just in case you forgot that Shaq used to rap

Be sure to laugh really hard at the first one.

And be sure to watch for Zeus in the second one.

it’s just me

For the last 11 years, I’ve been convinced that no one could ever be as good as Michael Jordan.  Kobe, to me, simply does not compare.  Michael was much more explosive off the dribble and more ruthless than Kobe.  Not DWade.  He needs to be a couple of inches taller to be able to do more damage, post guys up, etc.  Never Vince Carter.  Total softy.  But now, for the first time, I’m starting to wonder.  I don’t get to watch a lot of the NBA, but everytime I’ve seen Lebron James this year – especially thus far in the playoffs – it’s been nothing short of amazing.  He could end up being the best ever.

Top – Friday face.  Bottom – Monday face.

(Preface – I love teachers.  Teachers are awesome.)

I should have been a teacher.  I can’t think of any other job in America where you get roughly 10 – 12 weeks of vacation per year, plus sick leave days.  According to the handbook, I think I can work my way up to 4 weeks of vacation once I’m at my current job for like 22 years.

The most damning sign that I’m getting old – I now really like using Old Spice after I shave.  Stuff smells awesome.

One nice thing about owning a bottom-of-the-line Hyundai Accent.  You never have to worry about locking the doors.  I mean, seriously, who wants to steal a Hyundai Accent?

bruce pearl – hot trend

I have a gadget on my I-Google home page that shows up-to-date “hot trends” – basically the hot Google searches from around the nation, as they are occuring.

At this moment,  the 4th highest rated hot trend Google Search is Bruce Pearl.  This could have some UT fans worried.

Me, Rob, Bud, & OJ

June, 1994.  I had just recently graduated from high school, and my youth minister, Rob, was one of my closest friends.  On the evening of June 17, which I’m guessing was a Friday or Saturday night, Rob and I were hanging out, doing pretty much nothing.  Which is all there is to do in a farming town of 2500 people.

Not too long before this, in a town next to us called Lebanon, Lebanon Christian Church had hired a new senior minister.  Bud Owens.  Yep.  Bud.  And whatever you probably think of to hear the name “Bud”, he embodied it.  Bud was about 26 years old, big, burly, liked to wear a cowboy hat, drove an old truck, talked country, the works.  Lebanon Christian is my grandparents home church, and we had already worked a week of camp together, so I knew Bud fairly well. 

Anyway, it’s probably 9:00pm, and Rob and I decide to go visit Bud unannounced.  He had been renting this old, run down house in the boonies of Lebanon.  It took us a while to find the house, because we only knew the vicinity it was in, but had never been there.  Finally, probably around 10:00pm, we found the house, and recognized the truck in the driveway, assured we were at the right place. 

It’s dark outside by now, even in June.  We knock on the door.  Knock again, harder.  We hear a sort of grunt in the room on the other side.  Some movement. 

“WHO’S THERE!?” yells a loud, gruff, angry voice on the other side. 

“Bud, it’s me and Jason!” yells Rob. 

“Who!?  What do you want?”  Another angry yell.

“Bud, open the door!  It’s Rob and Jason.  From Springfield.”  At this point, we’re not exactly sure if he just awoke from slumber, doesn’t recognize our voices, or maybe is on drugs. 

“Damn it…hold on!” comes on another yell.  Rob and I are laughing.  Bud’s a weird character.  In fact, he’s still at Lebanon Christian today, 14 years later.  He dated my cousin Dianna once or twice.  She was infatuated with him actually…up until the night they went out.  She was soon un-infatuated. 

Finally, the knob turns.  The door opens.  And Bud is standing on the other side, wearing only a pair of boxes shorts, with a shotgun held to his side, pointed straight at us.  Now, I once shot a guy in the nuts with a bb gun (by accident, true story), but I’d never had a gun pointed at me.  Neither by a friend nor a foe.  Rob and I both jumped to the side of the door, yelling euphamistic profanities at Bud, ensuring him it’s just us, not intruders. 

Bud rubs his eyes, realizes who we are, and as if he had never stood in the door in his boxers with a shotgun trained on us, invited us inside. 

