This moment is truly the first time I’ve even thought about blogging in the last, what, 3 weeks?
(pause – receiving a phone call at my desk…)
And, 3 minutes later, I’m back. That’s the problem. I’m overwhelmed at work. I quite simply don’t have time to do anything else. I haven’t updated by Blockbuster online queue in about a month. Haven’t seen anything on You Tube in who knows how long. Haven’t been on Erin’s Facebook in probably 2 weeks or more. Have barely even had time to glance at ESPN and SI.com during the 15 minute lunch breaks that I take at my desk.
What do know….getting paged to go to my owner’s office for a conference call….until next time….
Today, I’ve returned to work after having 10 consecutive days off of work (December 25th – January 3rd). That’s the most consecutive days off from work that I’ve experienced in about 6 years … and the last time was because I didn’t have a job.
In fact, in my 5 1/2 years at Threds, up until last week, I had never taken off a full 5-day work week for vacation. All of my time off has been 3 day and 4 day weekends, or a random day here or there.
I’m not sure what to think about this extended rest thing. Sure, I enjoyed most of it while it was happening. Played a lot of Wii, spent 3 1/2 days in Kentucky with family, saw a couple of movies, ate a bunch of food.
But last night. Oh man, last night. The dread I felt last night at the prospect of returning to work was the worst I’d experienced since I was selling cars back in early 2004. It’s not just work. I like my work okay. It was the knowledge that the month of January is going to be one of the busiest, hardest, most overwhelming months of work I’ll probably have experienced in my time at Threds. Long story as to why – short version is that we’re taking over a pretty large merchandise account from another company, that company is going to be sending us a very LARGE amount of inventory (at least 1, maybe 2 full size 18-wheeler truck loads full), and we’ll have to unload it, count every last piece of it, enter every item into our computers, organize and inventory every bit of it, then frantically begin developing and ordering new products to build the line back up. It’s a good long term thing for our company. But it’s going to make January feel like hell frozen over.
And in all of this, my soul says to my mind, “Work is good. It’s a person’s responsibility in the world to work, to earn his place, to add something, to build something, to contribute to the community and earn a living for your family. Work is rewarding, and necessary.”
My mind responds to my soul, “That’s crap. I have to work because Adam and Eve ate the fruit. Lots of people have plenty of unearned money and don’t work. Work keeps me away from home an average of 10 hours each day, when you add in the travel time to and from. It stresses me out. It never pays quite what you think it should. It sucks.”
And so, at 4:28pm, I’ve taken 8 minutes to blog, even while things are piled on my desk and I’m very behind on the things I need to accomplish. And I can’t wait for the next 22 minutes to go by. And I’m normally not a can’t-wait-for-5:00pm-to-get-here kind of person. I blame that feeling today on all the rest. The glorious rest. The addictive rest. The God-honoring rest.
This will certainly not be the deepest of posts. I’ve not even thought about this blog for the last 2 weeks. Christmas season at work is overwhelming me….at work each day 15 – 20 minutes early, eating a 15 minute lunch at my desk, staying 30 minutes late many days. Whew.
The new Romans t-shirt for Crossings – The Manifesto of Freedom tee. Definitely the coolest looking one we’ve done so far. The front of the shirt is on the left – the four boxes – representing what was laid out as the “Four Moves of Romans”. What a Mess, What a God, What a Story, and What a Difference. The back of the shirt – on the right – follows the pattern we’ve set up where we lay out each week’s teaching date, passage, and big idea in a concert tour style print.
On Sunday, Erin/Eli/Me went to the Live Nativity Show at the Knoxville Civic Coliseum. Family friendly, real animals, huge choir, big production, they’ve been doing it for like 30 years. It was AWFUL. We left before it was even half way over. It was free, and I still felt jipped (spelling?). If the actual events of the Nativity were as boring as that show was, maybe that’s why only two of the four Gospels talk about it.
Over four weeks sugar soda beverage free now. The cravings are still there, no doubt about it, but I’m holding on. The way my body feels reminds me a lot of when I went vegetarian for a couple of months back in 2008. I’m not as thirsty or hungry all the time, I don’t have to drink a beverage just to satisfy an urge, and I’m pretty sure it’s helping me sleep better to, since I’m consuming MUCH less caffeine now.
Eli is SO very much into Christmas now. The kid is singing Christmas songs all the time – Rudolph, Frosty, Silent Night, Jingle Bells, you name it. We’re told he’s singing them to himself at school, he sings them in the shower, sings them laying in bed. It’s great. Wanna know what he’s asking Santa for Christmas this year? Gold and money. Not toys, not games, not movies. Gold and money. This, my friends, makes Christmas shopping very difficult.
(PS – in the Christmas spirit, the kids at church got on stage and sang a song during both services this past Sunday. Eli, during the 1st service, sitting right in the front, went full-finger deep on a nose pick, pulled the sucker out, and ate it right in front of about 130 people. Wow.)
Tiger Woods? No comment. It’s a private issue that remains in my family. My wife knows how I feel, and it should remain that way. We simply ask for privacy during this difficult time, as I deal with my conflicting emotions, and look forward to the upcoming 2010 PGA golf season.
For about as long as I can remember, I’ve been an active consumer of Coke, Mountain Dew, Mellow Yellow, Sunkist, Dr Pepper, etc … the entire family of high fructose corn syrupy goodness that is the American soft drink. In high school, when I went to church camp, I couldn’t wait for canteen time to roll around, so I could buy a Kit Kat bar and a Mountain Dew. In college, when I would drive to a ministry on the weekends, I would stop at the local Super America gas station in Grayson, KY and purchase a 20oz Mountain Dew and a honey bun for the road. For the last couple of years, Coke has been more my drink of choice. From the can. From the bottle. From the fountain. I love it all.
In the past 19 days, however, I’ve consumed 1 (one) 12oz can of Sprite. And that was 14 days ago. Other than that, it’s been UNsweet tea, water, water with Crystal Light lemonade packets added to it, orange juice, grape juice, and milk. I’ve consumed 2 diet-orange soda drinks. They were okay, but I didn’t care for them much.
By my estimates, over the last few years, I’ve consumed an average of 2000 – 3000 calories a week from soft drinks or sweet tea. Roughly a pound worth of calories each week. Tasty, delicious, craved calories, yes. But, nutritionally speaking, empty calories. Calories that do nothing for me but pep me up for a bit, then bring me down, and leave me craving more.
My attempts to cut out soft drinks in the past have been futile. Partly because I’ve been addicted to them for so long. And partly because I’ve not had a worthy “substitute” drink to satisfy me. I’ve always HATED diet soft drinks, and I just don’t enjoy drinking water that much.
This time around, I’ve turned most of my attention to unsweet tea. It takes a little getting used to. I’m sure it’s a lot like drinking coffee or beer in that regard (I assume, since I don’t drink coffee or beer). But I’m getting more used to it, and the presence of caffeine certainly helps. The orange juice and grape juice have calories, yes. I’m drinking them in moderation, only at home, mainly for the extra Vitamin C during the cold season.
I’m pretty sure this is my longest non-sugar-soda stretch in many years. At this point, I’m feeling much better about my chances of long term change. Ultimately, I would love to simply eliminate carbonated drinks all together, diet or non diet. I’m doing it partly because of the calories, partly because it will save me money, and partly because of the challenge, just the idea that this is something I should be able to exercise some control over.
