At least for now, I want to continue blogging.  But for the sake of purpose and clarity, I’ve tried to think through some ground rules, a sort of blog-filter if you will.  The blogs that have lasted are the blogs that matter and have a point.  The days of everyone starting a blog and posting nothing but personal updates and you tube videos are over.  Partly because we get tired of that.  Partly because Facebook offers a much better way to communicate personal-life details.  I’m even getting a weird feeling that Twitter is going to die out soon.  Anyone who has enough time on their hands each day to keep a consistent Twitter feed going needs to re-evaluate what exactly they are doing with their time each day.  And those are are Twittering consistently are simply going to get tired of it.

So a blog needs to be thoughtful, meaningful, and provide an actual reason for a reader to return.  I know most of you that read, and you can simply become friends with Erin on Facebook to find out that Eli had a good day at kindergarten, we went on a camping trip, or that work has been rough.  So for you to stay interested, and to attract possible new readers (which I admit I want to do), there has to be more.

With that in mind, here are a few ground rules I’m going to establish.  They’re not necessarily hard and fast (and if you just said “that’s what she said” to yourself, shame on you), and I may occasionally allow myself a guilty humorous pleasure or two, but they’re ground rules nonetheless.

1. If I can create a post in two minutes or less, it’s not a post, and never deserves to be a post.

2. Blog posts shall be well thought out, and written to the best of my ability.

3. I will try to focus my content on issues, opinions, challenges, questions, admissions, hypothesis, and general diatribes that are important to my faith, worldviews, and overall life experience.

4. Because of ground rule #3, anonymous comments are both welcomed and encouraged if the commenter feels it necessary.  This gives you the freedom to question my views, give truly honest feedback, or simply bash me.

5. There shall be no established guideline to the frequency of posts.  It’s easy to post frequently if such posts are not well thought out (see ground rule #2).  That shall not be the case here.  Posting frequency shall coincide only with the time and ability I have to post thoughtfully and effectively.  Therefore, any comment asking where I am or did I disappear shall be ignored.

6. Reader comments are not only welcomed and encouraged, but shall serve as a litmus to the quality of the posts, and the overall health of the blog.  An equation might look like this:  Comments = good post & healthy blog …(or)… No comments = crappy post & dying blog.

7. The total number of “views” on this blog shall no longer mean anything (much like a pitcher’s winning record when his ERA is actually 5.23).  It is apparent that most of my 27,000 views to date have come from people who have Googled the following search terms:  “Hillary Clinton’s cankles”, “Toyota Corolla”, “Michael Jackson History”, “BVD underwear”, and “Best Worship Music.”  None of these Google searchers have either read or contributed to the blog in any way.  They are dead to me.

I hereby announce that the official Ground Rules are established.

Mountain Dew, Red Bull, & Amp will form a partership to combine their technologies into one drink….it will be called “OH HELL YEAH I’M TWEAKING BABY!”  It will be a hit.

People will still speculate whether or not Elvis and 2Pac are still alive.

All of Europe will have transitioned into a nudist continent.

Blogging, Facebook, Twitter and the rest will be replaced by ThinkWarp.  You simply think something, in your mind, and your friends will hear it in their ears.

People will think of the A-Bomb, Napalm, and Nuclear Missles the way we think of spears and slingshots…as in, “Wow, I can’t believe people back in the 21st century had such primitive means of battle.  What woosies.”

Braveheart will still stand as the movie to which all other movies are compared to in terms of overall greatness.

Cows, pigs and chickens will no longer need to be raised and killed.  All meat products will be expertly grown in labratory-factories with giant petrie dishes.  All humans will have become lactose intolerant because of 21st and 22nd century steroid enhanced milk, making dairy products obsolete.

Bill Clinton will be looked upon as one of the greatest presidents in our nations history.  George W Bush will still be the butt of presidential jokes.  Barack Obama will have paved the way for future black presidents, hispanic presidents, and eventually a gothic teenage president.

Because of increased fear and crime, Trick or Treat will devolve into “Knock and I’ll Shoot”.  Of course, shoot is such a present day term, as guns won’t exist as we know them in that time.  It will probably be more like, “Knock and I’ll Say Intruder”, at which point the voice activated home protection system will active the magnetic field under the porch (all people will be required to wear lightweight magnetic shoes, enabling law enforcement to stop an individual at any time by activating the magnetic field under the area in which they stand), causing the person to be stuck in that spot.  It will then automatically alert the local law enforcement agency with a detailed report of the both the person (through use of a retinal information scan, or RIS) and the incident.  Police will arrive within seconds through an underground tunnel system (sort of like a hyperspeed roller coaster with protective tubes that you travel in), and take the person in question to jail, where their punishment, which will actually be the uniform punishment system, will be to sit in a room for 48 hours, where they will have nothing but bread and water, and be forced to watch all 12 Seasons of the early 21st century version of ABC’s “Wife Swap”.

