About 18 months ago, after our guys small group had been meeting for about 6 months, had grown in numbers just a little, and were starting to gel, we kept having conversations each week about how we wanted to serve more consistently, both as individuals and as a small group.  We wanted to be involved with helping people.  Problem was, we just didn’t know how, and we didn’t want to just default to serving meals because that seemed like something lots of people were doing already.

Over the last 18 months, God took it upon Himself to figure this out for us.  He has effectively placed in our path NINE (9) opportunities to help someone either in our small group, or in the Crossings community, move from one home to another.  We are now, as we like to call it, the Moving Crew.

Two of these opportunities have come in the last two weeks.  Last Thursday night, about 9 of us helped a single female in another small group move from one apartment to another.  The ENTIRE move, beginning to end, took about 50 minutes.  That’s what happens when you have a reasonably small amount of furniture to move, 9 guys, and a 20-foot box truck that Threds lets me use.

Then, last night, another move.  We were excited to help Kristin, a great friend and a super-awesome person, in her move as a first-time home owner!  (Refer to picture…not pictured is China Matt, who I think must have been using the bathroom while this was being taken.  Sorry man.) She had significantly more stuff.  But again, with 10 guys, a 20-foot Threds box truck, and 2 other pickup trucks, the entire move took about 2 hours.  Then we were treated to home cooked BBQ, chips, brownies, and sweet tea!

It can be hard work.  It can be frustrating.  But it’s so amazing to get to step into the lives of people in our community and help them in a tangible way, in what is usually a sort of overwhelming time.  I’m so thankful God heard our conversations and prayers, and helped us find a way to serve.

In fact, our small group is so pumped up about our ministry, we’ve taken the obvious next step.  We’re getting t-shirts!  =)

Having been a part of my guys small group now for over 2 years, I sometimes find myself feeling bad for churches that try to do small groups, and it just doesn’t work.  I don’t even really know who these churches are, I just know they’re out there.

Coming from a fairly traditional church background, up until just a few years ago, I can totally understand how small groups just don’t work in many places.  It’s hard to describe, but not so hard to understand.

At the same time, it’s hard to describe exactly why they DO work at Crossings.  Granted, not every small group is always flourishing.  Some have growing pains.  Others end.  Still others have consistency issues.  But, as a whole, our small groups are thriving and are truly providing the life blood of our church.

Because each group is different, does different things, and are led by different personalities, I can really only explain MY view as to what makes a small group work.  How do you build community among people who may not know each other?  How do generate a spirit of loyalty and camraderie?  How do build a small group for the long term?

For me, it’s by CREATING MOMENTS.  What do I mean?  Think back to your youth group (if you were in one).  Do you remember the lessons or what you prayed about?  I don’t, and you probably don’t either.  But do you remember the mission trip, the CIY conference, the service project you did in the cold of winter, or the crazy experiences on the church van?  I do.

Think back to high school.  Do you remember any individual class session or a conversation with a friend?  Probably not.  But do you remember your prom, going to the state competition in something, participating in a special event, or your graduation party?  I do.

Are you a parent?  Think back on your child’s first year.  Do you remember much about individual days or moments spent with your child?  Probably not.  But do you remember the birth?  The first time they smiled or crawled?  Their first birthday party?  I do.

So now, I think back on my small group.  We’ve studied about 15 books of the Bible, spent hours in prayer for one another, eaten lots of great snacks, and spent time talking about our weeks and what’s going on in our lives.  Do I remember much of that over the course of 2 years?  A little bit, but not much.

But what do I remember?  …….  our very first awkward small group meeting at Scott’s apartment, helping the Restoration House with a work project, laughing our asses off at IHOP, going to see The Dark Knight, helping people in our community move to new places, welcoming Mark to our small group with a customized banner, spontaneously deciding one night to go see midget wrestling, only to end up at Sundown in the City, celebrating the glorious revolution from England together, going camping on a wet and rainy weekend, gangsta posing with the BVD, leaving a stack of potted meat cans on one guys doorstep, going to see our new friend in the hospital after he had a wreck, then helping him move to a new apartment a week later, pissething on the wall, going tubing on the Pigeon River, going to see our buddy’s band perform, volunteering at Prom of the Stars, watching a guy in our small group get baptized.

