Creating Moments

Having been a part of my guys small group now for over 2 years, I sometimes find myself feeling bad for churches that try to do small groups, and it just doesn’t work.  I don’t even really know who these churches are, I just know they’re out there.

Coming from a fairly traditional church background, up until just a few years ago, I can totally understand how small groups just don’t work in many places.  It’s hard to describe, but not so hard to understand.

At the same time, it’s hard to describe exactly why they DO work at Crossings.  Granted, not every small group is always flourishing.  Some have growing pains.  Others end.  Still others have consistency issues.  But, as a whole, our small groups are thriving and are truly providing the life blood of our church.

Because each group is different, does different things, and are led by different personalities, I can really only explain MY view as to what makes a small group work.  How do you build community among people who may not know each other?  How do generate a spirit of loyalty and camraderie?  How do build a small group for the long term?

For me, it’s by CREATING MOMENTS.  What do I mean?  Think back to your youth group (if you were in one).  Do you remember the lessons or what you prayed about?  I don’t, and you probably don’t either.  But do you remember the mission trip, the CIY conference, the service project you did in the cold of winter, or the crazy experiences on the church van?  I do.

Think back to high school.  Do you remember any individual class session or a conversation with a friend?  Probably not.  But do you remember your prom, going to the state competition in something, participating in a special event, or your graduation party?  I do.

Are you a parent?  Think back on your child’s first year.  Do you remember much about individual days or moments spent with your child?  Probably not.  But do you remember the birth?  The first time they smiled or crawled?  Their first birthday party?  I do.

So now, I think back on my small group.  We’ve studied about 15 books of the Bible, spent hours in prayer for one another, eaten lots of great snacks, and spent time talking about our weeks and what’s going on in our lives.  Do I remember much of that over the course of 2 years?  A little bit, but not much.

But what do I remember?  …….  our very first awkward small group meeting at Scott’s apartment, helping the Restoration House with a work project, laughing our asses off at IHOP, going to see The Dark Knight, helping people in our community move to new places, welcoming Mark to our small group with a customized banner, spontaneously deciding one night to go see midget wrestling, only to end up at Sundown in the City, celebrating the glorious revolution from England together, going camping on a wet and rainy weekend, gangsta posing with the BVD, leaving a stack of potted meat cans on one guys doorstep, going to see our new friend in the hospital after he had a wreck, then helping him move to a new apartment a week later, pissething on the wall, going tubing on the Pigeon River, going to see our buddy’s band perform, volunteering at Prom of the Stars, watching a guy in our small group get baptized.

For me, this is what makes our small group great.  Clearly, we are grounded in seeking Christ together, studying His Word, and praying for each other.  But what has made it last, what has built true friendship and loyalty and a spirit of togetherness, has been creating moments.  Moments that build, that serve, and that endure.  To me, without these, we are basically a Sunday School class that meets on Thursday.  But by creating moments, we become a small group.

Death to TV

This is something I share with people often.  I do it because I like to sound frugal, and because it helps me seem like a person who has his priorities straight in the world.  I also share it out of arrogance, because it somehow helps me feel better than those to whom I am sharing.  Yes, I recognize these things, yet I do it anyway.

You’re asking…What is it you share?  I’m so glad you asked, because that way it makes it much easier for me to project my false morals on you.

The statement:  In my entire life, the only time I’ve ever had cable TV was during my 4 years of college. Yep.  Truth.  33 years old, and I’ve enjoyed cable TV for only 4 years of it.

Growing up, we had the huge outdoor antenna that usually sometimes got us the big 4 or 5 stations out of Louisville, KY.  Usually.  College – cable.  Enjoyed it.  The early years of Sports Center with Dan Patrick and Keith Olberman, movie reruns on TBS and USA, getting to watch the Bulls play more than 3 times  a year.

Ever since – no cable.  At least, not REAL cable.  For several years, I simply used an amplified tv antenna that normally got 4 or 5 stations.  For about 5 years now, we’ve had the “basic cable” package, which gets us anywhere from 6 – 9 watchable stations and cost us about $15.00 a month.

** Watchable stations do not include QVC, the local Knoxville brainwashed preaching programs, or the 24 hour a day local community news feed that updates me on things like Parents Night Out at Rockwell Baptist Church and Free Gummy Bear Day at Ace Hardware Store.

