The Shoreline

Over the last 8 years of my life, debt has been a constant reminder of my terrible actions and stupid decisions.  The terrible actions and stupid decisions, well, I won’t get into those today.  As for the debt…

It feels much like jumping off of a sinking about about a mile from shore.  You’ve got on a life jacket, so you’re staying alive, but you’re a mediocre swimmer, and the current proves too strong.  You swim hard, kick, fight, make progress, and can see the shoreline.  The shoreline full of debt-free people who enjoy less stress, take vacations, save for the future, and drive paid-for cars.

Then you stop to catch your breath, and the current does its thing.  And 8 years later, instead of being a mile from the shoreline, you’re now .85 miles away.  Closer, but a long ways away and struggling.

I know the situation is about 97% my fault, but it’s so much easier to be mad at the system, the credit card companies, ridiculous health care premiums, and the untimeliness of certain costly events.

Dave Ramsey has been a good guide and a reasonable voice, but his methods alone can only take you so far.  Selling every unessential item you own, taking on three jobs, and never spending a dime on anything unnecessary sounds inspiring when you read it.  Until, of course, you realize every unessential item you own is probably worth about $100 total, you care more about the sanity of your family than about working three jobs, and that never spending a dime on anything leads to hermitism, social depression, and never doing anything with friends.

So you make an airtight budget that pays your bills, gives you a small weekly allowance that gives you at least some freedom to grab an occasional lunch or see a movie once a month, and then hope to God that the car doesn’t break down, that a bone doesn’t get broken, and that you’re lucky enough to keep your job.

And, then, squeezed somewhere into there, you give back to God.  You tighten the small weekly allowance, just to make it possible.  And you go through a mental battle that wages a war on whether or not that God-money is optional.  “Bought too many groceries this week?  Just take it out of the God money.”  (no, no, no)  “Donated money to a third party cause of some sort?  No problem, just take that out of the God money.”  (ahhhh, can’t do that)  “Have to buy a pair of shoes this week, because yours are 2 years old and falling apart.  You gotta do it, gotta have shoes.  Just take it out of the God money.”  (crap! stop!)

And so you swim.  And hope.  And pray.  And say thanks for forgiveness for stupid decisions.  And you give.  And work hard to accept what you have as a blessing from the Giver.  And you squint even harder, trying to see the light in the tunnel.  You dig harder, trying to see that ray of sunlight coming through the dirt.  You swim faster, seeking the joy of the shoreline.  And you enjoy family and friends.  You worship.  You trust.  You live.

Come On In, The Water’s Fine!

For me, one of the nice things about growing older – both in age and in my faith – has been the opportunity to wrestle with faith questions in my life.  Over the years, one of the most important of these questions has been the role of baptism in salvation.

Background – I grew up in a church tradition, and went to a Christian college, that both viewed and taught baptism as being a necessary, final step to being saved.  There was a specific salvation process – you believe, you repent, you confess, and you are baptized.  All four of these steps were necessary, and the omission of any, at the very least, put your salvation at risk.  It was looked at sort of like changing the tire on your car, but forgetting to tighten the lug nuts on the spare.  Yeah, the tire is there, but it’s probably going to fall off as soon as your drive away.  Then you wreck and die.

I had often questioned this view of baptism, but had neither the depth of faith nor the moxy to dig into it further.  I had asked myself questions like, “If you saved a person in the deserts of Africa, and the nearest “dunkable” water source was 5 miles away, and this person simply could not make it to the water source, would they really die and go to hell?”  Scriptural references aside, this simply did not make sense to me.  It was contrary to the loving and relational nature of God.

A turning point began for me around 1997, when I heard Bob Russell, senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Ky, do a sermon series on these 4 steps of salvation.  Long story short, he spoke of baptism in this way…..baptism isn’t necessarily required for salvation, but it is required for the “assurance” of salvation.  God is not a legalistic God, so it’s not in his nature to make us do things to earn his love.  But read the New Testament, especially Acts – Jesus was baptized, and everyone who came to know and believe in Christ was baptized.  If it was good enough for Jesus and the first Christians, shouldn’t we naturally follow that example?