I have this feeling that once Heaven is my reality, I won’t really care about those questions I’ve always wanted to ask God. Sort of like trying to wrap your brain around how the Egyptians built the pyramids, then when you see them in person, you don’t really care….you just want to admire them for what they are.
However, if curiousity is still a valid response upon entering the pearly gates, here are just a few of the questions I would like to ask God. I’m assuming He’ll continue to be all-present at that time, so that I won’t have to make an appointment or stand in line. That would make this much easier.
Questions:
Which is it, really? Nature or nurture? And if both, what’s the percentage breakdown?
Did you allow me to break my left arm 3 times in elementary school for a purpose? Does that purpose have anything to do with me being afraid to do anything that might cause injury ever since that time?
When my sister was in a car wreck that might should have killed her, did You actually intervene, or was it just pure luck?
Do You ever truly intervene, or do You allow things to happen the way they happen, and leave us to ponder the difference?
7 days of creation, or 7 eras/ages of creation, or instantaneous creation, or none of the above?
Why not make Your inspired Word a tad more black and white? Wouldn’t that have made faith more attainable for all? Why so many mysteries and grey areas?
Who really killed JFK?
Are we actually experiencing global warming in the 21st century?
If I had chosen one college over another when I was 18, how would my life have been different?
When my best friend’s heart failed and he collapsed and practically died right in front of me at the age of 25, was there anything I could have done at that moment that might have saved his life?
Did Jesus ever have a girlfriend?
Could you please quantify the size of the universe, and tell me whether or not it actually ends at some point?
Once saved, always saved?
In Your eyes, was Dennis Miller the worst Monday Night Football hire ever?
Why is life such a struggle?
Now that I’m in Heaven, what exactly do we do for the next trillion years?
About 18 months ago, after our guys small group had been meeting for about 6 months, had grown in numbers just a little, and were starting to gel, we kept having conversations each week about how we wanted to serve more consistently, both as individuals and as a small group. We wanted to be involved with helping people. Problem was, we just didn’t know how, and we didn’t want to just default to serving meals because that seemed like something lots of people were doing already.
Over the last 18 months, God took it upon Himself to figure this out for us. He has effectively placed in our path NINE (9) opportunities to help someone either in our small group, or in the Crossings community, move from one home to another. We are now, as we like to call it, the Moving Crew.
Two of these opportunities have come in the last two weeks. Last Thursday night, about 9 of us helped a single female in another small group move from one apartment to another. The ENTIRE move, beginning to end, took about 50 minutes. That’s what happens when you have a reasonably small amount of furniture to move, 9 guys, and a 20-foot box truck that Threds lets me use.
Then, last night, another move. We were excited to help Kristin, a great friend and a super-awesome person, in her move as a first-time home owner! (Refer to picture…not pictured is China Matt, who I think must have been using the bathroom while this was being taken. Sorry man.) She had significantly more stuff. But again, with 10 guys, a 20-foot Threds box truck, and 2 other pickup trucks, the entire move took about 2 hours. Then we were treated to home cooked BBQ, chips, brownies, and sweet tea!
It can be hard work. It can be frustrating. But it’s so amazing to get to step into the lives of people in our community and help them in a tangible way, in what is usually a sort of overwhelming time. I’m so thankful God heard our conversations and prayers, and helped us find a way to serve.
In fact, our small group is so pumped up about our ministry, we’ve taken the obvious next step. We’re getting t-shirts! =)
Over the last 8 years of my life, debt has been a constant reminder of my terrible actions and stupid decisions. The terrible actions and stupid decisions, well, I won’t get into those today. As for the debt…
It feels much like jumping off of a sinking about about a mile from shore. You’ve got on a life jacket, so you’re staying alive, but you’re a mediocre swimmer, and the current proves too strong. You swim hard, kick, fight, make progress, and can see the shoreline. The shoreline full of debt-free people who enjoy less stress, take vacations, save for the future, and drive paid-for cars.
Then you stop to catch your breath, and the current does its thing. And 8 years later, instead of being a mile from the shoreline, you’re now .85 miles away. Closer, but a long ways away and struggling.
I know the situation is about 97% my fault, but it’s so much easier to be mad at the system, the credit card companies, ridiculous health care premiums, and the untimeliness of certain costly events.
Dave Ramsey has been a good guide and a reasonable voice, but his methods alone can only take you so far. Selling every unessential item you own, taking on three jobs, and never spending a dime on anything unnecessary sounds inspiring when you read it. Until, of course, you realize every unessential item you own is probably worth about $100 total, you care more about the sanity of your family than about working three jobs, and that never spending a dime on anything leads to hermitism, social depression, and never doing anything with friends.
So you make an airtight budget that pays your bills, gives you a small weekly allowance that gives you at least some freedom to grab an occasional lunch or see a movie once a month, and then hope to God that the car doesn’t break down, that a bone doesn’t get broken, and that you’re lucky enough to keep your job.
And, then, squeezed somewhere into there, you give back to God. You tighten the small weekly allowance, just to make it possible. And you go through a mental battle that wages a war on whether or not that God-money is optional. “Bought too many groceries this week? Just take it out of the God money.” (no, no, no) “Donated money to a third party cause of some sort? No problem, just take that out of the God money.” (ahhhh, can’t do that) “Have to buy a pair of shoes this week, because yours are 2 years old and falling apart. You gotta do it, gotta have shoes. Just take it out of the God money.” (crap! stop!)
And so you swim. And hope. And pray. And say thanks for forgiveness for stupid decisions. And you give. And work hard to accept what you have as a blessing from the Giver. And you squint even harder, trying to see the light in the tunnel. You dig harder, trying to see that ray of sunlight coming through the dirt. You swim faster, seeking the joy of the shoreline. And you enjoy family and friends. You worship. You trust. You live.
Having been a part of my guys small group now for over 2 years, I sometimes find myself feeling bad for churches that try to do small groups, and it just doesn’t work. I don’t even really know who these churches are, I just know they’re out there.
Coming from a fairly traditional church background, up until just a few years ago, I can totally understand how small groups just don’t work in many places. It’s hard to describe, but not so hard to understand.
At the same time, it’s hard to describe exactly why they DO work at Crossings. Granted, not every small group is always flourishing. Some have growing pains. Others end. Still others have consistency issues. But, as a whole, our small groups are thriving and are truly providing the life blood of our church.
Because each group is different, does different things, and are led by different personalities, I can really only explain MY view as to what makes a small group work. How do you build community among people who may not know each other? How do generate a spirit of loyalty and camraderie? How do build a small group for the long term?
For me, it’s by CREATING MOMENTS. What do I mean? Think back to your youth group (if you were in one). Do you remember the lessons or what you prayed about? I don’t, and you probably don’t either. But do you remember the mission trip, the CIY conference, the service project you did in the cold of winter, or the crazy experiences on the church van? I do.
Think back to high school. Do you remember any individual class session or a conversation with a friend? Probably not. But do you remember your prom, going to the state competition in something, participating in a special event, or your graduation party? I do.
Are you a parent? Think back on your child’s first year. Do you remember much about individual days or moments spent with your child? Probably not. But do you remember the birth? The first time they smiled or crawled? Their first birthday party? I do.
