In the Year 3000…In the Year Three Thousaaaaand

Mountain Dew, Red Bull, & Amp will form a partership to combine their technologies into one drink….it will be called “OH HELL YEAH I’M TWEAKING BABY!”  It will be a hit.

People will still speculate whether or not Elvis and 2Pac are still alive.

All of Europe will have transitioned into a nudist continent.

Blogging, Facebook, Twitter and the rest will be replaced by ThinkWarp.  You simply think something, in your mind, and your friends will hear it in their ears.

People will think of the A-Bomb, Napalm, and Nuclear Missles the way we think of spears and slingshots…as in, “Wow, I can’t believe people back in the 21st century had such primitive means of battle.  What woosies.”

Braveheart will still stand as the movie to which all other movies are compared to in terms of overall greatness.

Cows, pigs and chickens will no longer need to be raised and killed.  All meat products will be expertly grown in labratory-factories with giant petrie dishes.  All humans will have become lactose intolerant because of 21st and 22nd century steroid enhanced milk, making dairy products obsolete.

Bill Clinton will be looked upon as one of the greatest presidents in our nations history.  George W Bush will still be the butt of presidential jokes.  Barack Obama will have paved the way for future black presidents, hispanic presidents, and eventually a gothic teenage president.

Because of increased fear and crime, Trick or Treat will devolve into “Knock and I’ll Shoot”.  Of course, shoot is such a present day term, as guns won’t exist as we know them in that time.  It will probably be more like, “Knock and I’ll Say Intruder”, at which point the voice activated home protection system will active the magnetic field under the porch (all people will be required to wear lightweight magnetic shoes, enabling law enforcement to stop an individual at any time by activating the magnetic field under the area in which they stand), causing the person to be stuck in that spot.  It will then automatically alert the local law enforcement agency with a detailed report of the both the person (through use of a retinal information scan, or RIS) and the incident.  Police will arrive within seconds through an underground tunnel system (sort of like a hyperspeed roller coaster with protective tubes that you travel in), and take the person in question to jail, where their punishment, which will actually be the uniform punishment system, will be to sit in a room for 48 hours, where they will have nothing but bread and water, and be forced to watch all 12 Seasons of the early 21st century version of ABC’s “Wife Swap”.

Celebrating the Glorious Revolution from England

About half of our guys small group – along with wives/girlfriends, gathered together on July 3rd to celebrate the Glorious Revolution from England with hot dogs, chips, beans, beer, rum, paint-by-water gun fights, master pyrotechnics provided by Chris the Exploder, and the general defilement of the British flag.  Here is a small taste of the celebration:

For more of the fun, more of the defilement, and more of the general joy we experienced at the memory of our forefathers battling it out with the Queen’s men over 200 years ago, you can check out even more pictures by going to this Picture Trail album link:

http://www.picturetrail.com/sfx/album/slideshow/22256996

Michael Jackson – Part 4 – Favorite Song & Memory

My favorite memory of Michael Jackson is watching the HBO Live Concert special back in 1996 in my dormroom at college with my roomate, Buddha.  It was the first time I had seen any live footage of any of his concerts.  2 hours long from Bucharest.  Amazing.  He closed the concert with an absolutely amazing, energetic, inspiring singing of “Man in the Mirror”.  Take a look.

The concert ends with one of the coolest things I had ever seen in my life.  I didn’t learn until years later that it was actually a stunt man (pretty good illusion though).  At the time, it simply rocked my world and confirmed to me that Michael Jackson was and always will be the best musical performer on the face of the earth.  Here it is…

Michael Jackson – Part 3 – Earth Song

My 2nd favorite Michael Jackson song….one that many people are not familiar with.  Of the 15 or so times I’ve lost my voice in the car singing along with his stuff, about half of those have been because of this song.  Enjoy.

What about sunrise, What about rain
What about all the things, That you said we were to gain.. .
What about killing fields, Is there a time
What about all the things, That you said was yours and mine…
Did you ever stop to notice, All the blood we’ve shed before
Did you ever stop to notice, The crying Earth the weeping shores?

Aaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaah

What have we done to the world, Look what we’ve done
What about all the peace, That you pledge your only son…
What about flowering fields, Is there a time
What about all the dreams, That you said was yours and mine…
Did you ever stop to notice, All the children dead from war
Did you ever stop to notice, The crying Earth the weeping shores

Aaaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaah

I used to dream, I used to glance beyond the stars
Now I don’t know where we are, Although I know we’ve drifted far

Aaaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaaah

Hey, what about yesterday (What about us)
What about the seas (What about us)
The heavens are falling down (What about us)
I can’t even breathe (What about us)
What about the bleeding Earth (What about us)
Can’t we feel its wounds (What about us)
What about nature’s worth (ooo,ooo)
It’s our planet’s womb (What about us)
What about animals (What about it)
We’ve turned kingdoms to dust (What about us)
What about elephants (What about us)
Have we lost their trust (What about us)
What about crying whales (What about us)
We’re ravaging the seas (What about us)
What about forest trails (ooo, ooo)
Burnt despite our pleas (What about us)
What about the holy land (What about it)
Torn apart by creed (What about us)
What about the common man (What about us)
Can’t we set him free (What about us)
What about children dying (What about us)
Can’t you hear them cry (What about us)
Where did we go wrong (ooo, ooo)
Someone tell me why (What about us)
What about babies (What about it)
What about the days (What about us)
What about all their joy (What about us)
What about the man (What about us)
What about the crying man (What about us)
What about Abraham (What was us)
What about death again (ooo, ooo)
Do we give a damn

Michael Jackson – Part 2 – Thoughts / Memories

I was pretty much hooked on MJ back around 1983 when I saw my parents Thriller album and the picture of Michael with his pet tiger.  Probably the coolest thing I’d seen.  The only other vinyl album I remember at home at that time was one of John Denver….totally not cool in comparison.