We laughed about the event.  Soon, we headed went into his living room, sat down on an old couch and chair, and Bud proceeded to turn on his 9″ color tv sitting on the coffee table. 

And there it was.  OJ being chased down the interstate in the white Ford Bronco, police cars in pursuit, helicopters flying overhead providing the footage.  The boxers and the shotgun were forgotten as we focused our attention for who knows how long on the bizarre event on the tiny tv screen.  OJ had apparently killed someone, fled the scene, and was now on a futile car chase in southern California. 

A few months later, I remember my roomate Andy (we called him Buddha) and I running full speed back to our dorm room from class to catch the OJ trial and the verdict….not guilty.  I remember feeling stunned, not necessarily knowing if he was guilty or not, just having come to the conclusion that he would be “found” guilty. 

And now, 13 years later, The Juice is off to jail.  I never saw him play, although I did see him act, and he was a bad actor.  I have no personal feelings toward The Juice, only to think it sad that someone of such great stature in the world of sports has fallen so far.  And, at the very least, I’m thankful for the night that he diverted my thoughts from the barrel of a gun, and instead directed them to a 9-inch television.

Sports Thoughts and Other Tidbits

Who among anyone living picked the Tennessee Titans to win 10 or more games this year?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Chad Pennington and the Dolphins (1-15 last season) are actually battling Brett Favre (retired, unretired, took Pennington’s job) and the New York Jets for the division lead/title.  I love it.

Misty May Treanor is the best volleyball player maybe ever.  Indoor or outdoor.  Incredible instincts, fast, smart, soft touch, good placement.  Plays many dozens of beach volleyballs matches a year.  Fought through the Olympics with her playing partner and won the gold medal…..then goes on a freaking dancing show and tears her achillis tendon.  That’s just not fair, man.  Not fair at all.

I enjoy keeping up with NASCAR.  There’s a lot of good intrigue, some fights, arguments, great characters, funny advertising.  I appreciate what they do and the risk they take.  But I swear I cannot watch more than 7 laps of action without just lapsing (pun intended) into complete boredom. 

I love it when new people join the Saturday Night Live cast.  Literally, just last week, two new women were introduced as “featured” players on the show.  And in the entire episode I think they garnered 8 seconds of screen time and spoke 9 words.  How funny is that?!  It’s fun to watch the newbies because you know they’re nervous, fighting for a job, hoping to be the next Will Ferrell or Molly Shannon.  I’ve seen some newbies I thought would be the next big thing and turned out to be disappointing (aka Fred Armisen).  I’ve seen other newbies who I didn’t care much for who’ve ended up being great (aka Seth Meyers, but only because of Weekend Update).  And…who’s with me here…how in the world is Keenan Thompson still on SNL?  This is his FIFTH season.  AAAHHHH.  Please, please, please, get a new black guy.  I’m begging you.

Greg Oden needs a good nickname.  I have some suggestion.  “Limpy”, “Crow Mag Num Man”, “Papaw”, “Greg the Leg Oden”, “The Tortoise”, “Needacane?”, “Sam Bowie, Jr”

A guy more diminutive than me just won the NL Cy Young Award.  Mr. Tim Lincecum ladies and gentleman, all 5′11″ and 170 lbs of him.  Unfortunately, because he plays for San Franciso, it’s possible you’ve never watched him pitch.  You’re loss.  It’s amazing.  It’s sort of like when you wind a pencil around and around a rubber band until you can’t wind it anymore, and then let ‘er fly. 

We’ve been into watching TV series that are out of DVD for about 4 months.  First it was Weeds.  Then Dexter.  Now we’re in the middle of both Six Feet Under and Madmen.  Man, this is the way to watch a tv series.  The waiting a week crap stinks.  Two Sundays ago, Erin and I watched FIVE episodes of Six Feet Under in one afternoon/evening.  It was incredible.  Up for future consideration, once we’re done with these….Flight of the Conchords, The Closer, The Shield, Entourage, and Arrested Development.