So now, I think back on my small group. We’ve studied about 15 books of the Bible, spent hours in prayer for one another, eaten lots of great snacks, and spent time talking about our weeks and what’s going on in our lives. Do I remember much of that over the course of 2 years? A little bit, but not much.
But what do I remember? ……. our very first awkward small group meeting at Scott’s apartment, helping the Restoration House with a work project, laughing our asses off at IHOP, going to see The Dark Knight, helping people in our community move to new places, welcoming Mark to our small groupwith a customized banner, spontaneously deciding one night to go see midget wrestling, only to end up at Sundown in the City, celebrating the glorious revolution from England together, going camping on a wet and rainy weekend, gangsta posing with the BVD, leaving a stack of potted meat cans on one guys doorstep, going to see our new friend in the hospital after he had a wreck, then helping him move to a new apartment a week later, pissething on the wall, going tubing on the Pigeon River, going to see our buddy’s band perform, volunteering at Prom of the Stars, watching a guy in our small group get baptized.
For me, this is what makes our small group great. Clearly, we are grounded in seeking Christ together, studying His Word, and praying for each other. But what has made it last, what has built true friendship and loyalty and a spirit of togetherness, has been creating moments. Moments that build, that serve, and that endure. To me, without these, we are basically a Sunday School class that meets on Thursday. But by creating moments, we become a small group.
This is something I share with people often. I do it because I like to sound frugal, and because it helps me seem like a person who has his priorities straight in the world. I also share it out of arrogance, because it somehow helps me feel better than those to whom I am sharing. Yes, I recognize these things, yet I do it anyway.
You’re asking…What is it you share? I’m so glad you asked, because that way it makes it much easier for me to project my false morals on you.
The statement: In my entire life, the only time I’ve ever had cable TV was during my 4 years of college. Yep. Truth. 33 years old, and I’ve enjoyed cable TV for only 4 years of it.
Growing up, we had the huge outdoor antenna that usually sometimes got us the big 4 or 5 stations out of Louisville, KY. Usually. College – cable. Enjoyed it. The early years of Sports Center with Dan Patrick and Keith Olberman, movie reruns on TBS and USA, getting to watch the Bulls play more than 3 times a year.
Ever since – no cable. At least, not REAL cable. For several years, I simply used an amplified tv antenna that normally got 4 or 5 stations. For about 5 years now, we’ve had the “basic cable” package, which gets us anywhere from 6 – 9 watchable stations and cost us about $15.00 a month.
** Watchable stations do not include QVC, the local Knoxville brainwashed preaching programs, or the 24 hour a day local community news feed that updates me on things like Parents Night Out at Rockwell Baptist Church and Free Gummy Bear Day at Ace Hardware Store.
Now, if we really wanted to, we could scrounge up some money and afford regular cable. We would need to cancel our monthly Blockbuster Online account, but it would be doable. But here’s my issue….why give myself even MORE opportunity to watch TV, when I already watch more than necessary already?
Lately, we haven’t even really watched a ton of TV. We always watch The Office and 30 Rock, but everything else is hit or miss. I watch sports occasionally on Saturday or Sunday, but rarely more than a couple of hours, and I rarely if ever watch an entire game of any sport from beginning to end.
We still use Blockbuster Online, but more sparingly than in the past. It seems as though we’ve finally watched about every movie we would ever want to see, and most new releases just don’t pique our interest as much. We keep Blockbuster Online mainly for the TV series that are sometimes harder to find in the stores. Just this week we finished Season 3 of Dexter (amazing!). And it’s cool to have access to older movies online that the stores don’t stock, like Cool Hand Luke or Chinatown. One of which I haven’t watched yet, and one of which I didn’t really like. That doesn’t matter though. What matters is they are available.
But again. Why do we need more TV? We typically only have about 2 hours of actually family time together in the evenings before it’s time for Eli to go to bed. On the weekends we go to church, grocery shop, run errands, and try to do something fun every once in a while. I’m older now, so I typically go to bed around 10:30 instead of midnight.
Why do we need more TV? Most shows are set up now so that you MUST watch every week to know what’s going on. If you miss a week, you’ve got to catch it on Hulu before it’s too late. We have no DVR, so we can’t just set up to record everything we like. And why would we? So we can send Eli to bed even earlier, and veg out even more on the weekends, just to get caught back up on How I Met Your Mother or Parks and Recreation?
No, I say. Not more TV. Less TV. Admission – the pull is still there. I want ESPN so bad I want to cry sometimes. But I also know that 1 hour of Sports Center just doesn’t suffice. For some reason, it’s necessary to watch it 3 times in a row, just to see if they deliver their lines differently the second or third time around. So I fight the urge. I fight Erin’s urge. I fight Eli’s urge (Disney, Nick, Cartoon Network). And we suffer through life with basic channels, an analog VCR for recording purposes, and Blockbuster Online for everything else.
And in some ridiculous and warped way, in my mind, that makes me seem better than you. Unless of course you don’t have a TV at all. Which simply makes you strange and out of touch. =)
I don’t quite understand how to read the Old Testament. Do I read it for historical purposes, to understand the lineage of Jesus? Do I read it for life application, comparing my life to the up and downs of the Israelites, realizing that I stray and turn my back on God as often as they did? Do I read it just to get an understanding of how bad things were, and why we needed a Savior?
Example. We just studied the 10 Plagues in Exodus at small group last week. We doing some studies of the Essential 100, and that’s just where we are at.
Now, the plagues are an amazing story, just in terms of story value. Makes for an amazing movie. Shows the power of God in a frightening way. The things that happened are unfathomable and so epic that we could never understand their affect.
But I don’t really understand what to take from reading about the plagues. In fact, it makes me shake my head about God maybe more than anything else in the OT. The plagues were cruel, terrible, sort of over-the-top punishment rained upon an entire nation or people group. It’s hard for me to be believe that ALL the Egyptians were deserving of this punishment, that many of them were simply suffering because of the hard heart of the Pharoah. Their water supply was ruined, their land turned to filthy, odorous ruins, their livestock obliterated, and thousands of firstborn children killed. Sure, the end game was to make it possible for Moses to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt and off to their own lands. But was all that really necessary? In fact, the flood makes more sense to me than the plagues.
Over the last 2 years in small group, we’ve studied Genesis, some of Exodus, and most of the minor prophets. And I’ve continued this struggle of knowing how to read these books and what to gain from them. I’ve struggled with the fact that so much is missing, chunks of time go by in a story and you have no idea what happened during those times. Sometimes God is a provider, sometimes full of wrath, sometimes elusive, and sometimes is even coaxed by a prophet to change His mind about something.
So many Old Testament laws and practices no longer apply and were really abolished by the new covenant. The person of Jesus made so many OT laws seem ridiculous (an eye for an eye). So, why read parts of Exodus or Deuteronomy or Leviticus where so many of these laws are laid out, which no longer mean anything to me, and only serve to make me more confused?
So. How do you read the Old Testament? What do you gain from it in personal life application? Do you get as confused as I do? Do you read it just as a surface story, or do you like to dig deeper into the meanings, the culture, the background? Ultimately, I know it’s important for me to read these books of Scripture, I’d just like to figure out the best reason why.