For me, this is what makes our small group great.  Clearly, we are grounded in seeking Christ together, studying His Word, and praying for each other.  But what has made it last, what has built true friendship and loyalty and a spirit of togetherness, has been creating moments.  Moments that build, that serve, and that endure.  To me, without these, we are basically a Sunday School class that meets on Thursday.  But by creating moments, we become a small group.

For me, one of the nice things about growing older – both in age and in my faith – has been the opportunity to wrestle with faith questions in my life.  Over the years, one of the most important of these questions has been the role of baptism in salvation.

Background – I grew up in a church tradition, and went to a Christian college, that both viewed and taught baptism as being a necessary, final step to being saved.  There was a specific salvation process – you believe, you repent, you confess, and you are baptized.  All four of these steps were necessary, and the omission of any, at the very least, put your salvation at risk.  It was looked at sort of like changing the tire on your car, but forgetting to tighten the lug nuts on the spare.  Yeah, the tire is there, but it’s probably going to fall off as soon as your drive away.  Then you wreck and die.

I had often questioned this view of baptism, but had neither the depth of faith nor the moxy to dig into it further.  I had asked myself questions like, “If you saved a person in the deserts of Africa, and the nearest “dunkable” water source was 5 miles away, and this person simply could not make it to the water source, would they really die and go to hell?”  Scriptural references aside, this simply did not make sense to me.  It was contrary to the loving and relational nature of God.

A turning point began for me around 1997, when I heard Bob Russell, senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Ky, do a sermon series on these 4 steps of salvation.  Long story short, he spoke of baptism in this way…..baptism isn’t necessarily required for salvation, but it is required for the “assurance” of salvation.  God is not a legalistic God, so it’s not in his nature to make us do things to earn his love.  But read the New Testament, especially Acts – Jesus was baptized, and everyone who came to know and believe in Christ was baptized.  If it was good enough for Jesus and the first Christians, shouldn’t we naturally follow that example?

This made sense.  It left open the possibility that a person was saved upon belief and repentance, even if they couldn’t immediately get to a baptistry, creek, or lake.  It helped me see baptism as a celebration of salavation, rather than the final exam.  Since that time, I’ve viewed baptism as a wedding ceremony to Christ….when you fall in love and commit your life to your future spouse, you don’t have to just run out and immediately get married.  At the same time, it’s not necessary to have a full blown wedding with 100’s of people and a fancy ceremony.  Yet couples like to do this, because it’s a celebration.  It’s a way to celebrate their love with others, to make it public, to create a memory that will last forever.

You don’t have to get baptized immediately….accordingly, nor should you wait 2 years to do it.  You can be baptized in front of 2 people or 10,000.  The point is, it’s a celebration of your love for Christ.  It’s your wedding to him.  Maybe – MAYBE – you don’t have to marry Christ.  Maybe God’s love reaches wide and long enough to hold you in, even if you ignore this important step.

But why would you?  Why ignore the example of Christ and the early believers?  Why explain away its importance?  Why sprinkle when Christ was immersed?  Why baptize babies when people in the Scriptures made this decision on their own?  Why roll the dice and take the chance?  In this way, baptism as the “assurance” of salvation has always made great sense to me.

Yesterday, we had another Crossings baptism celebration.  As always, it was great.  At Crossings, we have baptism celebrations every 3-5 months.  In most cases in our community, new believers in Christ are not baptized immediately.  I have old friends who would have a great deal of issue with this, so much so that they would probably not attend our church because of it.  I can understand this, I just don’t agree with it.  You just can’t imagine how special it is when we plan these celebrations, invite the entire community, have dozens – even hundreds – of people show up, and all celebrate wildly together when each person is raised from the water.  As a result, our baptisms are less of a hurried requirement (and even sometimes annoying to those who are ready to leave church and get to lunch before the crowd arrives)….and more of an anticipated party.

I’m so grateful for the depth of God’s love.  And I’m thankful that the waters of baptism are not a hoop, a jump rope, a high bar, or a 3 point line.  Rather, they are 2 open arms, a kiss on the cheek, a thousand hugs, and enough “woo hoo’s!” to last a lifetime.