The last 3-4 weeks of fall have been the most beautiful I think I’ve ever seen.  And now it’s gone.  The orange, auburn, red, and yellow have pretty much all turned to brown.  The trees are beginning to look bare.  Low 60’s have been replaced by mid 40’s to lower 50’s.  Every year, I have to remind myself to really breathe in the beauty of fall.  It’s so amazing, but goes by so fast.  Luckily, now we’ve entered another 3-4 period of time in the year….the period in which I eat enough pumpkin pie to last until next year.  Loaded with Cool Whip.  Oh man, I’m so pumped.

More Sports Thoughts

In my sports thoughts from a month ago, I pondered how the Cubs might choke away their title hopes.  I kind of thought they would choke (it’s just what they do), I just didn’t expect it to be on a giant hunk of t-bone with no chance of recuscitation.  Whoa.

The NBA will be up and running soon.  From 1984 to 1998, the NBA experienced The Jordan Era, most likely the greatest, most entertaining, and well played basketball that we may ever see.  Then, from 1998 to 2005, we’ll call that The Thug Era.  Arrests, tattoos, fights, punks, and totally sloppy, one on one basketball ruled the nation.  But then, a ray of light.  2005 to 2008 has brought us Lebron, the Phoenix Suns, Dwayne Wade, Steve Nash, a championship for KG, the New Orleans Hornets, Chris Paul, and a relatively mature Allen Iverson, who at 32 is still faster and more sick than most 22 year old NBA players will ever be.  I’m starting to care again.  I just don’t really have a team, and that makes it hard.  And I don’t have cable, which means I can watch about 1 game a week, at most, if I’m so inclined.  COME ON NBA, GRAB ME, PULL ME, MAKE ME LOVE YOU AGAIN!!  That’s all I’m asking.

After the Mariners in 2001 – most wins ever in the regular season, see-ya-wouldn’t-wanna-be-ya in the playoffs – and this years Cubs, it’s sort of hard to remember that Lou Pinella won a ring with the Reds way back in 1990, the same year he got ejected from a game then pulled first base out of the ground and flung it, ala Bobby Knight, into the outfield.  Then picked it up, and flung it again.  Awesome.

Lance Armstrong is coming out of retirement to race again.  Old guys coming out of retirement is a 50/50 shot, man.  Some kill it, others get killed.  Where do you put your money on them?  Jordan, Roger Clemens, Brett Farve, Allan Houston, Rickey Henderson, Muhammad Ali, Martina Navritalova (at age 47 no less), Charles Oakley, Ricky Williams.  It’s a coin flip.  Lance is the greatest cyclist ever, but it’s been like 4 years, and this is not an event where you can pace yourself and take a day off every now and then.  However, it’ll probably be cool having his bud Matthew McConaughy cheering him on along the side of the road, showing off his pecs and playing the bongos nude. 

20-something year old PGA golfer in the 1980’s – 5′9″, 180 lbs, clean cut hair, green or plaid pants, cotton shirt with collar, hits the ball about 260, goes and gets a beer after the round, has to “pay his dues” to be respected on the tour.  If he plays well, will make about $100,000 to $150,000 a year in earnings and endoresements.   

20-something year old PGA golfer in 2008 – 6′1″, 170 lbs, gets all the media attention, wears $1000.00 outfits that look like they came from Banana Republic and then were dyed in pastel colors, wears only 100% polyester clothing, eats only chicken and salad, hits the ball about 305, and heads to his next media event after the round to promote one of his 14 sponsors.  Regardless of whether he plays well, will make about $2,000,000 to $10,000,000 a year in earnings and endorsements.

Does anyone reading this actually place real bets on sports?  Other than the very occasional $5.00 office pool, I have not.  I used to sell cars with a dude who had about $2000 to $3000 riding on various college and pro games every weekend.  He’d be at the dealership on Sundays, and never once speak to a customer because all he could do is check his computer or phone for sports updates.  I’m slowly starting to believe that this is much more common than I ever thought.  Maybe not to that scale, financially, as I’m sure most betters have more like $500 a week floating, but more in the regular habit of it. 