For me, one of the nice things about growing older – both in age and in my faith – has been the opportunity to wrestle with faith questions in my life. Over the years, one of the most important of these questions has been the role of baptism in salvation.
Background – I grew up in a church tradition, and went to a Christian college, that both viewed and taught baptism as being a necessary, final step to being saved. There was a specific salvation process – you believe, you repent, you confess, and you are baptized. All four of these steps were necessary, and the omission of any, at the very least, put your salvation at risk. It was looked at sort of like changing the tire on your car, but forgetting to tighten the lug nuts on the spare. Yeah, the tire is there, but it’s probably going to fall off as soon as your drive away. Then you wreck and die.
I had often questioned this view of baptism, but had neither the depth of faith nor the moxy to dig into it further. I had asked myself questions like, “If you saved a person in the deserts of Africa, and the nearest “dunkable” water source was 5 miles away, and this person simply could not make it to the water source, would they really die and go to hell?” Scriptural references aside, this simply did not make sense to me. It was contrary to the loving and relational nature of God.
A turning point began for me around 1997, when I heard Bob Russell, senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Ky, do a sermon series on these 4 steps of salvation. Long story short, he spoke of baptism in this way…..baptism isn’t necessarily required for salvation, but it is required for the “assurance” of salvation. God is not a legalistic God, so it’s not in his nature to make us do things to earn his love. But read the New Testament, especially Acts – Jesus was baptized, and everyone who came to know and believe in Christ was baptized. If it was good enough for Jesus and the first Christians, shouldn’t we naturally follow that example?
This made sense. It left open the possibility that a person was saved upon belief and repentance, even if they couldn’t immediately get to a baptistry, creek, or lake. It helped me see baptism as a celebration of salavation, rather than the final exam. Since that time, I’ve viewed baptism as a wedding ceremony to Christ….when you fall in love and commit your life to your future spouse, you don’t have to just run out and immediately get married. At the same time, it’s not necessary to have a full blown wedding with 100’s of people and a fancy ceremony. Yet couples like to do this, because it’s a celebration. It’s a way to celebrate their love with others, to make it public, to create a memory that will last forever.
You don’t have to get baptized immediately….accordingly, nor should you wait 2 years to do it. You can be baptized in front of 2 people or 10,000. The point is, it’s a celebration of your love for Christ. It’s your wedding to him. Maybe – MAYBE – you don’t have to marry Christ. Maybe God’s love reaches wide and long enough to hold you in, even if you ignore this important step.
But why would you? Why ignore the example of Christ and the early believers? Why explain away its importance? Why sprinkle when Christ was immersed? Why baptize babies when people in the Scriptures made this decision on their own? Why roll the dice and take the chance? In this way, baptism as the “assurance” of salvation has always made great sense to me.
Yesterday, we had another Crossings baptism celebration. As always, it was great. At Crossings, we have baptism celebrations every 3-5 months. In most cases in our community, new believers in Christ are not baptized immediately. I have old friends who would have a great deal of issue with this, so much so that they would probably not attend our church because of it. I can understand this, I just don’t agree with it. You just can’t imagine how special it is when we plan these celebrations, invite the entire community, have dozens – even hundreds – of people show up, and all celebrate wildly together when each person is raised from the water. As a result, our baptisms are less of a hurried requirement (and even sometimes annoying to those who are ready to leave church and get to lunch before the crowd arrives)….and more of an anticipated party.
I’m so grateful for the depth of God’s love. And I’m thankful that the waters of baptism are not a hoop, a jump rope, a high bar, or a 3 point line. Rather, they are 2 open arms, a kiss on the cheek, a thousand hugs, and enough “woo hoo’s!” to last a lifetime.
Last night we were watching some episodes from the season 3 DVD of Dexter – one of the best TV shows I’ve ever seen. Check it out sometime.
Anyway. A character in the tv show is dying of lung cancer. It’s terminal. There’s no way to treat or cure the cancer at this point. Dexter has known this lady for many years and visits her in the hospice care center a few times.
One day he goes in, and she’s in a terrible mood. Why? Because the doctor told her that her tumor was actually slowing down it’s growth rate. Meaning she probably had another month to live, instead of another week. She began to cry and choke, completely torn up over the fact that she now had to endure the pain, the difficult breathing, the vomiting, and, as she put it, s**tting all over herself at night, for another month. She just wants to die and be done with it. She’s ready to go. Her husband had died a year or two before, and she was simply ready to join him. And, in the end, she begs Dexter to help her die. To pull the plug. Smother her. Anything to make it all be over with.
If I’m ever in her shoes, will I feel the same way? I’ve never had to endure prolonged and terminal pain, so I can’t say for sure. But it really made me start thinking about assisted death and, apart from religious or spiritual views on the matter, whether there was a place for it in the world of health care. Sure, guidelines and legal protocols would likely be a mile long. Lawsuits would run rampant. But might there be a place for it, really? Would it be ALL that different from the do-not-recessitate laws that are already used? Was Jack Kavorkian on to something?
Crap, I don’t know. I feel sort of sacreligous for even thinking it. At the same time, it seems right, almost kind and merciful in many situations. To allow a person who’s scientific hope for physical relief has reached its end the personal option to end their suffering. My head is sort of spinning on this one. I’ll need to think it through. Thoughts?
I am completely torn on the health care debate. Over a year ago, after watching the movie “Sicko”, it was clear to me that health care for all was the only clear path for a moral nation. How could you allow people to be sick, to live with disease, or to die. And, maybe even worse, how could you stand to send millions of people into financial shambles if they are forced to have problems or injuries treated with no health coverage.
Here’s the thing. I haven’t changed my stance on health care. I still think it should be provided to all, somehow, someway.
It’s the “somehow, someway” that I’m torn over. I understand capitalism and economics enough to know that free health care isn’t the answer. But how do you federally regulate the system so that it’s fair to everyone.
Sure, we could regulate the cost of all procedures down to the bare minimum. But don’t hospitals, insurers, and doctors have at least some right to earn a good living? Sometimes I think it’s criminal for a doctor or surgeon to make $500,000 to $1,000,000 per year, knowing that money comes from inflated insurance costs and expensive procedures that most people just could never afford, but are forced to undergo just to live. At the same time, I think, “well, that doctor or surgeon went to school and worked his or her ass for about 10-12 years to learn how to heal the human body, so they should be entitled to make that kind of money.” You get my dilemma?
Both fortunately and unfortunately, long gone are the days of the town doctor that shows up to your house with a little satchel and does what he can to help and might accept a side of beef for payment. Fortunately, because today people don’t have to battle illness on their own. They don’t have to automatically assume that the flu might take their life. They don’t have to have their broken bones set by a family member and then braced with a couple of pieces of wood and some string. We have a plethora of doctors, clinics, and hospitals. We have prescription medicines that help us breathe better, sleep better, hurt less, fight off bugs, regulate our blood, and battle fevers. We have procedures for all types of injuries and problems that have been studied, practiced, revised, improved, and repracticed over the years, such that procedures that may have been impossible 100 years ago are now common and routine.