This made sense.  It left open the possibility that a person was saved upon belief and repentance, even if they couldn’t immediately get to a baptistry, creek, or lake.  It helped me see baptism as a celebration of salavation, rather than the final exam.  Since that time, I’ve viewed baptism as a wedding ceremony to Christ….when you fall in love and commit your life to your future spouse, you don’t have to just run out and immediately get married.  At the same time, it’s not necessary to have a full blown wedding with 100’s of people and a fancy ceremony.  Yet couples like to do this, because it’s a celebration.  It’s a way to celebrate their love with others, to make it public, to create a memory that will last forever.

You don’t have to get baptized immediately….accordingly, nor should you wait 2 years to do it.  You can be baptized in front of 2 people or 10,000.  The point is, it’s a celebration of your love for Christ.  It’s your wedding to him.  Maybe – MAYBE – you don’t have to marry Christ.  Maybe God’s love reaches wide and long enough to hold you in, even if you ignore this important step.

But why would you?  Why ignore the example of Christ and the early believers?  Why explain away its importance?  Why sprinkle when Christ was immersed?  Why baptize babies when people in the Scriptures made this decision on their own?  Why roll the dice and take the chance?  In this way, baptism as the “assurance” of salvation has always made great sense to me.

Yesterday, we had another Crossings baptism celebration.  As always, it was great.  At Crossings, we have baptism celebrations every 3-5 months.  In most cases in our community, new believers in Christ are not baptized immediately.  I have old friends who would have a great deal of issue with this, so much so that they would probably not attend our church because of it.  I can understand this, I just don’t agree with it.  You just can’t imagine how special it is when we plan these celebrations, invite the entire community, have dozens – even hundreds – of people show up, and all celebrate wildly together when each person is raised from the water.  As a result, our baptisms are less of a hurried requirement (and even sometimes annoying to those who are ready to leave church and get to lunch before the crowd arrives)….and more of an anticipated party.

I’m so grateful for the depth of God’s love.  And I’m thankful that the waters of baptism are not a hoop, a jump rope, a high bar, or a 3 point line.  Rather, they are 2 open arms, a kiss on the cheek, a thousand hugs, and enough “woo hoo’s!” to last a lifetime.

Thoughts on a Faith Community

Over the last 19 months, I’ve had to redefine my own perception of community.  I had always perceived a community as a simple gathering of things … a gathering of homes on a street, a gathering of people in a square mile radius, a gathering of believers in a church, etc.  But that’s really it.  A gathering.  A group.  A number of things grouped together.

Any notions of this word that went deeper than a just a gathering bordered on the weird – hippies, cult-like religious fanatics (Branch Davidians, Jesus Juice), nudists.  The thought of “joining” a community brought to mind images of a Lion’s Club, Mason’s, or being on the community activist planning committee.

Part of my reservation in understanding true community stems from my natural desire to be sort of reclusive.  I’m great at being outgoing, funny, witty, and comfortable in front of groups of people, but only when there’s no real investment involved.  It’s easy for me to be a likable, humorous, engaging version of myself when I know those around me won’t really have the opportunity to know the real me.

But, ultimately, when it comes to true friendships, I’ve always been a real one-on-one, very small group of 3 or 4 friends type of guy.  As much as I hate cliques, I enjoy them in my own reality.  I like fitting into a small group of like minded people, loving others but keeping them at a distance, enjoying inside jokes, exclusive experiences, “you had to be there” moments.  Even 11 years removed from college, I sometimes long deeply for those days, when I had 4 really great friends who were always around.  They knew me.  I knew them.  Except for the cute girls I had crushes on, I could have cared less about the other 600 students.

Crossings, slowly but surely, has begun to change all that.  In this place, I have witnessed, heard about, seen, and experienced community in a new way.  A way I wasn’t sure existed.  A way that is magnetic, authentic, passionate, and deep.  I’ve had the opportunity to engage in a guys-only small group that has grown, changed, grown again, served together, studied, laughed, prayed, and opened ourselves up to one another.

I’ve seen everyday needs being met by others.  Heard stories of community-provision that brought tears to my eyes.  Even now, our neighbor (a family of 3) is about to be without a home….and families within the Crossings community, without even having met these people, have opened their homes and offered them a place to live.