The Titans have an old Kerry Collins and pretty much no one else that you’ve ever heard of or can recall a statistic for, and they’re 5-0.  Indy has Peyton, Marvin, Reggie, Addai.  The Patriots have everyone back but Brady.  The Vikings have all-day Peterson.  The Saints have Drew Brees and Reggie Bush.  The Chargers have LT.  And they’re all struggling to play .500 football.  It’s probably what I love most about the NFL.  It’s the one professional sport, where, truly, from game to game, week to week, ANYBODY can beat ANYBODY, and every single game makes a huge difference.  A 2-4 record in basketball, baseball, or hockey pretty much means absolutely nothing, nada, squat.  A 2-4 record in the NFL is do or die time, pull up your jock strap time, eat your Campbell’s Chunky soup time, play every game like it’s your last time, because the chances are that you’re looking at heading home to play golf in December.

Sports Thoughts

I didn’t see the Patriots game yesterday.  But it turns out the sound I heard outside our home yesterday wasn’t a jumbo jet flying overhead.  It was the ominous groan of fear eminating from the New England coast. 

I love Peyton Manning.  But it’s hard to admit he’s no Tom Brady.  With aging receivers and a continued mediocre defense, he’ll be hard pressed to put up Peyton-type numbers this year.  I’m thinking the Colts will be lucky to go 9-7. 

Today’s radio programming on the local sports talk station, The Sports Animal 990am:  6:00am – 10:00am, The Doc, Jeff, & Heather Show.  Topics of discussion?  UT sports and SEC football.  10:00am to Noon, The Sports Page.  Topics?  UT sports and SEC football.  Noon – 3:00pm, Sports Talk with Josh and John.  Topics?  UT sports and SEC football.  3:00pm to 7:00pm, Sports Talk with John & Jimmy.  Topics?  Yep, you guessed it.  UT sports and SEC football.  It makes me sick. 

This may sound a little feminine to say, but watching Roger Federer is almost like watching Brian Boitano with a tennis racket.  Graceful, smooth, never seems to be exerting effort, yet nearly flawless. 

Does it really require 162 baseball games during the regular season to figure out who belongs in the playoffs when it only requires 16 in the NFL and 82 in the NBA?  I mean, 162 games in 180 days during the heat of summer?  I like baseball, but if the games are much slower and the season much longer, I might almost rather hibernate than to keep up with it. 

If you ever meet a guy who competes in synchronized swimming, punch him.

If it wasn’t for the money, being an NFL player might suck.  Could you imagine playing a sport, working out, sweating, fighting, training, and spending 10 years of your life working as hard as you can to be the best you can be … in order to have an 8 year career that leaves you beaten up, injured, and in some type of physical pain for the rest of your life?  Hats off to those dudes.

Question of the year:  What way will the Cubs discover to choke away their title hopes?

Will there ever be another Bo Jackson or Deion Sanders?

Watching PGA golf without Tiger Woods is like going to a Cracker Barrell that doesn’t serve sweet tea…like turning on the Olympics and the only coverage is the air rifle prelimary rounds…like going to a baseball game featuring the Royals vs the Marlins…like going to a Passion conference only to find out that Tomlin, Crowder, Redman, and Hall all caught the flue, and you’re stuck with Don Moen for the weekend…like taking a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Indonesia, but not having known ahead of time it was monsoon season.

I like sports.

Questions

Is Michael Phelps really the greatest Olympian EVER? 

When did Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen (one of them was on Weeds, season 3) go from being cute teen actresses to scary-looking, drugged up freakazoids?

I definitely lean more Democratic than Republican…but is anyone else as scared about Barak Obama as I am?

Things from the 70’s seem to keep coming back into style.  So will somebody please remake the Volkswagon Thing?

I had two vacation days scheduled for the end of this week.  I cancelled them because there’s so much going on at work I can’t keep up.  Does that mean I’m stupid and just working too much or that I’m a good, loyal employee?

Did anyone else really enjoy school lunch when they were growing up?  I did. 

If you a had a choice between a slow & glitchy computer or a gun to your head, which would you choose?  (think hard before deciding)

Has anyone ever done the math to figure out exactly how many animals were on the Ark?  We know the dimensions, right?  So we can calculate the floor space?  And we can estimate the size of various animals?  And therefore can’t we reasonably guess how many different types were on board? 

Is the Roman Catholic Church still universally relevant?

At what age will Tom Cruise actually start looking old?

