Over the last 8 years of my life, debt has been a constant reminder of my terrible actions and stupid decisions.  The terrible actions and stupid decisions, well, I won’t get into those today.  As for the debt…

It feels much like jumping off of a sinking about about a mile from shore.  You’ve got on a life jacket, so you’re staying alive, but you’re a mediocre swimmer, and the current proves too strong.  You swim hard, kick, fight, make progress, and can see the shoreline.  The shoreline full of debt-free people who enjoy less stress, take vacations, save for the future, and drive paid-for cars.

Then you stop to catch your breath, and the current does its thing.  And 8 years later, instead of being a mile from the shoreline, you’re now .85 miles away.  Closer, but a long ways away and struggling.

I know the situation is about 97% my fault, but it’s so much easier to be mad at the system, the credit card companies, ridiculous health care premiums, and the untimeliness of certain costly events.

Dave Ramsey has been a good guide and a reasonable voice, but his methods alone can only take you so far.  Selling every unessential item you own, taking on three jobs, and never spending a dime on anything unnecessary sounds inspiring when you read it.  Until, of course, you realize every unessential item you own is probably worth about $100 total, you care more about the sanity of your family than about working three jobs, and that never spending a dime on anything leads to hermitism, social depression, and never doing anything with friends.

So you make an airtight budget that pays your bills, gives you a small weekly allowance that gives you at least some freedom to grab an occasional lunch or see a movie once a month, and then hope to God that the car doesn’t break down, that a bone doesn’t get broken, and that you’re lucky enough to keep your job.

And, then, squeezed somewhere into there, you give back to God.  You tighten the small weekly allowance, just to make it possible.  And you go through a mental battle that wages a war on whether or not that God-money is optional.  “Bought too many groceries this week?  Just take it out of the God money.”  (no, no, no)  “Donated money to a third party cause of some sort?  No problem, just take that out of the God money.”  (ahhhh, can’t do that)  “Have to buy a pair of shoes this week, because yours are 2 years old and falling apart.  You gotta do it, gotta have shoes.  Just take it out of the God money.”  (crap! stop!)

And so you swim.  And hope.  And pray.  And say thanks for forgiveness for stupid decisions.  And you give.  And work hard to accept what you have as a blessing from the Giver.  And you squint even harder, trying to see the light in the tunnel.  You dig harder, trying to see that ray of sunlight coming through the dirt.  You swim faster, seeking the joy of the shoreline.  And you enjoy family and friends.  You worship.  You trust.  You live.

Mountain Dew, Red Bull, & Amp will form a partership to combine their technologies into one drink….it will be called “OH HELL YEAH I’M TWEAKING BABY!”  It will be a hit.

People will still speculate whether or not Elvis and 2Pac are still alive.

All of Europe will have transitioned into a nudist continent.

Blogging, Facebook, Twitter and the rest will be replaced by ThinkWarp.  You simply think something, in your mind, and your friends will hear it in their ears.

People will think of the A-Bomb, Napalm, and Nuclear Missles the way we think of spears and slingshots…as in, “Wow, I can’t believe people back in the 21st century had such primitive means of battle.  What woosies.”

Braveheart will still stand as the movie to which all other movies are compared to in terms of overall greatness.

Cows, pigs and chickens will no longer need to be raised and killed.  All meat products will be expertly grown in labratory-factories with giant petrie dishes.  All humans will have become lactose intolerant because of 21st and 22nd century steroid enhanced milk, making dairy products obsolete.

Bill Clinton will be looked upon as one of the greatest presidents in our nations history.  George W Bush will still be the butt of presidential jokes.  Barack Obama will have paved the way for future black presidents, hispanic presidents, and eventually a gothic teenage president.

Because of increased fear and crime, Trick or Treat will devolve into “Knock and I’ll Shoot”.  Of course, shoot is such a present day term, as guns won’t exist as we know them in that time.  It will probably be more like, “Knock and I’ll Say Intruder”, at which point the voice activated home protection system will active the magnetic field under the porch (all people will be required to wear lightweight magnetic shoes, enabling law enforcement to stop an individual at any time by activating the magnetic field under the area in which they stand), causing the person to be stuck in that spot.  It will then automatically alert the local law enforcement agency with a detailed report of the both the person (through use of a retinal information scan, or RIS) and the incident.  Police will arrive within seconds through an underground tunnel system (sort of like a hyperspeed roller coaster with protective tubes that you travel in), and take the person in question to jail, where their punishment, which will actually be the uniform punishment system, will be to sit in a room for 48 hours, where they will have nothing but bread and water, and be forced to watch all 12 Seasons of the early 21st century version of ABC’s “Wife Swap”.