Now, if we really wanted to, we could scrounge up some money and afford regular cable.  We would need to cancel our monthly Blockbuster Online account, but it would be doable.  But here’s my issue….why give myself even MORE opportunity to watch TV, when I already watch more than necessary already?

Lately, we haven’t even really watched a ton of  TV.  We always watch The Office and 30 Rock, but everything else is hit or miss.  I watch sports occasionally on Saturday or Sunday, but rarely more than a couple of hours, and I rarely if ever watch an entire game of any sport from beginning to end.

We still use Blockbuster Online, but more sparingly than in the past.  It seems as though we’ve finally watched about every movie we would ever want to see, and most new releases just don’t pique our interest as much.  We keep Blockbuster Online mainly for the TV series that are sometimes harder to find in the stores.  Just this week we finished Season 3 of Dexter (amazing!).  And it’s cool to have access to older movies online that the stores don’t stock, like Cool Hand Luke or Chinatown.  One of which I haven’t watched yet, and one of which I didn’t really like.  That doesn’t matter though.  What matters is they are available.

But again.  Why do we need more TV?  We typically only have about 2 hours of actually family time together in the evenings before it’s time for Eli to go to bed.  On the weekends we go to church, grocery shop, run errands, and try to do something fun every once in a while.  I’m older now, so I typically go to bed around 10:30 instead of midnight.

Why do we need more TV?  Most shows are set up now so that you MUST watch every week to know what’s going on.  If you miss a week, you’ve got to catch it on Hulu before it’s too late.  We have no DVR, so we can’t just set up to record everything we like.  And why would we?  So we can send Eli to bed even earlier, and veg out even more on the weekends, just to get caught back up on How I Met Your Mother or Parks and Recreation?

No, I say.  Not more TV.  Less TV.  Admission – the pull is still there.  I want ESPN so bad I want to cry sometimes.  But I also know that 1 hour of Sports Center just doesn’t suffice.  For some reason, it’s necessary to watch it 3 times in a row, just to see if they deliver their lines differently the second or third time around.  So I fight the urge.  I fight Erin’s urge.  I fight Eli’s urge (Disney, Nick, Cartoon Network).  And we suffer through life with basic channels, an analog VCR for recording purposes, and Blockbuster Online for everything else.

And in some ridiculous and warped way, in my mind, that makes me seem better than you.  Unless of course you don’t have a TV at all.  Which simply makes you strange and out of touch.  =)

The Old Testament Blues

I don’t quite understand how to read the Old Testament.  Do I read it for historical purposes, to understand the lineage of Jesus?  Do I read it for life application, comparing my life to the up and downs of the Israelites, realizing that I stray and turn my back on God as often as they did?  Do I read it just to get an understanding of how bad things were, and why we needed a Savior?

Example.  We just studied the 10 Plagues in Exodus at small group last week.  We doing some studies of the Essential 100, and that’s just where we are at.

Now, the plagues are an amazing story, just in terms of story value.  Makes for an amazing movie.  Shows the power of God in a frightening way.  The things that happened are unfathomable and so epic that we could never understand their affect.

But I don’t really understand what to take from reading about the plagues.  In fact, it makes me shake my head about God maybe more than anything else in the OT.  The plagues were cruel, terrible, sort of over-the-top punishment rained upon an entire nation or people group.  It’s hard for me to be believe that ALL the Egyptians were deserving of this punishment, that many of them were simply suffering because of the hard heart of the Pharoah.  Their water supply was ruined, their land turned to filthy, odorous ruins, their livestock obliterated, and thousands of firstborn children killed.  Sure, the end game was to make it possible for Moses to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt and off to their own lands.  But was all that really necessary?  In fact, the flood makes more sense to me than the plagues.

Over the last 2 years in small group, we’ve studied Genesis, some of Exodus, and most of the minor prophets.  And I’ve continued this struggle of knowing how to read these books and what to gain from them.  I’ve struggled with the fact that so much is missing, chunks of time go by in a story and you have no idea what happened during those times.  Sometimes God is a provider, sometimes full of wrath, sometimes elusive, and sometimes is even coaxed by a prophet to change His mind about something.

So many Old Testament laws and practices no longer apply and were really abolished by the new covenant.  The person of Jesus made so many OT laws seem ridiculous (an eye for an eye).  So, why read parts of Exodus or Deuteronomy or Leviticus where so many of these laws are laid out, which no longer mean anything to me, and only serve to make me more confused?