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim embark on a sightseeing race across the state of North Dakota.  Which one dies of boredom first?

If I was a girl …

… I would totally be in love with Michael Phelps.  What an athlete.  Pretty much the only reason I have any interest in the 2008 Olympics – that and the smog.  Who doesn’t love smog?

Let It Be Known …

to all the world, to the great blogosphere, to anyone at Crossings who might understand and care …

the great, amazing, unstoppable, unbeatable, undefeated world champion Corn Toss team of Dustin & Bill are NO LONGER undefeated. 

Major props to my teammate Ben Fair.  Way to bring it brother.

Earn $5,143.52 Per Minute!

DeSagana Diop, a 7 foot tall NBA center, just signed a 5 year contract with the Dallas Mavericks for a total of $31,000,000.00….or 6.2 million a year.  You’re thinking…wow, that’s a LOT of money, especially for a guy I’m not even sure I’ve heard of!  Well, you’re right.  Let me break it down for you.  Diop has played 7 full NBA seasons.  Wanna know his “career” stats?  Here they are:

14.7 minutes per game … 43% field goal percentage … 52% free throw percentage … 1.2 blocks per game … 3.9 rebounds per game… 2.1 points per game.  That’s right.  For 6 million a year, the guys scores 2 points, gets 4 rebounds, plays 15 minutes, and shoots 52% from the free throw line. 

Let’s break it down further.  This season, let’s ASSUME he plays in all 82 games (he’s only averaged playing in 62 games each season over his career).  And let’s ASSUME he plays to his career averages.  With those assumptions in mind, we reach these earnings conclusions.  Diop will earn…

$75,609 per game  OR  $63,007 per blocked shot  OR  $36,004 per point scored  OR  $19,386 per rebound  OR  $5,143.52 per minute he spends on the court in a game.  Or, to put it more personally, Diop, in ONE MINUTE of action, will earn more than I do in 300 HOURS of work.  And, frankly, that pisses me off.

BVD Tour Stop XIX – Disc Golf – The Final Frontier

Okay, this post will complete EVERY BVD photo I’ve taken to date.  There are no more.  And unless some really, really, really good photo opportunties present themselves, there could very well be no more.  We’ll see.

Back in early 1999, Greg and I decided to give disc golf a try.  We knew nothing about it, except that, at the time, he lived pretty much across the road from a 9 hole course (Admiral Park) here in Knoxville.  We went to Play It Again Sports, randomly picked 1 disc each, having no clue as to what we were choosing, except that they said “DRIVER”, which sounded like they would travel a long way, and off we went.  What began as curiousity soon bloomed into a several months obsession.  I would say we played Admiral Park, on average, at least twice a week.  We got better.  We got new discs.  We lost discs in the woods.  We found other ones.  We practiced.  We ended up making a couple of day long trips to Warrior’s Path in Kingsport to play a true, professional style course.  It was awesome.  And then it ended.  And then, until last summer, I basically had not played in roughly 8 years.  I’m not obsessed anymore.  I realize my limitations.  But it’s still a fun sport. 

So, in recognition of my disc golf roots, I took a short photo tour of Admiral Park.  It was a little dark and a little muddy the day I went out, so I didn’t walk though all of the wooded areas to take photos.  I did however take a picture of hole number 1 (where I’m holding the BVD) and hole number 2 (where there is both a shot of the basket, and a shot back through the woods while I’m standing beside the basket – oh yeah, and that’s where I record my first and only disc golf hole in one!).  The other shots are mainly open field areas of the course.  And notice I’ve circled any baskets that were visible in the shots.  Overall, it’s short and fun course, and a great place to learn to play. 

Another cool note.  The day I went to take the photos (during my lunch break), there were two guys teeing off on the first hole.  I asked if they would take my picture.  The guy who took it asked about the BVD’s.  I told him.  He said, “Oh, where do you go to church?”.  I told him.  He said, “oh yeah, Mark Nelson is your pastor right?  I know Mark.  We’ve met at Panera’s a couple of times and played some disc golf together.”  His name was Jeff Fulmer, who’s a pastor at another “portable” church here in Knoxville, Mountain Ridge.  Wild, huh?  But that kind of stuff has been happening throughout the BVD Tour, so I shouldn’t be surprised.  Anyway…enjoy the photos…and thanks for having supporting the tour.  It’s been fun.