I have a cousin named Dianna.  She’s a year older than me and we’ve been great friends our whole life.  We had a lot of funny moments in the months/years after the song “Dirty Diana” came out on the Bad album.  It was always funny sing because she was one of the most kind, gentle, sweet, and not-dirty people you could ever know.

I’ve lost my voice many, many times over the last 15 years or so from singing along with Michael Jackson songs in my car.  My voice seems to forget that his is about 4 octives higher.  It doesn’t care.  It must sing along.  And it must sing with the same intensity.

In fact, my favorite thing about MJ, probably the main reason I’ve been a fan of his music, is his intensity.  Heck, I don’t even know the lyrics to many of my Top 15 songs I posted about.  I’ve always found it more fun to sing along with him when I didn’t know all the words.  Ask me about this sometime, and I’ll perform for you to show you what I mean.  But his intensity is unmatched.  I’ve always felt like most of his grunts and screams basically stem from that….he’s so into the music, so into the song, that he can’t help but to scream.  It’s one of the main reasons his concerts were always so phenomenal….the dude gave everything he had at every show, the crying, the sweating, the energy.  The crowd felt like he had given them every ounce of what he had in him to make that concert great.

I was totally stoked when Invincible came out, because I had thought for a couple of years that he was probably done.  I remember sitting in the Mitsubishi car dealership where I worked at in 2001, singing along with “You Rock My World” with my sales manager.

A few years ago, I performed “The Way You Make Me Feel” at Big Mama’s Karaoke Cafe in Seymour, TN, just south of Knoxville.  Grunts, screams, dance moves and all.

One of his more popular songs – “Black or White” – is probably one of my least favorites.

It always amazed me how a person so soft, quiet, gentle, and boyish during interviews could turn into an angry, confident, energetic dancing maniac on stage.

Shocking fact – I don’t actually own the Thriller album.  Almost every song from that album is on Disc 1 of the His-tory album, so I never bought it.  Probably the only song from Thriller that’s not on the His-tory album that I actually want is “PYT” (Pretty Young Thing).

When I was a kid, the evil guy’s voice on the song “Thriller” used to really freak me out.

revisiting intolerance

A few days ago, I wrote that I was getting very tired of intolerance.

Another example.  Just this weekend, during a gathering of several families at a local Knoxville park on the river, someone’s 3 year old boy wandered off and ended up drowning in the river.  He was found by rescue divers about 2 hours after the parents noticed he was missing.

Terrible.  Tragic.  I think that’s the 3rd or 4th toddler aged child that has died in Knoxville in the past few months from drowning or other tragic means.  It breaks my heart to read about these things.

On the local newsstation website, the moderator ended up having to delete many comments from viewers that basically trashed the parents for not watching their child more closely.  Angrily blaming them for the death.

One commenter asked God in heaven to please welcome his new angel and look over his family.  A nice sentiment, right.

Another commenter, in response, writes, “Sorry, but a human can not ever become an angel. Saved perhaps, a saint once in a while, but never an angel. Angels are a totally different type of creature that were invented separately and before man.”

WHO CARES!  ARE YOU SERIOUS!  These types of things exemplify the intolerance that has just angered me recently.  A child dies, hundreds of people are in shock and terrible mourning, and many of our local residents respond by trashing the parents and taking a moment to remind us that the lost child is actually not an angel.

I’m over it.

Michael Jackson – Part 1 – Songs

I can’t possibly put all my Michael Jackson thoughts into one post.  I could, but you’d probably get tired of reading.  So I’m breaking it up into parts.

Part 1 – my favorite songs.  I couldn’t figure out how to narrow it down to 10, so I conceded to 15.  So, here are my 15 favorite Michael Jackson songs, in order from 15 to 1.  Feel free to critique.

15. Off the Wall (Off the Wall) – amazing bass line!

14. Wanna Be Startin Somethin (Thriller) – what a fun song … to this day, I still don’t  know why he says, “you’re a vegetable” about 4 times.

13. Is it Scary (Blood on the Dance Floor) – a very intense song, basically asking whether or not you get scared when you look at him.  Probably his least popular selling album, so you may not have heard this one.

12. Get on the Floor (Off the Wall) – another amazing bass line.  This might be the easiest upbeat song every written to sway back and forth to if you’re not a great dancer.  Not that I’m not a good dancer.  I am really.  Club style dancing though, not line or waltz or swing.  And there’s a great part toward the end of the song where he’s basically grunting, “shic a bope a ba, schic a bope a ba”.  It’s so cool.