I’ve seen a community truly engaged in the Sunday morning teachings.  I’m not sure I’ve ever been in a church where people could actually recall what had been taught 2 or 3 months earlier.  I’ve seen people of ALL ages engage fully in worship.  In a setting where you might expect only 20-somethings to be comfortable….there are 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, and 70-somethings enjoying themselves every week.

I’ve seen people give of themselves week after week, hours upon hours, to own this community and make it a special place.  I’ve seen people really examine their lifelong beliefs and traditions – not because we expect them to “conform” – but because they’re finally taking steps to make their faith THEIR faith, and not the one that was handed to them.  And even when their beliefs or traditions don’t match up exactly with what we do at Crossings, they are tolerant and accepting, realizing that we are all on the same journey together, and that what really matters is not communion rules, alter calls, or song styles, but the lifelong struggle of finding your way back to God.

God is still working on me.  I can tell there’s more to this community-thing than I have yet to experience.  I’m still working on just being me, on being transparent and authentic.  I’m still struggling with how to let-in all 8 guys in my small group, rather than just 3 or 4.  And I’ve been in a months-long dilemma with understanding and responding to God’s call in my life.

But everyday is an amazing adventure.  Every Sunday is life-change just waiting to happen.  Every Thursday night is an opportunity for friendship, growth, and honesty.  Every evening at home is a chance to live out God’s love with my family.  And through it all, community happens.

Funny thing.  I rarely call Crossings a church anymore.  Not to myself, to my friends, to my co-workers.  Not that church is a bad word.  It’s just somehow not sufficient in today’s vernacular.  We are a faith community.  We do community, live community, share community,   flesh community, cry community, and teach community.

It’s like there are 1000 meanings of the word community, and for the first 31 years of my life, I only knew 2 of them.  But God does what God does, and now I know about 30 meanings.  And there are 970 more that He’s just waiting to reveal to me, in His own time, as I’m ready to understand them myself.  Almost like He’s smiling, nervous, anticipating, excited for me to learn the next meaning.  I know just how He feels.

More Pictures & A Resolution Thought

The two awesomest people in my life:

We recently visited Cumberland Falls, off I-75 exit 25 just north of the border in Kentucky.  Notice the beautiful falls in the background….and, if you can see it, the large collection of trash beside the bolder in the middle of the photo. 

Also (with no picture needed), I’m not making resolutions this year.  I know the things I need to do to be a better person, to feel better, to be healthier, and to live out the calling of God in my life.  Writing them down specifically and then somehow not fulfilling them is a bummer, and one “goal” of mine this year is to simply be a more optimistic, positive person.  Let me just say this…I’m praying about (not for) redirection in my life.  I’m experiencing a great struggle regarding the unfulfilled calling of God in my life, and I’m just not sure what to do with it.  I’d love to just turn my face to the wind, leave everything to His providence, and spend my days serving and ministering to people in need.  But I’m also quite logical and rational (whether these are Godly traits, I have yet to discover).  I realize that I have a sort-of secure job, a paycheck, debts, a family to care for, and (still) some legal limitations on what I’m able to do.  That leaves me where I’ve been many times before….just wishing God would miraculously make everything happen the way I think it needs to for debts to be paid, histories to be wiped clean, and doors to be opened.  I have a great desire to serve the community, but do little to seek out opportunities to do so, almost scared of what God may do to my heart, and what He may ask of me.

So maybe my real resolution for this year is to learn how to open myself up completely to God’s will for my life, and trust where it leads.  Maybe it keeps me right where I’m sitting.  Maybe it turns my world upside down.  Maybe it does both…or neither.  Either way, if 2009 can include more of Him and less of me, it will ultimately be a great year.

catholic roots

We’re in Kentucky for a 4 day holiday visit with my family.  In case you didn’t know, I grew up in a small farming town called Springfield.  Springfield is mostly a Catholic town, religiously speaking.  My dad and his entire family (parents and 7 siblings) are all Catholic.  The farm they grew up at is at the end of a 1 mile long driveway.  Across the road from the driveway is St. Rose Catholic Church, which not too long ago celebrated it’s 200 year anniversary.  Seriously.  The original section of the church, still there, in the same spot, was constructed over 200 years ago.  The rest of the building is over 100 years old, and is as ornate and beautiful as any Catholic or Orthodox church you’ve ever seen, either in person or in the movies.