I can’t possibly put all my Michael Jackson thoughts into one post.  I could, but you’d probably get tired of reading.  So I’m breaking it up into parts.

Part 1 – my favorite songs.  I couldn’t figure out how to narrow it down to 10, so I conceded to 15.  So, here are my 15 favorite Michael Jackson songs, in order from 15 to 1.  Feel free to critique.

15. Off the Wall (Off the Wall) – amazing bass line!

14. Wanna Be Startin Somethin (Thriller) – what a fun song … to this day, I still don’t  know why he says, “you’re a vegetable” about 4 times.

13. Is it Scary (Blood on the Dance Floor) – a very intense song, basically asking whether or not you get scared when you look at him.  Probably his least popular selling album, so you may not have heard this one.

12. Get on the Floor (Off the Wall) – another amazing bass line.  This might be the easiest upbeat song every written to sway back and forth to if you’re not a great dancer.  Not that I’m not a good dancer.  I am really.  Club style dancing though, not line or waltz or swing.  And there’s a great part toward the end of the song where he’s basically grunting, “shic a bope a ba, schic a bope a ba”.  It’s so cool.

11. Stranger In Moscow (History, Disc 2) – you’re going to see a few songs from this disc on my list, please tell me you’ve listened to them before!  A slow, almost creepy sounding song about his experience of being in Moscow.

10. Remember the Time (Dangerous) – known by many because it was a theme song/video to the Eddie Murphy movie, “Coming to America”.  Another song with great grunting sounds.

9. Break of Dawn (Invincible) – chorus line – “and we’ve got to make sweet love until the break of dawn”.  Come on, how can you not love that?  Great song off his final album.  Very smooth beat and great vocals on this one.

8. The Girl is Mine (Thriller) – awesome song featuring Paul McCartney.  How many times have you heard the line “I’m a lover, not a fighter” used?  This song is why.  Nuff said.

7. You Rock My World (Invincible) – his last hit single.  Really catchy chorus.

6. Keep the Faith (Dangerous) – a very gospel choir type of song.  Inspirational, as the title would suggest, with a GREAT build toward the end of the song.

5. Billie Jean (Thriller) – considered one of the greatest songs ever written, and the video is infamous.  Great story line, easy to sing, and anyone who hears the amazing bass line at the beginning immediately knows what song it is.

4. Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough (Off the Wall) – I totally love the quiet dialogue that builds into a very tense but hushed scream to start the song.  Grew to love this song more when I heard a bonus track of Michael and his brothers/sisters playing pots, pans, and random percussion instruments in a living room to lay down the original demo for this song.  It’s crazy good.

3. Scream (History, Disc 2) – incredible song, GREAT video.  If you’ll remember, this was a duet of sorts with sister Janet.  Again, the intensity is what I love about it.

2. Earth Song (History, Disc 2) – unfortunately, not many people are familiar with this song, but it’s an amazing, nearly 7 minute long song where he cries out about how we’re mistreating the earth.

1. Man in the Mirror (Bad) – I have every grunt and scream memorized on this one, along with the words.  Ask me.  I’ll perform it for you on the spot.  I’ll tell more stories about this one next week.

This is actually copied and pasted from one of my pages at the top, but I don’t think anyone ever reads them, so I thought I’d post it.  There are a few updates from the page.  Enjoy.

Favorite Food – Hamburgers

Favorite Movie (All Time) - Braveheart

Favorite Movie (Current) – Slumdog Millionaire

Favorite TV Show (All Time) - The West Wing

Favorite TV Show (Current) - The Office

Favorite TV Show You May Have Never Watched – Sports Night

Favorite Article of Clothing - Shoes With No Laces

Favorite Sports Team – Tiger Woods

Favorite Athelte – Tiger Woods

Favorite Person With an Animal’s Name – Tiger Woods

Favorite Retirement Dream – Traveling all over the world to all the most beautiful, spectacular natural environments … Grand Canyon, Victoria Falls, The Great Barrier Reef, Alaska, Montana, Mayan and Incan Ruins, etc.

Favorite All-Time Music Artist – Michael Jackson

Favorite All-Time Music Group – DC Talk

Favorite Way to Spend a Quarter – 2 pieces of Laffy Taffy

Favorite Drink – (tie) Coke / Sweet Tea

Favorite Restaurant – Cracker Barrell…you always know what to expect, and you always know it’s gonna be good.

Favorite Extra Curricular Activities – Movies, Church, Darts, Reading, Frisbee, Tennis, Enjoying Nature

Favorite Thing About President Obama – Seems to connect with the “common man”

Least Favorite Thing About President Obama – When doing tv interviews, he often comes across as scowling and a little snippy.