11. Stranger In Moscow (History, Disc 2) – you’re going to see a few songs from this disc on my list, please tell me you’ve listened to them before!  A slow, almost creepy sounding song about his experience of being in Moscow.

10. Remember the Time (Dangerous) – known by many because it was a theme song/video to the Eddie Murphy movie, “Coming to America”.  Another song with great grunting sounds.

9. Break of Dawn (Invincible) – chorus line – “and we’ve got to make sweet love until the break of dawn”.  Come on, how can you not love that?  Great song off his final album.  Very smooth beat and great vocals on this one.

8. The Girl is Mine (Thriller) – awesome song featuring Paul McCartney.  How many times have you heard the line “I’m a lover, not a fighter” used?  This song is why.  Nuff said.

7. You Rock My World (Invincible) – his last hit single.  Really catchy chorus.

6. Keep the Faith (Dangerous) – a very gospel choir type of song.  Inspirational, as the title would suggest, with a GREAT build toward the end of the song.

5. Billie Jean (Thriller) – considered one of the greatest songs ever written, and the video is infamous.  Great story line, easy to sing, and anyone who hears the amazing bass line at the beginning immediately knows what song it is.

4. Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough (Off the Wall) – I totally love the quiet dialogue that builds into a very tense but hushed scream to start the song.  Grew to love this song more when I heard a bonus track of Michael and his brothers/sisters playing pots, pans, and random percussion instruments in a living room to lay down the original demo for this song.  It’s crazy good.

3. Scream (History, Disc 2) – incredible song, GREAT video.  If you’ll remember, this was a duet of sorts with sister Janet.  Again, the intensity is what I love about it.

2. Earth Song (History, Disc 2) – unfortunately, not many people are familiar with this song, but it’s an amazing, nearly 7 minute long song where he cries out about how we’re mistreating the earth.

1. Man in the Mirror (Bad) – I have every grunt and scream memorized on this one, along with the words.  Ask me.  I’ll perform it for you on the spot.  I’ll tell more stories about this one next week.

Good Stuff

A few good things to share…

About 3 weeks ago we visited Athens, TN for their annual Moo-Fest – a day long downtown festival sponsored by Mayfield Dairy Farms.  Food, games, animals, lots of cheese and milk, and a tour of the Mayfield plant are all part of the festivities.  It was pretty fun.  We had a hard time pulling Eli away from the hoola hoop area:

And, best of all, I snapped a picture of a redneck guy with plumber pants getting a $10.00 chair massage from a street vendor!

Two Sundays ago, I was honored to be able to speak for about 15 minutes during the two Sunday services at Crossings, as part of a mini-series called MMIQ – My Most Important Question.  We did this last summer as well, with 6 different people sharing over two weeks.  Same this year.  It was very tough, very emotional, but I’m so thankful to have been able to share openly with our community.  It was really the first time ever since my legal problems started 9 years ago that I’ve given any sort of public testimony of any kind.  I didn’t go into a lot of detail about the things I did, but really talked more about how the Crossings community has truly changed my life and made it possible for me & my family to experience true community, when I had thought that might not ever be possible again.

I want to say thank you to so many people who hugged me, cried with me, and encouraged me after each service (many of you are readers, so thank you, thank you, thank you).  I was a little scared to share some of my experiences, and was not sure what to expect in response.  I couldn’t have been more blessed, encouraged, and loved.  It simply reinforced what this community is all about.  Amazing.

Finally, this past weekend, I had the opportunity to see my college roomate for the first time in over 8 years!  Andy (I’ve called him Buddha since our freshman year – long story – but that’s what all our friends called him all through college), his wife Jen, and their oldest daughter Oliviah were in Florida on vacation this past week, and were driving back through Knoxville on their way back home.  They stopped by Saturday afternoon, spent the night with us, came to Crossings, and headed back out Sunday afternoon for a drive home to Indiana.  It was so incredible to see my friend again after so long.  We were roomates for 3 1/2 of our 4 years of school and recounted so many great times, stories, and pictures.  He’s now the father of 4 great kids, and is a riot squad leader at a maximum security prison in Indiana.  I’m thrilled they are doing well, and can’t wait til we get together again….hopefully sooner than 8 years from now.

A Couple of Things I’m Tired Of

Intolerance.  Especially intolerance among Christians.  On my I-Google homepage, I have links to local news articles from a Knoxville area TV station.  I often cringe when reading the public comments in response to certain articles.  It’s like area Christians are using the comments forum as their own hell-fire-brimstone platforms, and it’s sickening.

I’m not thrilled to have gone through some things I’ve gone through in my life.  But some of my experiences have taught me that people are truly flawed.  All people.  ALL people.  Some hide it better than others.  Some resist better than others.  Some just don’t give a damn.  But, ultimately, we are all damaged goods who need the love of a Savior more than we could ever imagine.  And we need it every second of every day, because for some of us, that’s about how often we sin.  Instead, many in our world mistake intolerance for tough love, taking pride in the fact that they might sin just a little less than the next guy.