A few good things to share…

About 3 weeks ago we visited Athens, TN for their annual Moo-Fest – a day long downtown festival sponsored by Mayfield Dairy Farms.  Food, games, animals, lots of cheese and milk, and a tour of the Mayfield plant are all part of the festivities.  It was pretty fun.  We had a hard time pulling Eli away from the hoola hoop area:

And, best of all, I snapped a picture of a redneck guy with plumber pants getting a $10.00 chair massage from a street vendor!

Two Sundays ago, I was honored to be able to speak for about 15 minutes during the two Sunday services at Crossings, as part of a mini-series called MMIQ – My Most Important Question.  We did this last summer as well, with 6 different people sharing over two weeks.  Same this year.  It was very tough, very emotional, but I’m so thankful to have been able to share openly with our community.  It was really the first time ever since my legal problems started 9 years ago that I’ve given any sort of public testimony of any kind.  I didn’t go into a lot of detail about the things I did, but really talked more about how the Crossings community has truly changed my life and made it possible for me & my family to experience true community, when I had thought that might not ever be possible again.

I want to say thank you to so many people who hugged me, cried with me, and encouraged me after each service (many of you are readers, so thank you, thank you, thank you).  I was a little scared to share some of my experiences, and was not sure what to expect in response.  I couldn’t have been more blessed, encouraged, and loved.  It simply reinforced what this community is all about.  Amazing.

Finally, this past weekend, I had the opportunity to see my college roomate for the first time in over 8 years!  Andy (I’ve called him Buddha since our freshman year – long story – but that’s what all our friends called him all through college), his wife Jen, and their oldest daughter Oliviah were in Florida on vacation this past week, and were driving back through Knoxville on their way back home.  They stopped by Saturday afternoon, spent the night with us, came to Crossings, and headed back out Sunday afternoon for a drive home to Indiana.  It was so incredible to see my friend again after so long.  We were roomates for 3 1/2 of our 4 years of school and recounted so many great times, stories, and pictures.  He’s now the father of 4 great kids, and is a riot squad leader at a maximum security prison in Indiana.  I’m thrilled they are doing well, and can’t wait til we get together again….hopefully sooner than 8 years from now.

Yes, this is just what it looks like.  A custom made 6′ x 2′ vinyl banner welcoming “Pastor Mark” to our small group.  Dotting the banner are the “deadly” words that you just don’t use at Crossings.  And yes, three guys are wearing wife beater shirts.  One is wearing daisy duke cut off shorts.  Two are wearing do-rags.  And one is wearing nothing but hiked up umbro shorts, goggles, a watch, and Old Spice.

And it was a great evening.  Lots of laughs.  Great discussion.  And the opportunity to help someone in our community move her stuff into storage later in the evening.

From L to R:  Andy (Grizz), Josh (Hut, Hut), Kurt (IJ), John (P3), Scott (Scott-O-San), Mark (Pastor), Me, Reid (The Roman God).  Not pictured, because of either work or showing up late:  Josh (A-Bomb), Chris (Gater), & Ryan (The Footballer).

At Crossings, we’ve already begun to jokingly refer to the fact that we love us some t-shirts.  It’s been cool on my part to be part of providing t-shirts for the community over the last 2 years.  In fact, I fully believe that t-shirts can help instill a sense of community … they commemorate moments or events, they help you feel connected.  It’s awesome showing up pretty much every Sunday morning and seeing at least a few people wearing a Crossings t-shirt of some kind.  Below is a recap of all the t-shirts we’ve produced thus far.  For each tee – the front of the shirt is on the left hand side, the back of the shirt is on the right hand side.