But, unfortunately, because all of this comes at a price. We feel we have a right to be treated immediately and effectively for our respiration problem, but forget that the machine that just x-rayed our chest cost about $350,000, and someone has to pay for it. We sue surgeons and hospitals for any procedure that doesn’t go quite right, and they in turn charge that much more for the service because of their rising insurance costs. We eat fast food, drink sugar, and barely exercise, yet wonder why in the world we keep getting sick 3 – 5 times a year, and why our joints hurt so much when we turn 40, and why we’re so sluggish all the time, in need of more coffee or Coke. We can’t believe the hospitals would charge $20,000 for a simple surgery, yet we forget that the surgeon studied for many many years, and probably deserves to be very well paid, considering that his/her job is to help people live longer.
So, now, I no longer really know where I stand. Free health care, but at who’s expense? Subsidized health care? But again, at who’s expense? Can, we, as a nation, adjust to longer waits and only-as-truly-needed procedures? Are we capable of taking some responsibility for our personal health habits? Is it any more fair to federally mandate the cost of a surgery than it would be to federally mandate the price of a large pizza?
Yes, the health care industry needs to be held more accountable. They need to be consistent. They need to be more open. It should be far less difficult to find out how much something costs, and why. It should not be common practice to charge two different patients two different costs for the same procedure. These types of things make me sick. But I know these things happen in other industries as well. The only difference is that the other industries aren’t necessarily enlongating my life, or the life of my friends or family. So I just don’t care quite as much.
I don’t know the answer. I only hope there is one. Because any nation, whether Christian or Muslim, wealthy or third world, should truly and actively care about the physical well being of its citizens. To me, that is the one unshakable fundamental to this debate.
At least for now, I want to continue blogging. But for the sake of purpose and clarity, I’ve tried to think through some ground rules, a sort of blog-filter if you will. The blogs that have lasted are the blogs that matter and have a point. The days of everyone starting a blog and posting nothing but personal updates and you tube videos are over. Partly because we get tired of that. Partly because Facebook offers a much better way to communicate personal-life details. I’m even getting a weird feeling that Twitter is going to die out soon. Anyone who has enough time on their hands each day to keep a consistent Twitter feed going needs to re-evaluate what exactly they are doing with their time each day. And those are are Twittering consistently are simply going to get tired of it.
So a blog needs to be thoughtful, meaningful, and provide an actual reason for a reader to return. I know most of you that read, and you can simply become friends with Erin on Facebook to find out that Eli had a good day at kindergarten, we went on a camping trip, or that work has been rough. So for you to stay interested, and to attract possible new readers (which I admit I want to do), there has to be more.
With that in mind, here are a few ground rules I’m going to establish. They’re not necessarily hard and fast (and if you just said “that’s what she said” to yourself, shame on you), and I may occasionally allow myself a guilty humorous pleasure or two, but they’re ground rules nonetheless.
1. If I can create a post in two minutes or less, it’s not a post, and never deserves to be a post.
2. Blog posts shall be well thought out, and written to the best of my ability.
3. I will try to focus my content on issues, opinions, challenges, questions, admissions, hypothesis, and general diatribes that are important to my faith, worldviews, and overall life experience.
4. Because of ground rule #3, anonymous comments are both welcomed and encouraged if the commenter feels it necessary. This gives you the freedom to question my views, give truly honest feedback, or simply bash me.
5. There shall be no established guideline to the frequency of posts. It’s easy to post frequently if such posts are not well thought out (see ground rule #2). That shall not be the case here. Posting frequency shall coincide only with the time and ability I have to post thoughtfully and effectively. Therefore, any comment asking where I am or did I disappear shall be ignored.
6. Reader comments are not only welcomed and encouraged, but shall serve as a litmus to the quality of the posts, and the overall health of the blog. An equation might look like this: Comments = good post & healthy blog …(or)… No comments = crappy post & dying blog.
7. The total number of “views” on this blog shall no longer mean anything (much like a pitcher’s winning record when his ERA is actually 5.23). It is apparent that most of my 27,000 views to date have come from people who have Googled the following search terms: “Hillary Clinton’s cankles”, “Toyota Corolla”, “Michael Jackson History”, “BVD underwear”, and “Best Worship Music.” None of these Google searchers have either read or contributed to the blog in any way. They are dead to me.
I hereby announce that the official Ground Rules are established.
I spent 4 days in Elkhart, Indiana on a work trip. Felt amazement at the vast expanse of corn fields along the interstate. And partook of an almost live pig while there.
Went on a “stay-cation” in Pigeon Forge with Erin & Eli in early August for 4 days.
Took a 2 day golfing trip to Richmond, Kentucky with a great friend of mine who I had not seen in three years.
Saw Eli off to his first days of Kindergarten. He’s doing rather well, I think. Most days, his favorite part of the day is getting to choose what he wants to eat for lunch. The choice is the key. When I was growing up, they served what they served. But he gets to choose between two main dishes, and can pick 3 of 5 side items. Heaven for a 5 year old who loves eating.
Began shaving my head again. I can’t help it. It’s who I am. I like it this way.
Saw our first ever sunflowers grow to be 6 – 12 feet tall. Soon after, they got too top heavy for their own good and began to fall over.
Went tubing down the Pigeon River twice, once with 3 guys from small group, and once with Erin and our great friends Reid and Sarah. I nearly broke my finger swinging from an old rickety rope swing on the side of the river.
Joined my first ever fantasy sports league of any kind. And won my first matchup.
Celebrated my 5-year anniversary with Threds (today, in fact). The longest I’ve ever been at one job in my life.
Saw my guys small group nearly double to at least 16 guys, maybe 18. Sadly – and happily – we’ll soon be “reproducing” into two separate groups.
Heard the loudest singing from our community at Crossings that I’ve ever heard in my over-2 years of being there. Tear jerking.
Rearranged my office at work. Come visit me sometime. You can see.
Spent 3 days in Charlotte, NC at the annual Salsarita’s franchisee convention.
Went camping for 2 1/2 days in Cades Cove with my good friend Chris. My first time camping in about 10 years. We saw 4 deer walking through the campground, saw 3 bears while driving the Cades Cove loop, did a 5 mile round trip hike to Abrams Falls, ate 4 fire roasted hot dogs each, and went through an entire bag of marshmallows.
Helped a new friend from small group move to a new apartment just days after he had a terrible motorcycle accident, broke his pelvis, busted his hip, and tore his leg up pretty good. I’m so grateful to be in community with guys who are ready and willing to help.
Was thrilled to see my wife, Erin, be awarded the Golden BVD award at the last Crossings Leadership Community. Congrats, honey!
Have thought often about the future direction of this blog. I’ll get into that more at another time. For now, please enjoy a sampling of pictures that help encapsulate some things I’ve just mentioned in this post.
for a while. Can’t say exactly how long. Been blogging about three times a week for over 2 years now. And this whole Facebook and Twitter are taking over the world, blogging is growing obsolete, and if you’re not posting from your qwerty keyboard phone your a social geezer shift continues to weigh on me. Therefore, it’s break time.
Talk to you again sometime in the not so distant or immediate future.
I’ll tonight work from six until eight
With other brains to speculate
Efficiency plans
That down to a man
Will give us more work and less breaks
This weekend we’ll drive to the state
Where bluegrass and coal mining mate
To hang with the crew
Both Edelen and Booe
You need me to elucidate?