I’m having trouble understanding economics, bailouts, and the American way of life.  Actually, struggling might be a better way of putting.  I’m struggling with these concepts.  I’ve already written my thoughts on the auto bailout (against).  And I enjoyed getting our extra tax refund last year as much as anybody.  But I’m still struggling.

It seems as though Washington is hell bent on keeping The American Way of Life in tact.  I get this feeling that, unless Americans are relatively wealthy, able to freely spend money, and can all afford to buy homes that are bigger than they need, then somehow, as a nation, we are not fulfilling our historical destiny.  This ideal is starting to make me sick. 

Just 30-40 years ago, people HAD to live within their means.  Credit was an almost foreign concept.  20% down payments on cars or homes were the norm.  Buying only what you needed at the grocery to eat for that week was typical.  A 2000 square foot home was huge. 

Part of my struggle is that I’m envious of those who have money, and have little to worry about financially.  I have a nauseous desire sometimes to drive a bigger vehicle, to take great vacations twice a year, to eat out more frequently at places classier than Cracker Barrel, to see a $150.00 pair of sunglasses in the mall that would frame my mug perfectly, and just be able to get them.  These desires are also making me sick.  When I look at them in the right frame of mind, they even bring me to appreciate what I have and don’t have.  It helps to understand that there’s a reason I drive the cheapeast car Hyundai makes, a reason we still rent a small townhouse, a reason we’ve taken 1 real vacation in the last 5 years.  The main reason is because that’s what we can afford.  I made mistakes.  We made mistakes.  I struggled financially for a few years and built up a mound of credit card debt that we’re still chipping away at.  And as much as I’d like someone to come along and bail me out, I appreciate the lesson I’m learning in the struggle.

I just wish our country could appreciate the struggle a little more.  To understand that a capitalist market should not allow for bailouts.  To know that the sense of entitlement is becoming a curse.  To see The American Way of Life through lenses other than wealth and power.  And to realize the need for a change in the curve of our culture.

Holy crap, crap, crap.  I cannot believe it.  OJ Simpson just received 9 years in prison.  No parole eligibility for at least 5 years.  Wow.  Next week, I’ll tell you the story of “what I was doing when OJ Simpson got chased by the police” back in ‘94.  *update* – actually, looks like he’ll have to do a minimum of 8 – 9 years before being eligible for release.

The BCS.  It’s dumb.  It’s even worse than high-school superlatives voting.  I was voted “Most Studious” my senior year, basically because I was always known as the smartest guy at school.  But I definitely didn’t study the most.  I can tell you at least 4-5 guys who worked harder than me.  But because I got good grades, I must be the most studious.  And how subjective is “most popular” or “most attractive”?  And so it goes with the BCS.  Oklahoma beat Texas Tech who beat Texas who beat Oklahoma.  So who’s better?  Florida.  That’s who.

The Socio-Economic Climate.  I can only speak from personal perspective on this one.  I’m semi-anti-social, but not to the point that I can’t speak and carry on conversations with people.  I just prefer smaller groups to larger groups when it comes to relational stuff.  I can pretty much get to know anyone 1 on 1, but I quiet down a lot in a group setting.  Economically, I’m probably “lower middle class”.  I’m not even sure there’s a true middle class now.  It skips right from lower middle class to upper middle class.  As far as the climate, it was 22 degrees out this morning, and my car was encrusted with ice.  It took me 10 minutes just to de-ice all the windows and windshield, then put deicer fluid in both mine and Erin’s car, which ended up making me late to work. 

ESPN Writer Bill Simmons.  This guys is an amazing columnist and writer.  But his articles are always so long, I just don’t have time to finish them.  Which is very frustrating.  Like getting into a GREAT book and realizing it’s 2:00am, you’re too sleepy to continue, but there’s only 5 chapters left to finish the book.  Ahhh, what a dilemma, right!  That happened to me with The DaVinci Code, I ended up finishing it at about 4:00am and had to get up at 6:45am for work. 

Live Theater Productions.  In the last 15 years or so, the only live theater style show I’ve seen is Riverdance, about 5 years ago, here in Knoxville.  In middle/high school, we used to take field trips to Louisville, KY to see live shows at a place called Actor’s Theater, which probably seated about 600 people total.  The most memorable for me was The Cask of Amontillado.  I always enjoyed those shows.  But for some reason, I just can’t muster enough desire to go see shows today.  Partly because I just am clueless about what’s in town and available to see.  And partly because I’m simply unwilling to shell out $30 – $50 to see the good ones at the Tennessee Theater.  Any free theater productions around town that I don’t know about?