Here’s a brief description of each (from the top).  1 – Crossings Logo Tee – Crossings logo on the left chest with “HPFTWBTG” on the back (Helping People Find Their Way Back to God).  We’ve actually done two runs of these – some in black, some in charcoal, some in chocolate brown on a ladies cut tee.  We also printed the front logo on several hooded sweatshirts, which everone seems to have really loved.  Probably about 150 of these shirts and hoodies circulating.  2 – Crossing Baptism Tee – given to anyone who is baptized at Crossings as a commemorative shirt.  3 – The Tour of John’s Story Tee – we did about 300 of these last March at the end of a 20-something week long study of John.  They were free to anyone who wanted one.  4 – Production Tee – we gave these out to all the people who had actively served and sweated during the time we were at the theater, setting up and breaking down every morning.  We asked these awesome servants to come forward at the end of a service in January at 4MS to applaud their efforts and present their shirts.  5 – Pregnant Woman Tee – this was the one I did for my small group, and as a practical joke on Mark.  I posted about this roughly a month ago.  6 – Never Thwarted Tee – Like the John tee, this shirt commemorated a 20-something week study of the book of Genesis.  We took preorders for anyone who wanted one at a very low cost.  Both this and the John shirt are “concert style”, where the back of each shirt has the date, the passage studied, and the “big idea” for that week.  Similar to a concert tour layout.  (UPDATE)  Greg reminded me that I forgot the Balls Tee – Trevor, during a testimony last summer, basically said that his boss at work would sometimes tell him to “grow some balls”.  And he said it just like that.  Then realized his faux pax, then made fun of himself and had the whole place laughing.  So I made some Balls Tees and had them there early a couple of weeks later, so when Trevor showed up, about 12-15 of us were wearing these shirts.

Just about anything that can go wrong, technically speaking, seemed to go wrong yesterday at Crossings.  I can blog about this only because I’ve had time to calm down about it after 24 hours.  But yesterday I was fuming.

The Square Room has amazing equipment.  State of the art stuff, especially for a small venue.  Unfortunately, amazing also translates as complicated.  And most of us in the productions team simply don’t know enough about the stuff to fix it if something goes really wrong.

Around 7:30am yesterday, Stephanie realizes we’re not getting the computer and the video projectors to link up.  Long story short – about 3-4 of us spent the next 100 minutes trying to figure this out.  By 8:30, I realized we may need a back up plan.  We find our old projector downstairs, bring it up, but can’t get it to work right with our Dell computer.  At 9:10am, five minutes before the service, we have this huge blue screen projecting on the wall, trying to get the old projector to work, obviously making the community curious.

There are no words to project for the worship set in the first service.  Dustin and I are on the floor in the sound area trying to make the old projector work with Bill’s Macbook computer, just so we can project Mark’s teaching notes through power point.  We get this to work … sort of.  The color is off.  Everything projects as green.  Mark stalls at the beginning of the teaching so we can run cords and cables into the seating area, put the projector on a music stand, and project a crooked, green colored image onto the screen.  It doesn’t fit right, so the lens has to be shifted.  This keeps happening throughout the teaching.

At one point in Mark’s teaching, confetti randomly falls from the ceiling, out of nowhere.  We think it’s leftover confetti from the StarQueen show a couple of weeks ago, but we’re not sure.

There’s an important video at the end of the teaching.  We can’t show it.

First service ends.  In the next 20 minutes, we go find the other backup video projector that used to be used for Kids City.  It’s smaller and easier to use on a music stand.  I frantically type in all the worship lyrics into a power point file, finishing this literally 1 minute before the service needs to start.

The smaller projector is easier to use, and projects a more appropriate sized image on the screen.  But all the images and words are still green.  We figure out later this is due to a bad VGA cable.

All the while, Trevor is running sound this morning.  Trevor’s a great sound guy, but he had never run sound on his own since moving to The Square Room.  The board is vastly more complicated than our old one.  Our normal sound guy was not able to make it, so Trevor filled in.  Robert, who was supposed to play electric guitar, agreed to play bass about 45 minutes before the service was supposed to start.

At one point during Mark’s teaching in the 2nd service, the sound board reverted itself back to previously customized settings that we don’t use.  It made an extremely loud feedback noise that hurt everone’s ears and caused Trevor to literally jump out of his seat.

So, 2nd service goes on.  Green words.  Green teaching notes.  Loud haunted sound system feedback.  We decide to try and run the video after common meal.  It’s on Bill’s computer, but I’m not a Mac guy and have no idea how to make it run or project correctly.  So we run a 3 minute video, in green, that is never fully projected on the screen.  I can’t even explain the ridiculousness of what this looked like.  It was hilarious.

And through it all, sitting beside me, my friend Kristin, who’s running lights, is laughing, smiling, shaking her head, and offering humorous commentary.  I think she was the very first person to notice the falling confetti.  And she couldn’t stop laughing for about 5 minutes.