So.  How do you read the Old Testament?  What do you gain from it in personal life application?  Do you get as confused as I do?  Do you read it just as a surface story, or do you like to dig deeper into the meanings, the culture, the background?  Ultimately, I know it’s important for me to read these books of Scripture, I’d just like to figure out the best reason why.

By The Way…

Gotcha.

Go ahead and hit yourself in the arm for me.  Suckaaa!!

Come On In, The Water’s Fine!

For me, one of the nice things about growing older – both in age and in my faith – has been the opportunity to wrestle with faith questions in my life.  Over the years, one of the most important of these questions has been the role of baptism in salvation.

Background – I grew up in a church tradition, and went to a Christian college, that both viewed and taught baptism as being a necessary, final step to being saved.  There was a specific salvation process – you believe, you repent, you confess, and you are baptized.  All four of these steps were necessary, and the omission of any, at the very least, put your salvation at risk.  It was looked at sort of like changing the tire on your car, but forgetting to tighten the lug nuts on the spare.  Yeah, the tire is there, but it’s probably going to fall off as soon as your drive away.  Then you wreck and die.

I had often questioned this view of baptism, but had neither the depth of faith nor the moxy to dig into it further.  I had asked myself questions like, “If you saved a person in the deserts of Africa, and the nearest “dunkable” water source was 5 miles away, and this person simply could not make it to the water source, would they really die and go to hell?”  Scriptural references aside, this simply did not make sense to me.  It was contrary to the loving and relational nature of God.

A turning point began for me around 1997, when I heard Bob Russell, senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Ky, do a sermon series on these 4 steps of salvation.  Long story short, he spoke of baptism in this way…..baptism isn’t necessarily required for salvation, but it is required for the “assurance” of salvation.  God is not a legalistic God, so it’s not in his nature to make us do things to earn his love.  But read the New Testament, especially Acts – Jesus was baptized, and everyone who came to know and believe in Christ was baptized.  If it was good enough for Jesus and the first Christians, shouldn’t we naturally follow that example?

This made sense.  It left open the possibility that a person was saved upon belief and repentance, even if they couldn’t immediately get to a baptistry, creek, or lake.  It helped me see baptism as a celebration of salavation, rather than the final exam.  Since that time, I’ve viewed baptism as a wedding ceremony to Christ….when you fall in love and commit your life to your future spouse, you don’t have to just run out and immediately get married.  At the same time, it’s not necessary to have a full blown wedding with 100’s of people and a fancy ceremony.  Yet couples like to do this, because it’s a celebration.  It’s a way to celebrate their love with others, to make it public, to create a memory that will last forever.

You don’t have to get baptized immediately….accordingly, nor should you wait 2 years to do it.  You can be baptized in front of 2 people or 10,000.  The point is, it’s a celebration of your love for Christ.  It’s your wedding to him.  Maybe – MAYBE – you don’t have to marry Christ.  Maybe God’s love reaches wide and long enough to hold you in, even if you ignore this important step.

But why would you?  Why ignore the example of Christ and the early believers?  Why explain away its importance?  Why sprinkle when Christ was immersed?  Why baptize babies when people in the Scriptures made this decision on their own?  Why roll the dice and take the chance?  In this way, baptism as the “assurance” of salvation has always made great sense to me.

Yesterday, we had another Crossings baptism celebration.  As always, it was great.  At Crossings, we have baptism celebrations every 3-5 months.  In most cases in our community, new believers in Christ are not baptized immediately.  I have old friends who would have a great deal of issue with this, so much so that they would probably not attend our church because of it.  I can understand this, I just don’t agree with it.  You just can’t imagine how special it is when we plan these celebrations, invite the entire community, have dozens – even hundreds – of people show up, and all celebrate wildly together when each person is raised from the water.  As a result, our baptisms are less of a hurried requirement (and even sometimes annoying to those who are ready to leave church and get to lunch before the crowd arrives)….and more of an anticipated party.

I’m so grateful for the depth of God’s love.  And I’m thankful that the waters of baptism are not a hoop, a jump rope, a high bar, or a 3 point line.  Rather, they are 2 open arms, a kiss on the cheek, a thousand hugs, and enough “woo hoo’s!” to last a lifetime.