Last night watched a movie so wack
With Keanu the thespian hack
Where he Stood Still the Earth
Not a crap was it worth
Can I please have my two hours back?
In the comments I’d sure love to see
A writer who eloquently
Can write such a prose
As me, I suppose
On my part it’s wishful thinking. =)
Mountain Dew, Red Bull, & Amp will form a partership to combine their technologies into one drink….it will be called “OH HELL YEAH I’M TWEAKING BABY!” It will be a hit.
People will still speculate whether or not Elvis and 2Pac are still alive.
All of Europe will have transitioned into a nudist continent.
Blogging, Facebook, Twitter and the rest will be replaced by ThinkWarp. You simply think something, in your mind, and your friends will hear it in their ears.
People will think of the A-Bomb, Napalm, and Nuclear Missles the way we think of spears and slingshots…as in, “Wow, I can’t believe people back in the 21st century had such primitive means of battle. What woosies.”
Braveheart will still stand as the movie to which all other movies are compared to in terms of overall greatness.
Cows, pigs and chickens will no longer need to be raised and killed. All meat products will be expertly grown in labratory-factories with giant petrie dishes. All humans will have become lactose intolerant because of 21st and 22nd century steroid enhanced milk, making dairy products obsolete.
Bill Clinton will be looked upon as one of the greatest presidents in our nations history. George W Bush will still be the butt of presidential jokes. Barack Obama will have paved the way for future black presidents, hispanic presidents, and eventually a gothic teenage president.
Because of increased fear and crime, Trick or Treat will devolve into “Knock and I’ll Shoot”. Of course, shoot is such a present day term, as guns won’t exist as we know them in that time. It will probably be more like, “Knock and I’ll Say Intruder”, at which point the voice activated home protection system will active the magnetic field under the porch (all people will be required to wear lightweight magnetic shoes, enabling law enforcement to stop an individual at any time by activating the magnetic field under the area in which they stand), causing the person to be stuck in that spot. It will then automatically alert the local law enforcement agency with a detailed report of the both the person (through use of a retinal information scan, or RIS) and the incident. Police will arrive within seconds through an underground tunnel system (sort of like a hyperspeed roller coaster with protective tubes that you travel in), and take the person in question to jail, where their punishment, which will actually be the uniform punishment system, will be to sit in a room for 48 hours, where they will have nothing but bread and water, and be forced to watch all 12 Seasons of the early 21st century version of ABC’s “Wife Swap”.
About half of our guys small group – along with wives/girlfriends, gathered together on July 3rd to celebrate the Glorious Revolution from England with hot dogs, chips, beans, beer, rum, paint-by-water gun fights, master pyrotechnics provided by Chris the Exploder, and the general defilement of the British flag. Here is a small taste of the celebration:
For more of the fun, more of the defilement, and more of the general joy we experienced at the memory of our forefathers battling it out with the Queen’s men over 200 years ago, you can check out even more pictures by going to this Picture Trail album link:
My favorite memory of Michael Jackson is watching the HBO Live Concert special back in 1996 in my dormroom at college with my roomate, Buddha. It was the first time I had seen any live footage of any of his concerts. 2 hours long from Bucharest. Amazing. He closed the concert with an absolutely amazing, energetic, inspiring singing of “Man in the Mirror”. Take a look.
The concert ends with one of the coolest things I had ever seen in my life. I didn’t learn until years later that it was actually a stunt man (pretty good illusion though). At the time, it simply rocked my world and confirmed to me that Michael Jackson was and always will be the best musical performer on the face of the earth. Here it is…
My 2nd favorite Michael Jackson song….one that many people are not familiar with. Of the 15 or so times I’ve lost my voice in the car singing along with his stuff, about half of those have been because of this song. Enjoy.
What about sunrise, What about rain
What about all the things, That you said we were to gain.. .
What about killing fields, Is there a time
What about all the things, That you said was yours and mine…
Did you ever stop to notice, All the blood we’ve shed before
Did you ever stop to notice, The crying Earth the weeping shores?
Aaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaah
What have we done to the world, Look what we’ve done
What about all the peace, That you pledge your only son…
What about flowering fields, Is there a time
What about all the dreams, That you said was yours and mine…
Did you ever stop to notice, All the children dead from war
Did you ever stop to notice, The crying Earth the weeping shores
Aaaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaah
I used to dream, I used to glance beyond the stars
Now I don’t know where we are, Although I know we’ve drifted far
Aaaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaaah
Hey, what about yesterday (What about us)
What about the seas (What about us)
The heavens are falling down (What about us)
I can’t even breathe (What about us)
What about the bleeding Earth (What about us)
Can’t we feel its wounds (What about us)
What about nature’s worth (ooo,ooo)
It’s our planet’s womb (What about us)
What about animals (What about it)
We’ve turned kingdoms to dust (What about us)
What about elephants (What about us)
Have we lost their trust (What about us)
What about crying whales (What about us)
We’re ravaging the seas (What about us)
What about forest trails (ooo, ooo)
Burnt despite our pleas (What about us)
What about the holy land (What about it)
Torn apart by creed (What about us)
What about the common man (What about us)
Can’t we set him free (What about us)
What about children dying (What about us)
Can’t you hear them cry (What about us)
Where did we go wrong (ooo, ooo)
Someone tell me why (What about us)
What about babies (What about it)
What about the days (What about us)
What about all their joy (What about us)
What about the man (What about us)
What about the crying man (What about us)
What about Abraham (What was us)
What about death again (ooo, ooo)
Do we give a damn
I was pretty much hooked on MJ back around 1983 when I saw my parents Thriller album and the picture of Michael with his pet tiger. Probably the coolest thing I’d seen. The only other vinyl album I remember at home at that time was one of John Denver….totally not cool in comparison.
I have a cousin named Dianna. She’s a year older than me and we’ve been great friends our whole life. We had a lot of funny moments in the months/years after the song “Dirty Diana” came out on the Bad album. It was always funny sing because she was one of the most kind, gentle, sweet, and not-dirty people you could ever know.
I’ve lost my voice many, many times over the last 15 years or so from singing along with Michael Jackson songs in my car. My voice seems to forget that his is about 4 octives higher. It doesn’t care. It must sing along. And it must sing with the same intensity.
In fact, my favorite thing about MJ, probably the main reason I’ve been a fan of his music, is his intensity. Heck, I don’t even know the lyrics to many of my Top 15 songs I posted about. I’ve always found it more fun to sing along with him when I didn’t know all the words. Ask me about this sometime, and I’ll perform for you to show you what I mean. But his intensity is unmatched. I’ve always felt like most of his grunts and screams basically stem from that….he’s so into the music, so into the song, that he can’t help but to scream. It’s one of the main reasons his concerts were always so phenomenal….the dude gave everything he had at every show, the crying, the sweating, the energy. The crowd felt like he had given them every ounce of what he had in him to make that concert great.
I was totally stoked when Invincible came out, because I had thought for a couple of years that he was probably done. I remember sitting in the Mitsubishi car dealership where I worked at in 2001, singing along with “You Rock My World” with my sales manager.
A few years ago, I performed “The Way You Make Me Feel” at Big Mama’s Karaoke Cafe in Seymour, TN, just south of Knoxville. Grunts, screams, dance moves and all.