 

BVD Tour Stop VI

Time: Approximately 11:55pm  …  Place: West Hills/YMCA Tennis Courts …  (Front Row): The Golden BVD  …  (Back Row L to R): Bill Wolf, Jason Edelen, Greg Adkins

This was taken by the camera (on a tripod) after about 2 1/2 hours of grueling tennis action with my Tuesday night darts & tennis small group.  Yep, we are a darts and tennis small group.  Daniel Watson was there too, but had left for home before I remembered that the BVD and camera were in my car.  Sorry dude, didn’t mean to leave you out.

Pimp Smack

Listen up Clones…for the first time ever, I got to hear almost all of the annual Jim Rome “smack off” today.  And it was FREAKING AWESOME.  Just the idea that a bunch of loser, sport-talk junkies (like myself), can concentrate long enough to write a no-suck-take and actually deliver it over the airwaves, with millions of people listening, without spontaneously barfing into their post-lunch bowl of Frosted Flakes, gives me hope.  With callers like Vic in No-Call, Doc Mike, Greg in Vegas, Silk, Iafrate, Jay Moir (yes, the comedian), Rachel (ERRRR!!) Rodney in Houston, that sumbitch Bodie from Texas, and Terrance from Sierra Madre, how can you go wrong? 

The winner?  Iafrate (pronounced I-A-Fraitee), his second such win in the smack off, with his first coming in 2004.  I’ve written a couple of takes in the past and tried to get through to the show (not during the smack off), but after over an hour on hold each time, I sadly hung up.  Listening to the smack off today has resparked my interest in giving it another try.  I need a moniker though.  Something better than Jason in Knoxville.  Something like Jaybo from K-Town, Silent Killa (and I would never talk loud or yell), or Mother Hubbard (sike).

Anyway, War Pacman getting beat up by a scrip-club bouncer.  War black box offering containers.  And War my small group not hitting any more moving (or parked) cars and making the driver of said moving car angry while we throw frisbee in the apartment area parking lot before Bible study.  I’m out.

ncaa heinz ketchup bracket update

First round: 15 of 32 winners, 15 total points
Second round: 9 of 16 winners, 18 total points

Recap: My first round was going okay, then went sour in a hurry. Still, I successfully picked 9 of the Sweet 16 teams, including Davidson and Villanova.

Current point total is 33 points. Not bad for the flip of a Heinz Ketchup packet

my ncaa heinz ketchup bracket

I did not enter an NCAA bracket pool. I will lose if I do. But here’s how I filled out my personal bracket for this year:

I automatically picked each #1 seed to go to the Sweet 16. For all other games, from the 1st round through the championship game, I flipped a Heinz ketchup packet. If it landed ketchup-bottle-picture up, I chose the team at the top of each bracket. If it landed white-side up, I chose the team at the bottom of each bracket.

At this time, I’m currently 11 for 20 on my Heinz ketchup packet picks. My Final Four are Notre Dame, Villanova, Temple (oops), and UCLA. And I have Temple (oops) beating Notre Dame in the final game. Oh, the craziness of March Madness!

that’s just ____ being ____

Here’s a thought….when someone refers to Manny Ramirez with the phrase, “That’s just “Manny Being Manny”, they mean he’s being aloof, doing something that’s funny but hurts his team, making up his own rules, etc.

Now, insert your name. If someone says, “Ah, that’s just (your name) being (your name)”, what would they mean by that?

