The Shoreline

Over the last 8 years of my life, debt has been a constant reminder of my terrible actions and stupid decisions.  The terrible actions and stupid decisions, well, I won’t get into those today.  As for the debt…

It feels much like jumping off of a sinking about about a mile from shore.  You’ve got on a life jacket, so you’re staying alive, but you’re a mediocre swimmer, and the current proves too strong.  You swim hard, kick, fight, make progress, and can see the shoreline.  The shoreline full of debt-free people who enjoy less stress, take vacations, save for the future, and drive paid-for cars.

Then you stop to catch your breath, and the current does its thing.  And 8 years later, instead of being a mile from the shoreline, you’re now .85 miles away.  Closer, but a long ways away and struggling.

I know the situation is about 97% my fault, but it’s so much easier to be mad at the system, the credit card companies, ridiculous health care premiums, and the untimeliness of certain costly events.

Dave Ramsey has been a good guide and a reasonable voice, but his methods alone can only take you so far.  Selling every unessential item you own, taking on three jobs, and never spending a dime on anything unnecessary sounds inspiring when you read it.  Until, of course, you realize every unessential item you own is probably worth about $100 total, you care more about the sanity of your family than about working three jobs, and that never spending a dime on anything leads to hermitism, social depression, and never doing anything with friends.

So you make an airtight budget that pays your bills, gives you a small weekly allowance that gives you at least some freedom to grab an occasional lunch or see a movie once a month, and then hope to God that the car doesn’t break down, that a bone doesn’t get broken, and that you’re lucky enough to keep your job.

And, then, squeezed somewhere into there, you give back to God.  You tighten the small weekly allowance, just to make it possible.  And you go through a mental battle that wages a war on whether or not that God-money is optional.  “Bought too many groceries this week?  Just take it out of the God money.”  (no, no, no)  “Donated money to a third party cause of some sort?  No problem, just take that out of the God money.”  (ahhhh, can’t do that)  “Have to buy a pair of shoes this week, because yours are 2 years old and falling apart.  You gotta do it, gotta have shoes.  Just take it out of the God money.”  (crap! stop!)

And so you swim.  And hope.  And pray.  And say thanks for forgiveness for stupid decisions.  And you give.  And work hard to accept what you have as a blessing from the Giver.  And you squint even harder, trying to see the light in the tunnel.  You dig harder, trying to see that ray of sunlight coming through the dirt.  You swim faster, seeking the joy of the shoreline.  And you enjoy family and friends.  You worship.  You trust.  You live.

Topic #10 – Giving vs Helping

“Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he’ll eat forever.”

Matthew 19:21 – Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

I think a lot about my lack of giving or service or help to those in need (aka – “the poor”). Anytime in my life where I’ve given or served freely, I’ve always been blessed and so thankful for the opportunity to help. Yet I do so little. I’m serious…SO little. I’m so concerned with my own life, my own time, my own needs, and my own happiness that I simply block out the needs of others. It’s sad.

But I’ve also been thinking a lot about the difference between “giving” and “helping”. It’s so easy to give. Take donations to Goodwill. Put in a little extra offering. Support a local charity with a monthly check. Even serving food in a shelter to the homeless. All good things, but all pretty easy and non-invested types of things.

I came across this story recently. I don’t know if it’s wholly true or not, but I think it probably is. It really brings to light the vast difference between “giving” and “helping” people in need.

It’s easy to give someone money….but how do we HELP that person learn better work skills, earn more money and manage it more wisely? It’s easy to donate food to a pantry. But how do we connect with families in need of food and HELP them get off their feet and provide for themselves? It’s easy to see someone on Sunday at church who is struggling with finances, marriage, their job, sin, or a broken down car and to be nice to them and tell them we’re praying for them, but how do we HELP this person work through the situation and come out better on the other side?

Again, as usual, I don’t have much in the way of answers. Just a continued struggle. It’s just frustrating to see Christians and the church miss the mark so often when it comes to helping those who need it most. We all work more, do more, drive more, commit to more, have a hundred responsibilities a week, and are left with almost no time leftover to truly invest ourselves in the lives of others. We like the concept of serving, but don’t understand the application of it.

I’m praying that God might give me clarity and opportunity in this area. I’m tired of being stressed and busy and all about me. Life is not very fruitful or satisfying without serving others in need. And I don’t want to be 68 years old and “retired” before I realize it. Please pray about how we all might serve/help others daily. Jesus lived it. He taught it. He commanded it. It’s ultimately what our lives on earth are all about once we’ve been saved.

1 John 3:17-19 (The Message) This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God’s love? It disappears. And you made it disappear. My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.