Favorite Cereal – Wow, what a tough question.  All time, I would have to say Apple Jacks.

Favorite Worship Song (All Time) – Lord I Lift Your Name on High

Favorite Worship Song (Current) – Jesus Paid It All – updated version from the Everything Glorious Album

Favorite Worship Song That I’ve Rarely Heard Sung in Church – Ancient of Days

Favorite Soap – Irish Spring

Favorite Shampoo – Pert Plus

Favorite Hair Cut – high and tight

Favorite Book (All Time) – Lord of the Flies

Favorite Book (Current) - Blue Like Jazz

Favorite Talk Show – Ellen

Favorite Reality TV Show – (tie) Extreme Home Makeover / So You Think You Can Dance

Favorite Place I’ve Actually Been – Barbados

Favorite Place I’ve Never Been – Idaho

Favorite Bachelor Food – Manwich

Favorite Car (All Time) – Honda CRX

Favorite Car (Current) – Honda Element

Favorite Thing About God – He is Constant, Never Changing

Favorite Slang Word – “sick”

Favorite Place to Eat Wings – Quaker Steak & Lube

Favorite Sandwich – Buffalo Chicken

Favorite Video Game (current) – Tiger Woods Golf, X-Box

Favorite Video Game (all time) – NBA Jam, Sega

Favorite All-Time Tennis Player – Andre Agassi

Favorite Sandwich Bread – Honey Wheat

Favorite Non-Sandwich Bread – Banana Nut

Favorite Character on The Office – Jim Halpert

Favorite TV Show I Hardly Ever Watch – Scrubs

Favorite All Time Baseball Player – Will Clark

Favorite List – Favorite Things

Watched the first half of Bill Maher’s Religulous documentary last week.  It was so obvious what the gist of the documentary was that I didn’t have the motivation to watch the 2nd half.  Here’s the plot:  Maher has candid talks about his religious doubts with people who don’t know how to articulate their faith without sounding dumb or getting angry.  Maher laughs and they look like fools.  Maher moves on to the next person.  The end.

Eli had his annual physical / immunization check up last week.  He got 2 shots in one leg, 2 shots in the other leg, and had blood drawn from his finger.  Poor little guy walked with a limp for 4 days.  These types of things should be bold printed in the introduction of books like “Things to Expect When You’re Expecting.”

As part of a response to a previous post I did about wanting to hear some new music, Bill & Betsy made me 5 mix cd’s with like 80 songs for my birthday.  I’ve only made it through one so far, but I absolutely love it and can’t wait to hear the next four.

I think the name United States has evolved into a serious oxymoron.

The very first cassette tapes I ever owned (back in 1986) were Run DMC’s “Raisin Hell” and The Beastie Boys “License to Ill”.  No joke – in 5th grade, my friend Joseph and I used to go to other 5th and 6th grade classrooms in my elementary school and perform “You Be Illin” by Run DMC.  Our teacher actually set this up for us.

On the non-hit TV show Wipeout, has ANYONE ever made it across the gigantic bouncing balls without falling into the water?  Seriously, why do people even try?  Just leap into the water and start swimming.  It will be faster.

Hey friends.  This is probably going to be a pretty busy blogging week for me.  I’m thinking at least one post each day this week, so I hope you’ll stick with me and come back each day.

First, I have a quiz question for you.  Can you guess which of the peanut butter & chocolate chip granola bars shown below came from Aldi in the Aldi-brand granola bar box, and which one came from Kroger, in the Kroger brand granola bar box?

Wow, we’ve made it all the way to Part 10 of the movie ratings on this blog.  Hard to believe.  That means I’ve rated approximately 45 movies in the last (almost) 2 years.  As a special treat to commemorate the occasion, I have more ratings to share.  And you will like them.  Word.

Gran Torino.  How old does a guy have to get before he ceases to be intimidating?  In Clint Eastwood’s case, I’m guessing it will happen at age 94.  In the meantime, he’ll continue to write, act, direct, and kick ass.  My Rating:  Listen punk.  Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have f**ked with? That’s me.

Watchmen.  This movie can be summed up in 3 words.  Big blue penis.  My Rating:  It was long, it wasn’t very action oriented, it was a little confusing, and it featured a big blue penis.  You make the call.

Don’t Mess With the Zohan.  Never in my life would I have thought hummus could be so funny.  Or racial slurs and profiling.  Or humping old women.  But somehow, against my better judgement, I watched this movie, and actually laughed.  My Rating:  If you’re trying to make a decision between Step Brothers, Don’t Mess With the Zohan, or Superbad…ah hell, it’s a toss up.  They’re all ridiculously crude, wrong, insensitive, and ashamedly funny.