We’ve got to walk through life with a perspective – a world view if you prefer – that allows us to see ourselves for who/where/what we truly are.  A miniscule fish in an infinitely large ocean, who somehow is still known and loved and pursued by the God who created both the fish and the ocean.  Our lives are important, but no more important or meaningful than the lives of our neighbors.  All sin.  All do wrong.  All will continue to do wrong.  Jesus helped make our goal in life so easy for us – Love God, and love others.  Can it be that simple, yet be so difficult?  Apparently so.

Greedy Monsters.  I’m reading John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath” for the first time since high school.  (I miss the half pint milk cartons)  Early in the book, there’s an amazing dialogue between the owner’s of the land, and the tenants (squatters) who work the land.  Basically, the owner’s need the squatters to move, because they’re not profitable and are behind on their loans.  The owner’s, in order to deflect their guilt and ignore their sympathies, place all the blame on these actions on the monster…the bank.

“You see, a bank or a company can’t do that (just eat off the land), because those creatures don’t breathe air, don’t eat side-meat.  They breathe profits; they eat the interest on money.  If they don’t get it, they die the way you die without air, without side-meat.  It is a sad thing, but it is so.  It is just so……….The bank, the monster, has to have profits all the time.  It can’t wait.  It’ll die.  No, taxes go on.  When the monster stops growing, it dies.  It can’t stay one size.”

Later, the owner says, “We’re sorry.  It’s not us.  It’s the monster.  The bank isn’t like a man.”

The squatter/tenant replies, “Yes, but the bank is only made of men”

“No, you’re wrong there – quite wrong there.  The bank is something else than men.  It happens that every man in a bank hates what the bank does, and yet the bank does it.  The bank is something more than men, I tell you.  It’s the monster.  Men made it, but they can’t control it.”

This was written over 65 years ago, but is still so true.  Men made the monster, but they can’t control it.  I’m tired of the monster of government, of big business, of if-you’re-not-growing-you’re-dying economics.  It’s crap.  I’m tired of paying the monster, depending on the monster, and even (to some extent) working for the monster.  This business attitude has destroyed much of our national camaraderie, the notion that we’re all striving for a better life.  Too many people now feel like there are simply the rich people, and the poor people, and that’s just the way it’s gonna be, brother.  And the gap continues to broaden, to divide.  What’s so bad about a business taking care of the needs of its community, making a reasonable profit so that those who own it and work it can make a good living, and that being the extent of it?  Does it always have to grow, make more money, and conquer the competition?  Can’t it just provide a service to people and take pride in doing so?

a couple of cool things from Threds…

First…..We’re partnering with McAlister’s Deli (we do all their uniform apparel for all their restaurants nationwide) on a new charity-driven site.  McAlister’s is a major contributer to Share Our Strength – an organization who’s one goal is to see that no kid in America goes hungry.

We’ve just gone live with a new site – WWW.TEAFREAKSTSHIRT.COM – that allows anyone who loves McAlister’s sweet tea (and don’t we all?) to buy a brand new “Tea Freaks” t-shirt.  The site will stay up for about 3 months, and ALL proceeds from sale of the shirts will go directly to Share Our Strength.

(ps – you didn’t hear this from me, but if you order a shirt, you also get a coupon in your order for a free cookie at McAlister’s Deli)

Second….we recently designed a series of new UT Football t-shirt designs that the general public got to vote on at UTsports.com.  Here is the winning shirt.  Over the next couple of months, we anticipate printing about 30,000 of these and they’ll be available for purchase at area retailers, and pretty much any store that you can normally find UT apparel at.  They’ll also be available at just about every single 107.7 FM WIVK remote over the next few weeks – staffed by part time college agers with Threds.

I’m not the biggest UT or Lane Kiffin fan….but it’s still a pretty sweet shirt, huh?

6 days…

and no post.  That’s nearly a record for me.  Sorry.  I’ve been totally slammed at work….and I only blog at work since we do not own a computer of our own at home.

Played golf 4 times in the last month.  It had been 2 years since I played.  The only reason I am now is because I saved up money for a little golfing weekend with an old friend last month, and he ended up having to cancel two days before the trip.  But we’ve rescheduled for later this summer, so I’m going to have to stop playing again or else I won’t have the cash to go play then.  Golf sucks.  And is also the most amazing pasttime I’ve ever known.

Is there a blog application that would allow readers to donate to my personal golf fund?

Erin and I watched the entire 4th season of Weeds in 3 days.  I’ve said this before, but I’m loving watching tv shows on DVD.  And Weeds is one of the best ever.  Now it totally sucks that we’ll have to wait several months before the 5th season is released.  Hopefully the 3rd season of Dexter will be out soon.  I can’t wait to see who he kills next!

Starting reading George Orwell’s “Animal Farm” last night.  The last time I read it was in high school, and I’d completely forgotten everything about it.  I probably read 1/3 of it last night, and would have loved to have kept going, but was just too tired.  When I’m finished with it, I’m moving on to John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath”, which I also last read in high school.  Again, I’ve completely forgotten it and only remember having liked it the first time (much like my first kiss, the last time I had homemade mango juice in Barbados, and playing Frogger).