And here’s the kicker.  We still had church.  We still met as a community.  We still worshipped.  We still engaged in the story of the “Triumphal Entry”.  We still communed with Christ in common meal.  We still laughed.  We still “woo hoo-ed”.

We place a good bit of dependance on sound, lights, cables, mics, screens, and other technical things.  But we’ve discovered more than once that those things are certainly not central to our community.  Our worship, friendship, engagement in the teaching, enjoyment of common meal … all of these things transcend technical difficulties.  They remind us we are still just flawed humans loved by God, and that we still look forward to being together, even when things don’t work out as planned.  It’s almost as if God “confused our speech”, just to make sure we realize that “this is not about that.”  This is not about that.  And that’s a very good thing.

I’ve always been a big fan of good practical jokes….especially ones that take some time, planning, good execution.  I’ve practical joked many co-workers and friends over the years.

About 3 weeks ago, my small group met at I-HOP on Thursday night.  It was 9 guys around a huge table, stuffing ourselves with all you can eat pancakes.  My friend Chris, after having eaten sausage, eggs, hashbrowns, and about 6 pancakes, decides to try and go for the local IHOP record of eating 23 pancakes.  Big mistake.

About 13 pancakes in, he starts feeling pretty bad.  This may not be entirely accurate in who-said-what, but I think my friend Reid said something like, “if anyone sees my friend dying out in the parking lot, please help him out.”  Then, I think Chris responded with, “yeah, just treat me like a pregnant woman.”  Raucus laughter ensued.  Josh then suggested that we should make a t-shirt out of that phrase, which encouraged even more riotous laughter.

A week later….these shirts were produced:

Just in case you can’t see…the front says “If Anything Should Happen to Me…”  and the back says, “Just Treat Me Like a Pregnant Woman.”

Here’s the joke…in addition to producing one for each small group member, I made an extra one for our lead pastor at Crossings, Mark Nelson.  Last week, I sent him his shirt.  It was folded up, placed in a white shipping bag, and sent to the Crossings office via UPS.  On the return label, I had it say “Pregnant Ministries, 4500 Half Baked Lane, Knoxville, TN, 37920“.  That’s it.  No note, no packing slip.  Just a shirt inside a bag from “Pregnant Ministries.” 

The day that he receives the shirt, I emailed his wife – Monica – to let her in on the joke.  She emails me back and says Mark is going crazy, Googling the address, the words on the shirt, Pregnant Ministries, trying to figure out where this came from.  He took to other offices in the building to see if anyone had heard of it before.  Bill – who also knew about it – suggested to Mark that is sort of sounded like a threatening message! 

Fast forward 3 days to this past Saturday at our monthly leadership community gathering.  Scott Wilson (small group leader) and I are wearing our Pregnant Women tees underneath our jackets.  A few minutes into the meeting, while we’re sharing “wins” in the community, I took the opportunity to talk about how awesome our guys small group is (which is totally true), how well we get along, we hang out, go to movies…and then briefly shared the funny story about Chris trying to eat 23 pancakes.  I then said…

“During that moment, when Chris felt like crap, something was said aloud that was SO funny, we decided to make t-shirts to commemorate the occasion.”

Scott and I stood up, took off our jackets, and amidst the laugher in the community, watched for Mark’s reaction.  It was just as I had hoped!  Laughter, shock, laughter, shaking of the head…he then proceeded to briefly tell everyone the story of receiving the t-shirt that week. 

Anyways, it was great.  Thanks to my incredible small group for creating such a classically funny moment at IHOP, and thanks to Mark for being such a great sport on Saturday morning.  And it looks like I may have 2 extra Pregnant Woman tees available – one in medium and one in large.  If you’re interested, let me know!

Over the last 19 months, I’ve had to redefine my own perception of community.  I had always perceived a community as a simple gathering of things … a gathering of homes on a street, a gathering of people in a square mile radius, a gathering of believers in a church, etc.  But that’s really it.  A gathering.  A group.  A number of things grouped together.

Any notions of this word that went deeper than a just a gathering bordered on the weird – hippies, cult-like religious fanatics (Branch Davidians, Jesus Juice), nudists.  The thought of “joining” a community brought to mind images of a Lion’s Club, Mason’s, or being on the community activist planning committee.