One of his more popular songs – “Black or White” – is probably one of my least favorites.
It always amazed me how a person so soft, quiet, gentle, and boyish during interviews could turn into an angry, confident, energetic dancing maniac on stage.
Shocking fact – I don’t actually own the Thriller album. Almost every song from that album is on Disc 1 of the His-tory album, so I never bought it. Probably the only song from Thriller that’s not on the His-tory album that I actually want is “PYT” (Pretty Young Thing).
When I was a kid, the evil guy’s voice on the song “Thriller” used to really freak me out.
A few days ago, I wrote that I was getting very tired of intolerance.
Another example. Just this weekend, during a gathering of several families at a local Knoxville park on the river, someone’s 3 year old boy wandered off and ended up drowning in the river. He was found by rescue divers about 2 hours after the parents noticed he was missing.
Terrible. Tragic. I think that’s the 3rd or 4th toddler aged child that has died in Knoxville in the past few months from drowning or other tragic means. It breaks my heart to read about these things.
On the local newsstation website, the moderator ended up having to delete many comments from viewers that basically trashed the parents for not watching their child more closely. Angrily blaming them for the death.
One commenter asked God in heaven to please welcome his new angel and look over his family. A nice sentiment, right.
Another commenter, in response, writes, “Sorry, but a human can not ever become an angel. Saved perhaps, a saint once in a while, but never an angel. Angels are a totally different type of creature that were invented separately and before man.”
WHO CARES! ARE YOU SERIOUS! These types of things exemplify the intolerance that has just angered me recently. A child dies, hundreds of people are in shock and terrible mourning, and many of our local residents respond by trashing the parents and taking a moment to remind us that the lost child is actually not an angel.
I can’t possibly put all my Michael Jackson thoughts into one post. I could, but you’d probably get tired of reading. So I’m breaking it up into parts.
Part 1 – my favorite songs. I couldn’t figure out how to narrow it down to 10, so I conceded to 15. So, here are my 15 favorite Michael Jackson songs, in order from 15 to 1. Feel free to critique.
15. Off the Wall (Off the Wall) – amazing bass line!
14. Wanna Be Startin Somethin (Thriller) – what a fun song … to this day, I still don’t know why he says, “you’re a vegetable” about 4 times.
13. Is it Scary (Blood on the Dance Floor) – a very intense song, basically asking whether or not you get scared when you look at him. Probably his least popular selling album, so you may not have heard this one.
12. Get on the Floor (Off the Wall) – another amazing bass line. This might be the easiest upbeat song every written to sway back and forth to if you’re not a great dancer. Not that I’m not a good dancer. I am really. Club style dancing though, not line or waltz or swing. And there’s a great part toward the end of the song where he’s basically grunting, “shic a bope a ba, schic a bope a ba”. It’s so cool.
11. Stranger In Moscow (History, Disc 2) – you’re going to see a few songs from this disc on my list, please tell me you’ve listened to them before! A slow, almost creepy sounding song about his experience of being in Moscow.
10. Remember the Time (Dangerous) – known by many because it was a theme song/video to the Eddie Murphy movie, “Coming to America”. Another song with great grunting sounds.
9. Break of Dawn (Invincible) – chorus line – “and we’ve got to make sweet love until the break of dawn”. Come on, how can you not love that? Great song off his final album. Very smooth beat and great vocals on this one.
8. The Girl is Mine (Thriller) – awesome song featuring Paul McCartney. How many times have you heard the line “I’m a lover, not a fighter” used? This song is why. Nuff said.
7. You Rock My World (Invincible) – his last hit single. Really catchy chorus.
6. Keep the Faith (Dangerous) – a very gospel choir type of song. Inspirational, as the title would suggest, with a GREAT build toward the end of the song.
5. Billie Jean (Thriller) – considered one of the greatest songs ever written, and the video is infamous. Great story line, easy to sing, and anyone who hears the amazing bass line at the beginning immediately knows what song it is.
4. Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough (Off the Wall) – I totally love the quiet dialogue that builds into a very tense but hushed scream to start the song. Grew to love this song more when I heard a bonus track of Michael and his brothers/sisters playing pots, pans, and random percussion instruments in a living room to lay down the original demo for this song. It’s crazy good.
3. Scream (History, Disc 2) – incredible song, GREAT video. If you’ll remember, this was a duet of sorts with sister Janet. Again, the intensity is what I love about it.
2. Earth Song (History, Disc 2) – unfortunately, not many people are familiar with this song, but it’s an amazing, nearly 7 minute long song where he cries out about how we’re mistreating the earth.
1. Man in the Mirror (Bad) – I have every grunt and scream memorized on this one, along with the words. Ask me. I’ll perform it for you on the spot. I’ll tell more stories about this one next week.
About 3 weeks ago we visited Athens, TN for their annual Moo-Fest – a day long downtown festival sponsored by Mayfield Dairy Farms. Food, games, animals, lots of cheese and milk, and a tour of the Mayfield plant are all part of the festivities. It was pretty fun. We had a hard time pulling Eli away from the hoola hoop area:
And, best of all, I snapped a picture of a redneck guy with plumber pants getting a $10.00 chair massage from a street vendor!
Two Sundays ago, I was honored to be able to speak for about 15 minutes during the two Sunday services at Crossings, as part of a mini-series called MMIQ – My Most Important Question. We did this last summer as well, with 6 different people sharing over two weeks. Same this year. It was very tough, very emotional, but I’m so thankful to have been able to share openly with our community. It was really the first time ever since my legal problems started 9 years ago that I’ve given any sort of public testimony of any kind. I didn’t go into a lot of detail about the things I did, but really talked more about how the Crossings community has truly changed my life and made it possible for me & my family to experience true community, when I had thought that might not ever be possible again.
I want to say thank you to so many people who hugged me, cried with me, and encouraged me after each service (many of you are readers, so thank you, thank you, thank you). I was a little scared to share some of my experiences, and was not sure what to expect in response. I couldn’t have been more blessed, encouraged, and loved. It simply reinforced what this community is all about. Amazing.
Finally, this past weekend, I had the opportunity to see my college roomate for the first time in over 8 years! Andy (I’ve called him Buddha since our freshman year – long story – but that’s what all our friends called him all through college), his wife Jen, and their oldest daughter Oliviah were in Florida on vacation this past week, and were driving back through Knoxville on their way back home. They stopped by Saturday afternoon, spent the night with us, came to Crossings, and headed back out Sunday afternoon for a drive home to Indiana. It was so incredible to see my friend again after so long. We were roomates for 3 1/2 of our 4 years of school and recounted so many great times, stories, and pictures. He’s now the father of 4 great kids, and is a riot squad leader at a maximum security prison in Indiana. I’m thrilled they are doing well, and can’t wait til we get together again….hopefully sooner than 8 years from now.
Intolerance. Especially intolerance among Christians. On my I-Google homepage, I have links to local news articles from a Knoxville area TV station. I often cringe when reading the public comments in response to certain articles. It’s like area Christians are using the comments forum as their own hell-fire-brimstone platforms, and it’s sickening.