We have a tiny area in front of our town house to plant things.  I mean, probably not much bigger than my office desk tiny.  For 4 years a thorny bush was there.  We inherited this.  I finally dug it out and went to find seeds to plant with Eli.  He chose Zucchini.  I did not know at the time that zucchini plants are freakish – they grow like crazy and produce more zucchini than you can possibly eat.  We only planted these 4 weeks ago and they are now overtaking our planting area!

No worries though, they won’t be an eyesore.  Because last week, just in front of the zucchini plants, I planted a row of mammoth sunflowers, which can grow to a height of 12 feet in just 2 months time!  That will rock.

Bought Beck’s “Odelay” album at McKay’s this weekend.  It’s from 1996.  Totally freaking love it.

Do you live in Knoxville?  Have you ever eaten lunch at Wright’s Cafeteria on Middlebrook Pike?  No?  YOU MUST GO.  The best sweet tea I’ve ever had in my life.  Peace out.

Movie Ratings – Part XI

At some point, I’ll become unsure of the Roman Numeric values of the movie ratings, which will force me to quit this series.  But I’m pretty certain that XI = 11, so we’re good for now.  Enjoy.

Terminator Salvation.  First impression – I realize this is partly the control of the movie theater, but this was the loudest movie I can remember seeing in the theater since the storming-the-beach scene in Saving Private Ryan back in 1997.  Second impression – Christian Bale basically acted like an even meaner version of Batman, which is to say he didn’t do much acting, just mean looks and a growling voice.  Third impression – some of the coolest special effects I’ve ever seen.  My Rating:  I can hardly remember anything about Terminator 1, Terminator 2, or Terminator 3 and still wanted to see this movie.  That’s weird.

Step Brothers.  Tea bagging.  Nuff said.  My Rating:  Will Ferrell, you’re a legitimately funny person.  You really are.  Will you please, please, please, please, please stop acting in every ridiculous dumb ass movie that comes your way, and start making more lasting choices.  And John C Reilly, you’re an awesome actor.  You were in Magnolia, one of my favorite movies ever.  Why are you getting dragged into this crap?  Help me understand!

Role Models.  Did you laugh at American Pie, Superbad, Napolean Dynamite, Dumb and Dumber, or the 40 Year Old Virgin?  Then, chances are, you’ll laugh at Role Models.  This movie was pretty much as vulgar as the previews made it out to be, but it ended up being MUCH funnier than I expected.  Sean William Scott is definitely a type cast actor, but he’s come a hell of a long way since Dude, Where’s My Car?.  My Rating:  It’s one of those movies you kind of feel guilty for laughing so hard at….just like American Pie, Superbad, Napolean Dynamite, Dumb and Dumber, and The 40 Year Old Virgin.

The Bucket List.  Two old guys keep getting older.  And before they die, they want to accomplish some things in life.  It stars Jack Nicholas and Morgan Freeman, so you kind of want to see it regardless.  And it made me think of my own bucket lists in life…things I wanted to accomplish before I turned 25, before I turned 30, before I turn 35.  Like those fellas, I’ve done almost none of it.  So I’m hoping that when I’m 70 and have a little more expendable income, my list will become a reality – skydiving, owning a jet ski, seeing Michael Jackson in concert, smuggling illegal immigrants in from Mexico, eating REAL Chinese food, and playing golf at Pebble Beach, just to name a few.  My Rating:  Sorry, I got so caught up in the thought of seeing Michael Jackson in concert, I forgot what the movie was about.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Guys, if you watch it just to see Kristen Bell or Mila Kunis spend half the movie in a bikini, then it’s worth watching.  Ladies, if you watch it just to see Russell Brand nearly naked on several occasions, it’s worth watching.  Fortunately, you’ll have the added bonus of seeing a movie that is legitimately funny, entertaining, fairly original, and absolutely worth enduring as far as chick flicks are concerned.  My Rating:  Maybe you didn’t see the earlier part … Kristen Bell and Mila Kunis very often in bikinis.  Russell Brand often nearly naked.  And Jason Segal pretty much doing what he does comedically, which becomes slightly tiring after a while but mostly works.  Just see it, already.

bruno vs eminem

Have you seen this yet??

just in case you forgot that Shaq used to rap

Be sure to laugh really hard at the first one.

And be sure to watch for Zeus in the second one.

promotion

Anyone out there ever get a promotion that included more work and a higher level of responsibility …. but no extra pay?

I just did.

clif bar

Never before have I enjoyed a protein or energy bar.  Not until I recently tried a Clif Bar.  They sort of look like terds, but they’re pretty tasty and have a good flavor selection.  I’ve been eating them for breakfast at work the last week or so.  Used them as an on-the-go snack this weekend while working at the event in Georgia.  And when you wash them down with a Mountain Dew, then follow it up with a couple of Swiss Cake Rolls for dessert, it makes for a great meal replacement!  =)

masters weekend

For the second year in a row, I get the pleasure of spending my Memorial Day weekend at Callaway Gardens in Pine Mountain, GA running an apparel booth at the Nautiques Masters Water Ski & Wakeboarding tournament.  It’s a pretty simple and enjoyable event in comparison with many of our other Threds events….except…this weekend is going to be the coldest, rainiest weekend in many years for the Masters event.  60’s all day with storms and showers everyday. 