Meatloaf.  Friends, I absolutely love meatloaf.  It’s incredible.  Crackel Barrel’s meatloaf is usually really really good.  Erin has never been that big a fan, but recently a co-worker shared her meatloaf recipe with us.  Erin tried it.  We ALL loved it, even Eli.  It has something to do with Heinz 57 sauce and brown sugar in the recipe that puts it over the top.  Meatloaf is fairly simple to make, you can make a lot of it rather inexpensively, it goes well with a variety of side dishes, it reheats magnificently, and it’s very filling.  If I were stranded in the desert for 40 years, it’s very possible that I would pray for meatloaf to fall from the heavens.

“A euphemism is a substitution of an agreeable or less offensive expression in place of one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant to the listener; or in the case of doublespeak, to make it less troublesome for the speaker.  It also may be a substitution of a description of something or someone rather than the name, to avoid revealing secret, holy, or sacred names to the uninitiated, or to obscure the identity of the subject of a conversation from potential eavesdroppers. Some euphemisms are intended to be funny.”  (from wikipedia)

Euphemisms for Curse Words:  Shoot, darn, durn, gosh darn, dang, crap, gosh, terd, frick, freak, frack, SOB, SOL, FUBAR, bull, bullcrap, fart, screw it, fudge, crud, poop, bullhockey, jeez, geez, gee whiz, flip, shucks, frag, foo, fooey …. what am I missing?

Other Euphemisms, Random:  special needs, physically challenged, vertically challenged, post traumatic stress disorder, getting to third base, scoring, love gloves, passed away, went to sleep forever, we’re having him put down, sanitation officer, wellness programs, making whoopy, pre-owned vehicles, cutting excess salaries, working class neighborhood, correctional facility, unable to perform in clutch situations, escort service, and being held back a grade.

What are your favorites?  What have I missed?  As a Christian, are the cursing euphemisms acceptable to use, or is it just like cursing anyway, so it doesn’t matter?  Are euphemisms stupid?  Excuse me, I mean are euphemisms less mentally able?  Are they helpful?

Yep, I did just stay up until 11:00pm last night watching the 3 HOUR finale of The Bachelorette – Season 4, in which Deanna and Jesse ended up together.  Wow, what a marathon.  Truth is, I’d seen maybe 1 episode this season.  But this weekend, we were in Kentucky visiting my family, and my sister Kari Jo had the last 2 or 3 weeks of it recorded on their DVR, and on a lazy Saturday afternoon we all watched it together.  Turns out Deanna Pappas (the Bachelorette) is originally from Campbellsville, Ky, where my sister, brother-in-law, and nephew live. 

And I’ve seen a few of The Bachelor series in the past.  And none of the relationships work out.  In fact, Ryan and Trista from 2003 are the only “successful” couple out of 16 different Bachelor and Bachelorette series to date.  Not the greatest success rate.  A 6% success rate, in fact.  I think the rate of relationships in which the woman turns lesbian, leaves the guy, and hooks up with another women is even higher than 6%.  I mean, that’s dismal.  Which leaves me wondering how the show continues to be successful?  That’s like having a reality TV show about drug addiction recovery, in which addicts successfully kick-the-habit on tv, and then 15 out of every 16 contestants ends up back on drugs within 3 months of the show.  Not good.

For future reference, here’s how you know who’s going to get picked on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette.  Whoever the show makes you THINK is going to get picked…is not going to get picked.  They do it all the time.  It’s on purpose.  The couples spend hours and hours together on dates, and you get to see 15 minutes of it.  The producers plan this all out, editing things so that you think one guy is toast (In this case – Jesse), and another guys is a shoe-in (Jason), and then it goes down completely the opposite way.  In fact, they make this slant so obvious, that it’s now almost predictable.  The family loved Jason.  He was hot, stable, family oriented, committed, open, honest, and the “chemistry” always seemed to be there.  Then there was Jesse…not as committed, nervous, not really ready to settle down as quickly, family seemed more unsure of him….and, of course, she picks Jesse.  It’s like watching WWE wrestling, except with lots of kissing and walks on the beach, personal helicopter rides, and other over-romanticized happenings. 

And, guys, be serious.  Who really wants to be lumped together with 25 other dudes to “compete” for a girl you don’t even know….even if she is attractive?  Especially when you know she’s making out with at least half the other guys on the show?  No way this happens naturally.  There has to be some coaching and planning behind the scenes to make this play out well on tv. 