I’m not thrilled to have gone through some things I’ve gone through in my life. But some of my experiences have taught me that people are truly flawed. All people. ALL people. Some hide it better than others. Some resist better than others. Some just don’t give a damn. But, ultimately, we are all damaged goods who need the love of a Savior more than we could ever imagine. And we need it every second of every day, because for some of us, that’s about how often we sin. Instead, many in our world mistake intolerance for tough love, taking pride in the fact that they might sin just a little less than the next guy.
We’ve got to walk through life with a perspective – a world view if you prefer – that allows us to see ourselves for who/where/what we truly are. A miniscule fish in an infinitely large ocean, who somehow is still known and loved and pursued by the God who created both the fish and the ocean. Our lives are important, but no more important or meaningful than the lives of our neighbors. All sin. All do wrong. All will continue to do wrong. Jesus helped make our goal in life so easy for us – Love God, and love others. Can it be that simple, yet be so difficult? Apparently so.
Greedy Monsters. I’m reading John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath” for the first time since high school. (I miss the half pint milk cartons) Early in the book, there’s an amazing dialogue between the owner’s of the land, and the tenants (squatters) who work the land. Basically, the owner’s need the squatters to move, because they’re not profitable and are behind on their loans. The owner’s, in order to deflect their guilt and ignore their sympathies, place all the blame on these actions on the monster…the bank.
“You see, a bank or a company can’t do that (just eat off the land), because those creatures don’t breathe air, don’t eat side-meat. They breathe profits; they eat the interest on money. If they don’t get it, they die the way you die without air, without side-meat. It is a sad thing, but it is so. It is just so……….The bank, the monster, has to have profits all the time. It can’t wait. It’ll die. No, taxes go on. When the monster stops growing, it dies. It can’t stay one size.”
Later, the owner says, “We’re sorry. It’s not us. It’s the monster. The bank isn’t like a man.”
The squatter/tenant replies, “Yes, but the bank is only made of men”
“No, you’re wrong there – quite wrong there. The bank is something else than men. It happens that every man in a bank hates what the bank does, and yet the bank does it. The bank is something more than men, I tell you. It’s the monster. Men made it, but they can’t control it.”
This was written over 65 years ago, but is still so true. Men made the monster, but they can’t control it. I’m tired of the monster of government, of big business, of if-you’re-not-growing-you’re-dying economics. It’s crap. I’m tired of paying the monster, depending on the monster, and even (to some extent) working for the monster. This business attitude has destroyed much of our national camaraderie, the notion that we’re all striving for a better life. Too many people now feel like there are simply the rich people, and the poor people, and that’s just the way it’s gonna be, brother. And the gap continues to broaden, to divide. What’s so bad about a business taking care of the needs of its community, making a reasonable profit so that those who own it and work it can make a good living, and that being the extent of it? Does it always have to grow, make more money, and conquer the competition? Can’t it just provide a service to people and take pride in doing so?
First…..We’re partnering with McAlister’s Deli (we do all their uniform apparel for all their restaurants nationwide) on a new charity-driven site. McAlister’s is a major contributer to Share Our Strength – an organization who’s one goal is to see that no kid in America goes hungry.
We’ve just gone live with a new site – WWW.TEAFREAKSTSHIRT.COM – that allows anyone who loves McAlister’s sweet tea (and don’t we all?) to buy a brand new “Tea Freaks” t-shirt. The site will stay up for about 3 months, and ALL proceeds from sale of the shirts will go directly to Share Our Strength.
(ps – you didn’t hear this from me, but if you order a shirt, you also get a coupon in your order for a free cookie at McAlister’s Deli)
Second….we recently designed a series of new UT Football t-shirt designs that the general public got to vote on at UTsports.com. Here is the winning shirt. Over the next couple of months, we anticipate printing about 30,000 of these and they’ll be available for purchase at area retailers, and pretty much any store that you can normally find UT apparel at. They’ll also be available at just about every single 107.7 FM WIVK remote over the next few weeks – staffed by part time college agers with Threds.
I’m not the biggest UT or Lane Kiffin fan….but it’s still a pretty sweet shirt, huh?
and no post. That’s nearly a record for me. Sorry. I’ve been totally slammed at work….and I only blog at work since we do not own a computer of our own at home.
Played golf 4 times in the last month. It had been 2 years since I played. The only reason I am now is because I saved up money for a little golfing weekend with an old friend last month, and he ended up having to cancel two days before the trip. But we’ve rescheduled for later this summer, so I’m going to have to stop playing again or else I won’t have the cash to go play then. Golf sucks. And is also the most amazing pasttime I’ve ever known.
Is there a blog application that would allow readers to donate to my personal golf fund?
Erin and I watched the entire 4th season of Weeds in 3 days. I’ve said this before, but I’m loving watching tv shows on DVD. And Weeds is one of the best ever. Now it totally sucks that we’ll have to wait several months before the 5th season is released. Hopefully the 3rd season of Dexter will be out soon. I can’t wait to see who he kills next!
Starting reading George Orwell’s “Animal Farm” last night. The last time I read it was in high school, and I’d completely forgotten everything about it. I probably read 1/3 of it last night, and would have loved to have kept going, but was just too tired. When I’m finished with it, I’m moving on to John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath”, which I also last read in high school. Again, I’ve completely forgotten it and only remember having liked it the first time (much like my first kiss, the last time I had homemade mango juice in Barbados, and playing Frogger).
We have a tiny area in front of our town house to plant things. I mean, probably not much bigger than my office desk tiny. For 4 years a thorny bush was there. We inherited this. I finally dug it out and went to find seeds to plant with Eli. He chose Zucchini. I did not know at the time that zucchini plants are freakish – they grow like crazy and produce more zucchini than you can possibly eat. We only planted these 4 weeks ago and they are now overtaking our planting area!
No worries though, they won’t be an eyesore. Because last week, just in front of the zucchini plants, I planted a row of mammoth sunflowers, which can grow to a height of 12 feet in just 2 months time! That will rock.
Bought Beck’s “Odelay” album at McKay’s this weekend. It’s from 1996. Totally freaking love it.
Do you live in Knoxville? Have you ever eaten lunch at Wright’s Cafeteria on Middlebrook Pike? No? YOU MUST GO. The best sweet tea I’ve ever had in my life. Peace out.
About 18 months ago, after our guys small group had been meeting for about 6 months, had grown in numbers just a little, and were starting to gel, we kept having conversations each week about how we wanted to serve more consistently, both as individuals and as a small group. We wanted to be involved with helping people. Problem was, we just didn’t know how, and we didn’t want to just default to serving meals because that seemed like something lots of people were doing already.
Having been a part of my guys small group now for over 2 years, I sometimes find myself feeling bad for churches that try to do small groups, and it just doesn’t work. I don’t even really know who these churches are, I just know they’re out there.
I’ll tonight work from six until eight
I saw my parents Thriller album and the picture of Michael with his pet tiger. Probably the coolest thing I’d seen. The only other vinyl album I remember at home at that time was one of John Denver….totally not cool in comparison.
I can’t possibly put all my Michael Jackson thoughts into one post. I could, but you’d probably get tired of reading. So I’m breaking it up into parts.
First…..We’re partnering with McAlister’s Deli (we do all their uniform apparel for all their restaurants nationwide) on a new charity-driven site. McAlister’s is a major contributer to Share Our Strength – an organization who’s one goal is to see that no kid in America goes hungry.