Just like today.  Cool with showers.  Not too good for an outdoor event on a lakeside beach.  We brought about 500 t-shirts and 40 sweatshirts/jackets – and today we sold more sweatshirts than t-shirts.  Demand is high and inventory is LOW. 

Here’s a picture of the inside of our 10′ x 10′ booth.  Very cramped.  We only have room to put out about 1/2 of the stuff we brought. 

And here’s a picture of a custom designed Lambourgini from the makers of Mona Vie – apparantly a very popular and profitable energy gel that’s a big hit in the wakeboarding scene.  Mona Vie also brought along a customized F-350 truck, their own tour bus, and there was an overhead fly-by from the private Mona Vie jet.  All this from drinkable energy gel?? 

kiss and tell

Eli turned 5 about 6 weeks ago.  About 3 weeks ago, he started at a new preschool.  We hated to change after 2 years at one place, but, because of location, his new preschool will be able to pick him up from kindergarten starting in August.  His old one did not.

He’s adjusted well and made some new friends.  His best friend at this point is a VERY talkative girl named Maggie.  Just a few days ago, I found out from Erin that Eli and Maggie had kissed each other on the lips during playground time.

I asked him, “So, Eli, when you and Maggie kissed, was it yucky?”

Eli said, “Nope.  It was good.  I liked it.”

I love my small group…

Yes, this is just what it looks like.  A custom made 6′ x 2′ vinyl banner welcoming “Pastor Mark” to our small group.  Dotting the banner are the “deadly” words that you just don’t use at Crossings.  And yes, three guys are wearing wife beater shirts.  One is wearing daisy duke cut off shorts.  Two are wearing do-rags.  And one is wearing nothing but hiked up umbro shorts, goggles, a watch, and Old Spice.

And it was a great evening.  Lots of laughs.  Great discussion.  And the opportunity to help someone in our community move her stuff into storage later in the evening.

From L to R:  Andy (Grizz), Josh (Hut, Hut), Kurt (IJ), John (P3), Scott (Scott-O-San), Mark (Pastor), Me, Reid (The Roman God).  Not pictured, because of either work or showing up late:  Josh (A-Bomb), Chris (Gater), & Ryan (The Footballer).

one of the funniest ever

This past weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live was one of the funniest I’ve ever watched from beginning to end.  It feels weird to say this, but Justin Timberlake is the man.

Didn’t catch it?  Then you absolutely HAVE to watch this sketch:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/72446/saturday-night-live-immigrant-tale

Followed by this digital short:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/72434/saturday-night-live-motherlover

Seriously.  You have to.  Ridiculous.

And watch them in that order.  Makes it even funnier.

it’s just me

For the last 11 years, I’ve been convinced that no one could ever be as good as Michael Jordan.  Kobe, to me, simply does not compare.  Michael was much more explosive off the dribble and more ruthless than Kobe.  Not DWade.  He needs to be a couple of inches taller to be able to do more damage, post guys up, etc.  Never Vince Carter.  Total softy.  But now, for the first time, I’m starting to wonder.  I don’t get to watch a lot of the NBA, but everytime I’ve seen Lebron James this year – especially thus far in the playoffs – it’s been nothing short of amazing.  He could end up being the best ever.

Top – Friday face.  Bottom – Monday face.

(Preface – I love teachers.  Teachers are awesome.)

I should have been a teacher.  I can’t think of any other job in America where you get roughly 10 – 12 weeks of vacation per year, plus sick leave days.  According to the handbook, I think I can work my way up to 4 weeks of vacation once I’m at my current job for like 22 years.

The most damning sign that I’m getting old – I now really like using Old Spice after I shave.  Stuff smells awesome.

One nice thing about owning a bottom-of-the-line Hyundai Accent.  You never have to worry about locking the doors.  I mean, seriously, who wants to steal a Hyundai Accent?

AMAZING!!

favorite things

This is actually copied and pasted from one of my pages at the top, but I don’t think anyone ever reads them, so I thought I’d post it.  There are a few updates from the page.  Enjoy.

Favorite Food – Hamburgers

Favorite Movie (All Time) - Braveheart

Favorite Movie (Current) – Slumdog Millionaire

Favorite TV Show (All Time) - The West Wing

Favorite TV Show (Current) - The Office

Favorite TV Show You May Have Never Watched – Sports Night

Favorite Article of Clothing - Shoes With No Laces

Favorite Sports Team – Tiger Woods

Favorite Athelte – Tiger Woods

Favorite Person With an Animal’s Name – Tiger Woods

Favorite Retirement Dream – Traveling all over the world to all the most beautiful, spectacular natural environments … Grand Canyon, Victoria Falls, The Great Barrier Reef, Alaska, Montana, Mayan and Incan Ruins, etc.

Favorite All-Time Music Artist – Michael Jackson

Favorite All-Time Music Group – DC Talk

Favorite Way to Spend a Quarter – 2 pieces of Laffy Taffy

Favorite Drink – (tie) Coke / Sweet Tea

Favorite Restaurant – Cracker Barrell…you always know what to expect, and you always know it’s gonna be good.