Huge arching columns, amazing and intricate statues, 14 hand carved stations of the cross wall mountings, extremely high ceiling.  As a kid, up until I was about 11 or 12, I used to attend St. Rose fairly regularly with my dad.  I never went to “religion” classes, as I remember my Catholic friends calling them, I was never confirmed, did not participate in a “first communion” … side note, from what I remember, taking first communion for a catholic kid was much like a barmitsfah for a Jewish child – a big event, all the family invited, a party afterward with gifts, food, money.  It made me wish I had a first communion.  Am I too old for one now?  I could sure use a few hundred dollars.

Anyways … it’s probably been 15-18 years since I last attended a Catholic Mass, and roughly 10 years since I was inside the church.  On our recent visits to Kentucky, I’ve wanted to go, but it just hasn’t worked out.  Last evening, I finally had the chance to go back to Mass.  Erin actually got to go with me, which was her first time ever attending a Catholic church Mass.  It was just as I remember it.  Short, ritualistic, repetitive, sort of monotone.  But I also enjoyed it in a way that I never did as a child.  I still don’t know the routine (lots of standing, sitting, responsive prayers, kneeling, and stuff that would take a while to learn), but as I’ve grown in my faith and my religious worldview, I can finally appreciate the beauty of Mass.

It was neat to see people there 15 minutes early, kneeling in their pews, praying silently.  It was warming to watch an old priest, who’s been there for years and is highly beloved by his flock, recite the decades old prayers and service liturgy.  For some of the responsive parts, I was able to follow along in a book and participate more freely.  And…even though I’ve probably attended at least 25 – 30 Masses in my lifetime, last night, for the first time ever, I actually participated in the Catholic eucharist.

My dad was there with us.  He normally goes each Sunday morning at 8:00 am, but he attended with Erin and I on Saturday night, which was cool.  I didn’t discuss with him before hand that I was going to partake in the eucharist, and I”m not sure what he thought about it.  I have a feeling it caught him off guard a little when I rose to enter the center aisle, to walk down toward the priest, and have him hand me “the body of Christ” (and let me add it was quite possbily the most cardboard tasting communion wafer/cracker I’ve ever eaten).  15 years ago, I simply would not have considered doing so, since I wasn’t Catholic.  But now I understand that the partaking of communion is not a religious right, only to be enjoyed by those who’ve followed the proper rules and taken the appropriate membership classes.  Rather, it’s the privelage of all believers, to be humbly partaken by any and all who follow Christ Jesus, regardless or race, location, denomination, or method of baptism.

It’s taken me a long time to view Catholicism not as a wrong religion, but simply as a different one.  There are and probably always will be things I don’t really agree with (confession to a priest, transubstantiation, offering prayers to the virgin Mary as one who speaks to Jesus on our behalf, the dominion of the Pope).  But I also understand that Catholics believe in God the Creator of the world and Father of all mankind.  They believe in Christ Jesus, born of Mary, who died for our sins and rose again from the grave.  And they believe in righteous living and the hope of eternal life through faith in Christ.

These are the things that make us brothers and sisters.  These are the beliefs that ultimately unite all Christ followers.  And this is why I’m finally at peace with my Catholic roots.

sometimes

Sometimes life happens, and often times it happens in sh**tty ways, and it helps to remind me that this world is not our home, that it’s only temporary, and that a life beyond imagination awaits.  On top of that, I have a God that sees the way I act and think during the sh**tty times, and has the gaul to have forgiven me for it.  Amazing.

the Chapman family on GMA

What is God Trying To Tell Me

Made some spaghetti last night, with meat sauce.  Yummy.  I’ve been in the habit of bringing my lunch to work for a long time now … can’t really afford to buy lunch everyday, not really sure how so many others can … and spaghetti is a great lunch option.  For about $6.00 you can make at least 5 servings of sketti and meat sauce, which provides a meal at home for 2 and 3 days worth of lunch.  Perfect. 

After I’d eaten some sketti, put my lunch servings into tupperware containers, and cleaned out the pots and the strainer, I left the kitchen to watch some tv with Erin.  A few minutes later, when I came back into the kitchen for something, I noticed this in the sink …

Yep, it’s just what it looks like.  A small piece of leftover spaghetti that didn’t get washed down the drain, in the undeniable shape of an ICTHUS fish.  I had to take about 10 pictures to get one that looked okay, since the stainless steel sink kept reflecting the camera flash.  Finally, Erin held a flashlight over the ICTHUS spaghetti fish, I turned off the flash, and captured the image you see here. 