Part of my reservation in understanding true community stems from my natural desire to be sort of reclusive.  I’m great at being outgoing, funny, witty, and comfortable in front of groups of people, but only when there’s no real investment involved.  It’s easy for me to be a likable, humorous, engaging version of myself when I know those around me won’t really have the opportunity to know the real me.

But, ultimately, when it comes to true friendships, I’ve always been a real one-on-one, very small group of 3 or 4 friends type of guy.  As much as I hate cliques, I enjoy them in my own reality.  I like fitting into a small group of like minded people, loving others but keeping them at a distance, enjoying inside jokes, exclusive experiences, “you had to be there” moments.  Even 11 years removed from college, I sometimes long deeply for those days, when I had 4 really great friends who were always around.  They knew me.  I knew them.  Except for the cute girls I had crushes on, I could have cared less about the other 600 students.

Crossings, slowly but surely, has begun to change all that.  In this place, I have witnessed, heard about, seen, and experienced community in a new way.  A way I wasn’t sure existed.  A way that is magnetic, authentic, passionate, and deep.  I’ve had the opportunity to engage in a guys-only small group that has grown, changed, grown again, served together, studied, laughed, prayed, and opened ourselves up to one another.

I’ve seen everyday needs being met by others.  Heard stories of community-provision that brought tears to my eyes.  Even now, our neighbor (a family of 3) is about to be without a home….and families within the Crossings community, without even having met these people, have opened their homes and offered them a place to live.

I’ve seen a community truly engaged in the Sunday morning teachings.  I’m not sure I’ve ever been in a church where people could actually recall what had been taught 2 or 3 months earlier.  I’ve seen people of ALL ages engage fully in worship.  In a setting where you might expect only 20-somethings to be comfortable….there are 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, and 70-somethings enjoying themselves every week.

I’ve seen people give of themselves week after week, hours upon hours, to own this community and make it a special place.  I’ve seen people really examine their lifelong beliefs and traditions – not because we expect them to “conform” – but because they’re finally taking steps to make their faith THEIR faith, and not the one that was handed to them.  And even when their beliefs or traditions don’t match up exactly with what we do at Crossings, they are tolerant and accepting, realizing that we are all on the same journey together, and that what really matters is not communion rules, alter calls, or song styles, but the lifelong struggle of finding your way back to God.

God is still working on me.  I can tell there’s more to this community-thing than I have yet to experience.  I’m still working on just being me, on being transparent and authentic.  I’m still struggling with how to let-in all 8 guys in my small group, rather than just 3 or 4.  And I’ve been in a months-long dilemma with understanding and responding to God’s call in my life.

But everyday is an amazing adventure.  Every Sunday is life-change just waiting to happen.  Every Thursday night is an opportunity for friendship, growth, and honesty.  Every evening at home is a chance to live out God’s love with my family.  And through it all, community happens.

Funny thing.  I rarely call Crossings a church anymore.  Not to myself, to my friends, to my co-workers.  Not that church is a bad word.  It’s just somehow not sufficient in today’s vernacular.  We are a faith community.  We do community, live community, share community,   flesh community, cry community, and teach community.

It’s like there are 1000 meanings of the word community, and for the first 31 years of my life, I only knew 2 of them.  But God does what God does, and now I know about 30 meanings.  And there are 970 more that He’s just waiting to reveal to me, in His own time, as I’m ready to understand them myself.  Almost like He’s smiling, nervous, anticipating, excited for me to learn the next meaning.  I know just how He feels.

Eli is big-time into Power Rangers right now.  He was a Power Ranger for Halloween, I think he’s already dedicated his life to “getting bad guys”, and he often runs downstairs and puts on random displays of Kung Fu action for us.  Here is Eli in his “Super Eight Sword” Power Ranger pose in front of our Christmas tree:

This next one is from a few nights ago.  Eli and I were making home-made masks to wear around the house and scare each other.  Eli made a sort-of Ironman mask, and me…well, as you can see, it doesn’t take much to make this grill look scary:

Finally, a shot from last Saturday.  Crossings had its Leadership Community at 4 Market Square – our new home beginning January 11th.  The community broke into teams and participated in a downtown area photo scavenger hunt.  Here was my team (I took the photo), standing in front of a graffitti’d wall just behind the 4MS building.