Marley & Me.  I laughed.  Then I went, “awe…..how cute.”   Then I enjoyed some chips and salsa as the story developed.  Then I noticed some lacsadaisical movie making moments.  Then I laughed again.  Then some more time went by………………………..and then I cried.  And cried.  And cried more.  And then had to actually work hard to keep myself from vocally crying out loud.  This was like watching a really great episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition and then having Ty Pennington die in a freak accident at the end of the show.  My Rating:  I’m recommending it.  But I’m stating imperatively that you MUST have a box of tissues nearby.  Don’t test me on this one.

When I wrote several days ago that blogging is becoming obsolete, I had thoughts as to whether or not I had jumped the gun, reacted too quickly.

I’m not so sure now.  Example – in my blogroll to the left there are 14 different people/blogs listed, those friends of mine whose blogs I make sure to read the most regularly.  In the last 7 days, among those 14 blogs, there are a grand total of 7 posts.  That’s 1/2 post per blog over the last 7 days.  And a few of you have not posted in 2 weeks or more.

I know who you are.  You’re smart, well versed, funny, insightful people.  You have more important things to share than what can fit in 1/2 of a post over a 7 day period.  Some of you have many multiples of Facebook updates/comments over that same time period.  I know.  Big Brother is watching.

No man is an island.  I will not blog alone.  I put my heart on the line at least 2-3 times a week, and I have nothing to read in return.  I’m looking for friends, both men and women, who will stand up, open their minds, pour out their hearts, make fun of others and themselves, show ridiculous You Tube videos, and generally entertain me during my breaks at work.

Will you be that person?  Do you have what it takes?  In the totally irrelevant words of William Wallace……..

FREEEEEEEEEDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously.  I have for a long time.  My enjoyment of doo-rags started way back in August of 1990, at the age of 14.  During my first ever missions trip, to Barbados, one of the team members in our group was named Brian.  He was probably 17 or so.  And he wore a doo-rag pretty much every day of the 2 week trip.  I thought it was so cool.  He was a very doo-raggish guy…very laid back, sort of a surfer attitude, easy going.  He had a big mop of hair too, and he wore the doo-rag in the “open” style in the back, where the tail kind of flopped around and his hair flew out of the back…sort of Aunt Jemima style, I would call it.

I’ve never had long enough hair to really make that style work for me, so I’ve always tucked my doo-rags in in the back, so it has a slightly more “skull cap” look, which works for me considering I’m a rap trendster and wanna be gangsta.

I really started my doo-rag craze back in 1994, and sported the look often over the next 3-4 years.  In fact, pictured below are two Camp Calvary photos, the first from 1994 and the second from 1995.  During those two summers I worked as a faculty member at 10 total weeks of camp.  I was always the do-anything guy…lead worship, lead recreation, speak, dorm dad, whatever.  And during all of those camp weeks, I was doo-rag-a-licious.

Just so you’ll know it’s me…here’s a closer look at these two pics.  Notice also that in both pictures, I’m also sporting fashionable “Christian” t-shirts, which I also was big-time into during that period.  From 1994-1997, I probably owned about 20 different Christian t-shirts.

Yes, I understand that – for whatever idiotic reasons – doo-rags are no longer as in style as they once were.  It’s upsetting.  Still, even in my older age, I like to find opportunities to wrap my head in an awesome, comfortable, sexy square of itchy cotton.  Makes me feel younger, cooler, hipper.  In fact, a doo-rag donned my dome back in May of 2008, for one of the first of many Crossings BVD pictures:

In closing, doo-rags are awesome.  You suck if you don’t agree.  And if you decide to wear one…please know that it automatically makes you the hottest, smartest, most Matthew-McConaughey-est person within a 1 mile radius.  Period.

70 degree weather … hamburgers … shorts and a t-shirt … shoes with no shoestrings … mellow yellow … creeks, rivers, waterfalls … frisbee … blockbuster online … sunglasses … rubbermaid storage containers … cereal … mcdonalds … witty humor … epic movies … jalapeno peppers … older (and easier) playstation games … small group … close knit friendships … witnessing my son get bigger and smarter … hamburgers … driving in country settings … worshipping loudly in the car … sports talk radio … sentimental moments … intentional spontaneity … The Office … SNL digital shorts … easy to manage hair … doo rags … frisbee … hamburgers … fiction … assurance of salvation … the scene in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles where the country baccer-chewin boy introduces himself to Steve Martin and John Candy right after spitting out some chew and wiping his mouth with his hand that he then uses to shake Steve Martin’s hand, and then he introduces his wife and tells her to put the guys’ luggage in the truck, then when Steve Martin insists that he can do it himself, the country boy, says, “oh no, she don’t mind.  she’s small, but she’s strong.  our last baby…came out sideways…and she didn’t scream a lick.”