What does it mean?  I made some dinner and cleaned up afterward, so I performed my husbandly duties okay.  No problem there.  I made reasonable sized servings, so no gluttony.  Should I be eating MORE spaghetti?  Is it really good for me?  Do I need to think about God more while I’m cooking, being thankful for the opportunity and for the food provided for us?  Maybe, just maybe, if I look at my sink closely enough, I’ll find a sublimal image of the Virgin Mary.  And the ICHTHUS spaghetti fish is likely sitting right where her stomach is, an obvious metaphor of the fact she carried the hope of mankind in her womb.  Or maybe, just maybe, the spaghetti poured onto the sink, this piece got stuck, some water flowed on it and caused it to move a little, and it ended up looking like a well known Christian symbol.  I don’t know. 

What I do know is that if I ever see several grains of rice clumped together in the sink in the shape of a cross, I’m going to totally freak out. 

a few thoughts & struggles

The BVD Tour has been fun.  But it will probably slow down a bit for the next few weeks.  I had assumed I would be in possession of the BVD for one month, at which time it would be presented to someone else in the Crossings leadership community.  However, the June leadership meeting was cancelled, and we will not meet again until August.  This means I have the BVD for 3 months instead of 1.  And it sort of seems like the initial “boom” of the tour has faded.  I’ve gone from being the 2nd most popular blog on wordpress (for a particular few days of time) to being back to like the 2,225,875th most popular.  I still plan on keeping it with me, but I’ll be more selective as to when to bring it out.  And I still have 4-5 photos I haven’t posted yet, so I’ll make sure and offer those in the next week or so. 

On another note…I’m experiencing a time right now, and have been for a little while, where I’m having a very difficult time being content with my life.  And it encompasses many areas.  And the hardest part is knowing what to do, or even having the proper motivation to do anything about it.  For instance…

Erin & I have been on a really tight debt-reduction budget for a long time, and it seems like it will never end, and I’m having trouble being content with the amount of money we make, the place in which we live (we still rent), and the things we’re able or not able to do because of money. 

I’ve posted before about a renewed desire to serve in a greater capacity in ministry, but I wonder if it’s ever going to be possible and whether it’s something I should stop thinking about, at least for now.

I started playing my guitar again about 3 months ago, but I’ve already faded on it again, partly because I have little opportunity to play outside of my bedroom, and partly because my attempts at writing songs seem to head off into nowhere.  =/ 

I’m unhappy with my general physical condition, but have little motivation to do anything about it – jogging, walking, eating much better, developing accountability, etc. 

I have a real desire to develop deeper, stronger friendships in my life and seem to run into some mental roadblocks in that area…. (such as) I don’t have enough time to devote, the friends I have don’t have enough time, friends I’d really like to know better seem to have so many other close friends already that I feel like an intruder or an outsider, with others I wonder if our personalities would mesh well enough to become closer friends….and on and on it goes.

There’s more, but you get the idea.  I wonder if this is something others commonly deal with, or if I’m just in a unique little rut.  Either way, life goes on, right?  Any advice, encouragement, or prayers you may have to offer are certainly welcome.  I know I’ve been given a good life, certainly better than most, but I so often find myself wanting more.  And I’m not always sure whether or not that’s a good thing. 

Ever Wonder…

What the great Albert Einstein thought about God, faith, and the Bible?

Here you go. 

A Dietary Soft Drink Prayer

Dear God,

This is a difficult thing for me to ask.  I’ve grown up – my WHOLE life – eating sweets, drinking sugary drinks, occasionally binging on honey buns, and pretty much loving all of it.  In fact, during 3 years of college, EVERY Friday when I would leave school to head off to a weekend ministry, I would stop at the local Super America gas station, fill up the car, and buy a Mountain Dew and a Honey Bun for the road.  Every week.  It was one of the things I most looked forward to. 

But now, with great pain and humility, I ask that you might help me develop a taste, and maybe even an enjoyment, of … diet soft drinks, unsweet tea, and room temperature drinking water.  Frankly, it just doesn’t make much sense to “drink” that many calories each day.  In my case, probably an average of 300-500 calories each day come from drinking.  That’s about 3000 calories a week.  Whew.