Anyway, I’m rambling.  It’s probably because of my lack of sleep.  Which is mostly due to the 3 HOUR Bachelorette marathon finale.  Which, for some unexplainable reason, I watched.  Thanks Kari Jo.  I’m blaming it all on you.

This one is for all my environmentally friends out there. And there are many of you. I want to recommend a documentary. I would actually consider it a must see.

Who Killed the Electric Car? Seen it? Heard of it? You need to. It’s pretty amazing. Back in the mid 1990’s, partly out of pressure from the California State Government, the electric car hit the streets.  Most of us here in the southeast or midwest may have never seen one.  Many of us probably never even heard of it.  But it existed.  And it worked.  And the cars were amazing.  Many were owned by celebrities….you know, all the ones that now drive Prius’s, ride bikes, speak out against smog, and live in homes that cost $1000.00 each month just to heat and cool?  Yep, those celebrities.  Without giving away the plot, the electric car effort came to a screeching halt, back around 2000 or 2001. 

However, back then, in the $1.50/gallon days, no one could have forseen $4.00/gallon gas just 7 years down the road.  So, after a short hiatus, in which most of the population has probably forgotten the electric car ever existed…..they’re making their way back.  For real.  You can check it out.  Here.  Or here. 

And whether you’ve seen them or not, electric cars are on the road.  Their just few and far between.  Want proof?  A couple of weeks ago, I was in the Barnes and Noble parking lot on Kingston Pike at about 8:00pm.  Was heading there to do some reading before meeting some friends to play tennis.  When, what did my eyes behold?  This…

That’s right.  An electric car.  And not only that, but one with some BAD ASS wheels baby!  Notice the picture on the left.  I really liked how the car was parked right in front of a $50,000 Porsche Boxster.  Awesome. 

So, cross your fingers.  I say it’s very possible that, within the next 10 years, electric cars could be a true reality.  And not just 100 of them scattered across the nation, but mass produced and parked in yours or my garage.  Well, I don’t have a garage, but that’s not the point.  It’s real.  It’s coming.  And I’m terribly excited about it.

Things I Like About Summer…

1. Driving with the windows down and listening to slighly more rap/hiphop music than I do during the rest of the year.  For some reason, when the windows are down, I just enjoy a little hip hop….the last couple of weeks it’s been Kanye West, but I’ll pop in some Will Smith, LL Cool J, Eminem, Dr Dre, Fu Schnikens, Run DMC, Beastie Boys, and a couple of others as the summer goes on.
2. Never going home at night.  We’re bad at this, but it’s fun.  Erin & I never want to just go home from work during summer.  It’s always which park we can take Eli to, where to get something cheap to eat, where to go for a walk, etc.  Anything but home.  This makes laundry a bit of an issue.
3. Frisbee.  Let me just say this loud and clear….I absolutely love throwing Frisbee.  I always have.  Problem is, I’ve never really known too many people who love it equally.  I can go out into an open area with someone and throw Frisbee for an hour and never get tired of it.  I also love Ultimate Frisbee, but haven’t played it in about 5 years.  Again, just don’t know who/when/where anyone is playing it.
4. Water play.  This summer we have season passes to Splash Country (a gift from Erin’s family).  We’ve already been there 3 times.  There are at least 7 or 8 areas/parks around town that have the water spouts and fountains that shoot up out of the ground.  Eli really enjoys these, it’s really a blast. 
5. Less traffic going to work.  I live 23 miles from work.  It normally takes me about 45-50 minutes to leave home, take Eli to daycare, and then drive all the way to work.  In the summer, because of the lack of school/teacher traffic, that morning commute get cut by about 10 minutes.
6. The U.S. Open, The British Open, and the PGA Championship.  Those are golf tournaments, for those who don’t know.  3 of the 4 major championships in golf take place over a 3 month period of time. 
7. Church camp….granted, I haven’t attended a week of camp, either as a camper or faculty, in over 8 years.  But church camp is very nostalgic for me.  During the summer, I think back often on my camper days growing up, with very fond memories.  I miss my home camp, Camp Calvary.  I had so many incredible times there.  (Want something fun to do?  Visit the Camp Calvary link, click on “camp photos”, and see if you can find me in any archived photos from the 1985 – 1997 era.  I’ll even give you one to start with…1994, Junior High II.  From 1994 to 1996, I think I’m in 11 different photos.)
8. Waking up to sunlight.  I’m not an early bird by any means.  But it’s much much easier to wake up at 6:30am in the summer when the light is already coming through the windows.  As opposed to winter, when it’s 7:15am and still almost pitch dark. 