Favorite Extra Curricular Activities – Movies, Church, Darts, Reading, Frisbee, Tennis, Enjoying Nature

Favorite Thing About President Obama – Seems to connect with the “common man”

Least Favorite Thing About President Obama – When doing tv interviews, he often comes across as scowling and a little snippy.

Favorite Cereal – Wow, what a tough question.  All time, I would have to say Apple Jacks.

Favorite Worship Song (All Time) – Lord I Lift Your Name on High

Favorite Worship Song (Current) – Jesus Paid It All – updated version from the Everything Glorious Album

Favorite Worship Song That I’ve Rarely Heard Sung in Church – Ancient of Days

Favorite Soap – Irish Spring

Favorite Shampoo – Pert Plus

Favorite Hair Cut – high and tight

Favorite Book (All Time) – Lord of the Flies

Favorite Book (Current) - Blue Like Jazz

Favorite Talk Show – Ellen

Favorite Reality TV Show – (tie) Extreme Home Makeover / So You Think You Can Dance

Favorite Place I’ve Actually Been – Barbados

Favorite Place I’ve Never Been – Idaho

Favorite Bachelor Food – Manwich

Favorite Car (All Time) – Honda CRX

Favorite Car (Current) – Honda Element

Favorite Thing About God – He is Constant, Never Changing

Favorite Slang Word – “sick”

Favorite Place to Eat Wings – Quaker Steak & Lube

Favorite Sandwich – Buffalo Chicken

Favorite Video Game (current) – Tiger Woods Golf, X-Box

Favorite Video Game (all time) – NBA Jam, Sega

Favorite All-Time Tennis Player – Andre Agassi

Favorite Sandwich Bread – Honey Wheat

Favorite Non-Sandwich Bread – Banana Nut

Favorite Character on The Office – Jim Halpert

Favorite TV Show I Hardly Ever Watch – Scrubs

Favorite All Time Baseball Player – Will Clark

Favorite List – Favorite Things

thinking out loud

Watched the first half of Bill Maher’s Religulous documentary last week.  It was so obvious what the gist of the documentary was that I didn’t have the motivation to watch the 2nd half.  Here’s the plot:  Maher has candid talks about his religious doubts with people who don’t know how to articulate their faith without sounding dumb or getting angry.  Maher laughs and they look like fools.  Maher moves on to the next person.  The end.

Eli had his annual physical / immunization check up last week.  He got 2 shots in one leg, 2 shots in the other leg, and had blood drawn from his finger.  Poor little guy walked with a limp for 4 days.  These types of things should be bold printed in the introduction of books like “Things to Expect When You’re Expecting.”

As part of a response to a previous post I did about wanting to hear some new music, Bill & Betsy made me 5 mix cd’s with like 80 songs for my birthday.  I’ve only made it through one so far, but I absolutely love it and can’t wait to hear the next four.

I think the name United States has evolved into a serious oxymoron.

The very first cassette tapes I ever owned (back in 1986) were Run DMC’s “Raisin Hell” and The Beastie Boys “License to Ill”.  No joke – in 5th grade, my friend Joseph and I used to go to other 5th and 6th grade classrooms in my elementary school and perform “You Be Illin” by Run DMC.  Our teacher actually set this up for us.

On the non-hit TV show Wipeout, has ANYONE ever made it across the gigantic bouncing balls without falling into the water?  Seriously, why do people even try?  Just leap into the water and start swimming.  It will be faster.

first ever suprise party

You expect a surprise birthday party when your 40, maybe 50.  That’s why getting a surprise birthday party at 33 is that much more suprising….because it’s such a boring age!  I was truly honored and thrilled to be welcomed by many of my closest friends last Friday night for such a party.  Erin worked so hard for many weeks to get this ready, going to great lengths to secretly get me out of a work trip, since I was actually supposed to be out of town last weekend.   Scott & Leigh were great hosts, and I’m so thankful to those who came.

It was a blast.  “The Office” was the overall theme of the party…there were Dunder Mifflin memos posted on the wall, dozens of hilarious quotes from show all over the house, The Office board game (which, without going into too much detail, basically evolved into a group game of “that’s what she said” jokes….i laughed so hard my whole body was hurting), and more.  We also had some great Mexican food and drinks!

I drank two very large pina coladas in a short time frame, which made me more sick than inebriated – which really blew, because inebriated was the goal.  But I guess that’s what happens when you drink more in one hour that you have in the last 6 months.  I also swatted a pinata from a tree for the first time in my life.  Very fun.  No “funniest home video” getting-racked-in-the-nads moment though.  Still fun.

family photos

Took an official family photo last night for the first time in about 18 months.  A heartfelt thanks to my good friend Sabrina, of Photography By Sabrina, for doing these for us.  Sabrina photographs all the products that we put on our retail websites at Threds, and stays very busy with weddings, anniversary shoots, family shots, baby shots, etc.  She was so great with Eli, who normally wants to make only goofy or mean faces when taking pictures.

creeper trail

Two weekends ago, for our anniversary, Erin & I spent a 2 day weekend in Abingdon & Damascus, Virginia for a visit to the Creeper Trail.  The Creeper is a 34 mile hiking / biking trails that runs through some amazing nature scenery and is VERY easy to ride.  The most popular section (which we did) is a 17 mile ride that runs down a mountain side.  You literally coast about 3/4 of the the time, and only have to pedal for about 3-4 miles or so.  And the majority of the trail runs alongside an awesome, rushing, mountain creek with great places to stop, small waterfall drops, and several bridges that take you over the creek.  Really spectacular to see.