God, I realize, for me, that this is a lot like asking for an enjoyment of cold showers, looking forward to having blood drawn, seeking a greater appreciation of heavy metal music, or asking for a weekend off to watch an Oprah Winfrey marathon.  But I am serious.  And you are the true and only God.  So anything is possible.  I mean, the Atlanta Hawks just tied up the series with the Boston Celtics at 2-2.  ANYTHING is possible. 

So please help me.  Help me fight through the gag reflex.  Help me overcome the initial complete lack of taste.  Help me see the big picture.  To understand how much healthier I could be simply by drinking differently, and to know that after a few weeks it will likely begin to taste good.  And thanks for being available at all times for anything.  Even something as insignificant as trying to switch to non-sugar drinks.  That’s truly one of the things that make You so amazing. 

Jason

Sports Jesus

I struggle sometimes with making the Gospel relevant to the day in which we live. I realize I am to strive to live like Christ. But Christ lived in a desert. 2000 years ago. And wore robes. And walked everywhere He went. I would love to have a clear idea of how Jesus would live today, in Knoxville, in the year 2008. For instance, would Jesus…

Watch TV at all?

Be interested in sports? And if He was, would He have a
favorite?

Driver an old beater car, or invest in one that would be more dependable?

Not own a car, just ride a bike?

Have long hair, short hair, or a shaved head?

Be a member of a local church?

Rent or own his place of living?

Live homeless?

Have a beard?

Wear only second hand, used clothing?

Read stuff while at Borders without ever buying or paying for it? (like me)

Own a computer of any kind? Use email?

Have anything to say about animal rights?

Faithfully recycle?

Speak out against denominationalism?

Cast a vote in governmental elections?

I have many more questions, but you probably get my point. It’s just so hard for me to wrap my mind around sometimes. Much like understanding why Adam Sandler is still a big box office draw, or why anyone would ever spend $12.00 for a tiny bottle of “salon quality” shampoo. It would be so much easier if God’s Word laid things out a little more specifically…..what type of shoes to buy, whether or not Speedo’s are ever acceptable to wear, and how many cable or satellite channels it takes to constitute gluttony.

And, last but not least, I wonder if Jesus would have loved school lunch pizza as much as I used to? And would He have washed it down by chugging a small carton of chocolate milk as fast as humanly possible? I’ll definitely ask Him that one day.

what do you really KNOW?

I had a great conversation with Greg & Daniel the other night at Spicy’s. We were there to watch the utter spanking of Tenneseee by Louisville in the Sweet 16. It as an excellent opportunity for engaging coversation, since the entertainment was clearly lacking.

The basic point of the discussion was this: way too many Christians claim to KNOW way too much about God, the Bible, faith, and the appropriate way to flesh out a Christian lifestyle.

This may be the very foundation of Christian division – both personally and denominationally. One person/group says, “I KNOW (this) is true and should be done this way.” The other person/group says “No, you’re wrong. I KNOW (this) is true and should be done this way.” Emotion, bickering, hurt feelings, and anger ensue. They are unable to resolve differences in a peaceful and open minded way. And a split of some kind occurs.

You can simply fill in the blank for (this) …. communion, baptism, faith alone, faith and works, tongues, spiritual gifts, pastoral roles, financial stewardship, worship music, preaching styles, evangelistic methods, salvation, tithing, role of women, the Holy Spirit, physical attire or appearance, care for the earth, treatment of animals, dealing with sin in the church community, medical practices, healing by the Spirit, confession to a priest, vanity, child rearing, home schooling, involvement in political matters, role of the husband or wife, dating, legalism, care for the poor, abortion, age of accountability, liturgy of the service, and on and on and on.

But really … what do we really, truly, KNOW about all of these matters? For instance, I know that murder is wrong. God specifically and undeniably says it is unacceptable. He also never says anything that might refute that fact. However, He does not clearly and precisely tell me how to dress. I can “infer” from Jesus’ teachings and from understanding the character of God that there is a line in which my physical attire could be considered sinful, but I don’t KNOW what that line is, do I? Nor does God tell me the exact rules regarding the use of music in church worship. He certainly does not specifically say that it is sinful to either use music or not use music. And He shares no preferences on whether he likes rock, folk, pop, or hymnal styles the best.