Things I Do NOT Like About Summer…

1. It’s insufferably hot in the Knoxville area.  The average high temperature from June – August is roughly 88 degrees…and even that seems low, considering how many upper 90’s days there seems to be.  And it’s stinking HUMID.  Frankly, it’s pretty hard to appreciate being outside sometimes when all you can think about is how hot you are, how much you’re sweating, and how much you cannot wait to take a cold shower. 
2. Too much to do, too little money to spend.  We have all these ideas of things we’d love to do during the summer….weekend trips, zoo, day trips, camping, etc….but all the ideas cost money, and we’re on a very tight budget!
3. Crappy Air Conditioning.  The townhouse where we live has a hard time staying cool.  We’ve had it worked on 3-4 different times.  Often we’ll set the temperature at 69 degrees while we’re at work, and when we come home it’s 76 degrees inside the place.  And we never seem to be cool enough at night.  We try to be conserative with out temperature setting to save money, so that’s a factor as well.
4. The lack of a variety of sports to watch.  I like baseball in general, but I do not enjoy watching it.  That leaves golf.  And my wife does NOT like to watch golf, so I catch bits and pieces when I can.  But that’s it.  No football.  No basketball.  The Olympics will be okay, but there are 1000 events going on and they only air about 4 of them, so you have to get lucky to see what you want.  Also, you have to know that we only pay about $12.00 a month for 15 channel cable, so my sports options are limited in that respect too.
5. Yard work.  Luckily, we don’t really have a yard.  And we don’t have to mow the tiny bit we do have.  But I’ll occasionally be called upon to help with some yard work, mainly for my father in law, and it’s just brutal during the summer.  I’m always glad to help and do something productive, but man, you just sweat and sweat and sweat, the grass sticks to your sweat, you smell terrible….
6. Getting into my car.  If it’s 95 degrees outside, it’s roughly 114 inside my car.  For the first 2 minutes, it’s hard to breath.  And my little Mazda doesn’t have the most potent AC, so that takes a while as well. 
7. The lack of rain.  I enjoy rain.  Obviously, like anyone, I don’t enjoy rain if it ruins my plans in some way, but overall I find rain wonderful, refreshing, and just another awesome reminder of God’s wonder.  But I often wish it would rain a bit more during the summer, when you might actually be able to be outside IN the rain, enjoying it, needing it to cool you off, you know? 
8. BUGS.  I really really do not like bugs.  Of any kind.  Ants, flies, grasshoppers, roaches, spiders, gnats, mosquitos, you name it.  And in the summer, they’re everywhere.  It’s impossible to hide from them. 

Either way, summer is here.  I hope you enjoy yours.  Just watch out for bugs.

You might be thinking, “Jason, this isn’t really a new tour stop.  You just posted a BVD Tour picture with Team Kelsey yesterday, with the Sunsphere in the background.  That’s cheating.”  Simmer down, now, simmer down.  It’s not cheating.  You may just now be noticing, but this is the FREAKING SUNSPHERE.  It’s its own unique spectacle.  Go ahead, click this link, and marvel in its historical beauty.  This is like taking a picture on the outskirts of the Rocky Mountains, with the white peaks visible in the background, and then taking a picture ON the highest, most dangerous peak in the range.  Are those experiences the same, I ask?  No, they most certainly are not.  In the Team Kelsey photo, could you appreciate the true girth of the Sunsphere?  Could you experience the full admiration of it’s wonder?  Did you rub your eyes in amazement (as you certainly are now), dumbfounded as to how such an amazing feat of human ingenuity could possibly have been resurrected in this humble East Tennessee valley, nestled in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains?  No, you could not. 

Small disclaimer – it was pretty cloudy when my friend Cory laid on his back on the cold concrete to take this stunning photo, so the clarity and shimmer of the Sunsphere are not at their pinnacle.  But does visiting the Grand Canyon on a rainy day diminish its wonder?  If you visit the Graceland mansion during colder weather, do you suddenly cease to experience the presence of the king?  Should you go snorkeling off the coast of Tahiti when the waters are “slightly” murky, does not the beauty of ocean life still overwhelm you?  I think not.  In fact, I almost think if this picture were clearer, you may not be able to look at it for more than a few seconds.  You might be suddenly blinded, your optic system rendered useless by the blazing glory of the Sunsphere.  Knoxville readers…do you have an hour to spare this week?  Visit the Sunsphere.  Do it.  Do it.  Don’t wait.  Outside of Knoxville readers…do what you have to do to make this journey.  Vacation day, sick day, sabatical, a pretend wedding of an old college friend, it doesn’t matter.  It will be worth it.