We drove up on a Saturday morning, rented bikes and a shuttle ride from a local service, did the trail, stayed at a local Inn, chilled, ate dinner out, and drove back to Knoxville on Sunday.  Can’t say I’d necessarily recommend staying the night there to anyone, since there’s little to do or see other than the trail.  It’s probably much easier to make a day trip out of it.

Quiz

Hey friends.  This is probably going to be a pretty busy blogging week for me.  I’m thinking at least one post each day this week, so I hope you’ll stick with me and come back each day.

First, I have a quiz question for you.  Can you guess which of the peanut butter & chocolate chip granola bars shown below came from Aldi in the Aldi-brand granola bar box, and which one came from Kroger, in the Kroger brand granola bar box?

Still More Thoughts

I’ve found recently that the less tv we watch at home, the more happy I am that we’re watching less tv.  At this point, The Office and 30 Rock are the only shows I really don’t want to miss.  A couple of years ago, we were probably faithfully watching 6-7 different shows every week without fail.  It’s just too much.  Thankfully, we only have 12 channel cable ($16.00 per month), so it reduces the temptation.

I’m getting so sick of reading about kids getting killed in family murder-suicides or being left for dead in a garbage bag or being killed by their older brother.  Makes me yearn for a new heaven and a new earth.

This is sad but true.  I’ve recently struggled with an internal lack of motivation to get into exercising more and eating better.  One of the main reasons is that all my pants are size 34 and every single shirt in my closet (probably 60 shirts altogether?) are ALL size Large.  If I were to lose 15-20 lbs – which would be ideal – I would then be a size 32 pant size and would need to wear size medium shirts.  That’s intimidating to think that my entire closet could become osolete.

4 days later, I’m still crying over Marley & Me.

Next month, I’m spending 2 days in Kentucky with one of my absolute best friends from college.  I haven’t seen him in 4 years.  We’re meeting in the Lexington area, spending one night, and playing 2 rounds of golf.  Back in the day, we used to play a TON of golf together – I’m guessing we’ve played golf at least 50 times together over the course of about 6 years.  Never once did he beat me.  But I’ve not swung a golf club or hit a golf ball in 2 years.  I’m worried I may get beat, and I don’t like it.

I’m running sound for Crossings on May 3rd, on a sound board that is 10 times more complicated than any I’ve ever used before, and which I have a grand total of 2 hours of training on.  Excuse me for a moment.  I just wet myself.

Can anyone, off the top of their head, name 3 other men’s or women’s professional tennis players ranked in the top 10 in the world other than Nadal, Federer, Roddick, Williams, or Williams?  No cheating.  Be honest.  Me neither, and I thoroughly enjoy tennis.

If you’ll excuse me, I just thought about the fact that I’m running sound at Crossings again.  I’ll make sure and wear Depends that morning.

Movie Ratings – Part X

Wow, we’ve made it all the way to Part 10 of the movie ratings on this blog.  Hard to believe.  That means I’ve rated approximately 45 movies in the last (almost) 2 years.  As a special treat to commemorate the occasion, I have more ratings to share.  And you will like them.  Word.

Gran Torino.  How old does a guy have to get before he ceases to be intimidating?  In Clint Eastwood’s case, I’m guessing it will happen at age 94.  In the meantime, he’ll continue to write, act, direct, and kick ass.  My Rating:  Listen punk.  Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have f**ked with? That’s me.

Watchmen.  This movie can be summed up in 3 words.  Big blue penis.  My Rating:  It was long, it wasn’t very action oriented, it was a little confusing, and it featured a big blue penis.  You make the call.

Don’t Mess With the Zohan.  Never in my life would I have thought hummus could be so funny.  Or racial slurs and profiling.  Or humping old women.  But somehow, against my better judgement, I watched this movie, and actually laughed.  My Rating:  If you’re trying to make a decision between Step Brothers, Don’t Mess With the Zohan, or Superbad…ah hell, it’s a toss up.  They’re all ridiculously crude, wrong, insensitive, and ashamedly funny.

Marley & Me.  I laughed.  Then I went, “awe…..how cute.”   Then I enjoyed some chips and salsa as the story developed.  Then I noticed some lacsadaisical movie making moments.  Then I laughed again.  Then some more time went by………………………..and then I cried.  And cried.  And cried more.  And then had to actually work hard to keep myself from vocally crying out loud.  This was like watching a really great episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition and then having Ty Pennington die in a freak accident at the end of the show.  My Rating:  I’m recommending it.  But I’m stating imperatively that you MUST have a box of tissues nearby.  Don’t test me on this one.