There is so little that I know and SO much that I don’t. I know God created the heavens, the earth, animals, and people. I know He loves me. I know He sent Jesus to die for me so I could live forever with Him. I know He wants me to love Him more than anything else. And I know He wants me to love my fellow man as much, if not more, than I could ever love myself. I know that Jesus was baptised, so it’s both important and meaningful to follow that example. But I don’t know if baptism is absolutely 100% necessary for salvation. I know that the disciples and the early church met together to break bread and partake in “communion” to remember Christ. But I don’t know exactly how often they did so, whether they ONLY did it on Sundays or Wednesdays, whether they had a “communion prayer” every time before taking it, or whether they took it all at the same time or took it as they felt led. I know that the early church met to worship the Lord, but I don’t know how long that lasted, what instruments they did or didn’t use, what lyrics their songs consisted of, or whether they were more “pentacostal” or “lutheran” or “methodist” in their emotional and physical reactions to worship. I know that I’ve sinned and am doomed to eternal death without believing in Christ. But I don’t know whether or not someone in the Amazon jungle – who’s never been told about Jesus Christ, but who sees the amazing beauty of creation, realizes it has to come from a higher power or supreme being, and cares for the earth and for his fellow man – is saved or not. I can’t possibly know.

What I am coming to know the older I get is that God’s love and grace is far bigger and wider and greater and more encompassing than you or I could ever imagine. I do know that throughout history He has used people to accomplish His purposes that, if we knew them personally, we probably could not imagine how they could have been chosen by God. I also know that most of the issues listed above (and so many more) have very little to do with our salvation and with God’s intense love for His people, and much more so to do with our small mindedness, our inability to put God in a box, our emotional insecurities, our lack of love for others, our desire for power and to be “right”.

And, in some backwards way, all of those things are simply another reminder of how sinful we are, how incapable we are of saving ourselves, and just how much we needed Jesus to come to earth, die on a cross, rise from the grave, take away the sins of the world, and be our best friend, our Lord, and our Savior. Is it possible that we could all spend a lot more time focusing on that…and much less time focusing on almost everything else?

christian concept of retirement?

There’s a concept I’ve mentally struggled with for a long time. We talked about it in my small group last week. It’s the concept of “retirement” and “investment savings” as a Christian.

Here’s my struggle. In the New Testament church, no one really owned anything. All possessions and material needs belonged to everyone and people used stuff as it was needed most. The Bible speaks often about trusting God for provision, not worrying about tomorrow, and giving what you have to those who need it more than you.

Yet we live in a current world – Christians included – in which we earn and save mostly for ourselves…we’re taught to put away nest eggs for college savings, retirement, and those “just in case” moments (worrying about tomorrow?) when we’ll need the money.

I realize that this practice is really a result of a community shift. If ALL Christians were committed to New Testament possession principles, we could live the way they did. Even if one church body were committed to it, that church could probably live the NT way. But people don’t do this. We think it’s an awesome concept, but we don’t really trust others, ourselves, and maybe even God enough to really believe that it could work and we could still live comfortable lives.

So, do I look at retirement savings (IRA, 401K, mutual funds, savings, etc) as provisions from God – maybe that’s God’s way of providing for us. Or do I look it as a lack of trust for provision, do I consider it hoarding, and a way to plan on being totally lazy for the last 10-15 years of my life?

Should Christ followers ever truly retire? Or do we simply retire from a worldly job in order to focus our full-time efforts on ministry work? And if we do that, wouldn’t that retirement nest egg be wonderfully spent on missions, providing for the poor, helping people get back on their feet, helping new church plants…..yes, it’s important to have enough to eat and have a roof over your head and a car to drive, but isn’t that really a secondary concern to doing the work of Christ?

Help me out, here. I’m totally on the fence. Sometimes I’ll lean hard one way, then hard the other way. I want to be more committed to saving and investing and making sure my son has all he needs down the road….but I also want to commit to live more frugally, to trust more in God’s provision, to teach my son that we don’t need all the best possessions to be happy and at peace. What are your thoughts? How do you see the Bible teaching us in this area?