For instance, if someone were to say, “That’s just Jason being Jason”, here are a few things I at least think they might mean:

• “He just pulled a well-conceived prank on somebody…and got them really good” (ask my co-workers on this one, they’ll confirm)
• “He was just trying to be witty but ended up coming across as a jackass”
• “He’s in a bad mood for some unknown reason…it’s not like he’s actually mad at you”
• “He just made a comment or observation that was totally out of left field, but actually somewhat insightful”
• “He can be a little bit of a control freak, just live with it and move on”
• “He said something really funny, but you had to think for a minute to get it”

I’m sure there’s more that could be added to that. Some good, some bad. So…think for a minute…what would it mean if someone said that phrase about you?

manny being manny

Manny Ramirez makes me laugh. Amazing baseball player. 490 career home runs. .313 career batting average. 2200 hits. 1600 RBI’s. The most postseason home runs of any player in history. Amazingly powerful swing. Always wears a do-rag under his helmet to keep is dreadlocks tidy. Says pretty much whatever is on his mind, regardless of the consequences. Dude makes $17,000,000.00 a year in salary. He’s possibly the best right-handed slugger in the history of the game.

But he doesn’t run. He loofs around in the outfield. He never hustles. Just last night he should have scored from 2nd on a single by Mike Lowell, but he decides to slow down to take his helmet off, doesn’t beat the throw, and refuses to slide into home – instead just running into the tag. Then, a few innings later, he hits (what he thinks) is a home run….decides to pretty much walk to first base….and then it hits the top of the wall and comes back into play. Could have had a triple. Ends up with a single.

Wouldn’t you think if you’d hit roughly 500 home runs in your career, you would know the difference between a ball that was definitely a home-run, and one that was borderline? Come on, Manny. For $17,000,000, the least you can do is run.

corn toss…an old west folklore tradition?

This weekend, we went to Kentucky to visit family and see our newest nephew/cousin, Grayson, who is only 3 weeks old. On Sunday, we began our drive back to Tennessee. Not long after leaving my sister & brother-in-law’s, we drove through a town named Columbia. It has one of those cool, old timey town “circles” where there’s a big circle in the middle of town with 4 or 5 roads that branch off from it in different directions. We saw the following sign while driving on this circle:

Just to be clear, it says “Downtown Days – Folklore of the Old West Festival”. Cool, huh? A little town festival. We had these kinds of things in my home town growing up. Vendors and food stands set up. People walking around, enjoying the town. Pretty neat theme too, “Folklore of the Old West.” You would expect to see people dressed in Old West costumes, cowboys and indians, maybe some big black kettles cookin up some stew for lunch on the sidewalk.

But no. As we head down our branch off of the town circle, this is what we see:

I’m kidding, right? No. It in fact does say, “Corn Toss – Register Here.” Hmm. This must be some Old West version that we’ve never seen before, right? Maybe they take big ears of corn and throw them through tire swings hanging from old oak trees. Maybe in the 1800’s men filled canvas bags with corn and heaved them over wooden fences in an effort to build strength and stroke their egos.

But no. This is what was happening:

That’s right. A full-blown Corn Toss Tournament. From what I could see, there were 8 Corn Toss matches going on simultaneously. There was even a small crowd of spectators cheering on their friends and family. The matches were important enough that the parking lot was sealed off with top-grade, bright-yellow Caution tape.

Way to go, Columbia, Kentucky. It’s nice to know there’s a place with people who have the courage to elevate Corn Toss to the level it deserves. You’ve captured the spirit of the Old West and made our early settlers proud. I say again, way to go, Columbia, Kentucky.

who says disc golf is a sissy sport?

Some of you who’ve read my recent disc golf addiction post are probably thinking, “wow you go out in a field and throw a frisbee, big deal”. How wrong you are. There are many terrifying dangers in disc golf. Thorn bushes, throws across water, mosquitos, being embarrassed by far more talented teenage players, and (as you can see above) getting your disc stuck in a tree. In the last week, I’ve experienced all of these dangers, and I have the bruised ego and annoying scratches to prove it. A sissy sport? Yeah, right. Let’s see Peyton Manning try it.

disc golf addiction

I’m addicted to disc golf … again. Took up the “sport” in 1999 as a complete novice, loved it, and played it ALL the time. Was pretty good, I guess. Got burned out, life changed, yada yada.

Went out again this past Sunday for the first time in years, and was embarrassed by some friends from church. They were good. I stunk it up. But it rekindled the flame. Bought 3 new discs on Monday, played Tuesday during lunch, played today during lunch. Already my old skills are coming back to me. It’s awesome! Maybe Erin (my lovely wife) will let me play after work…and then maybe again this weekend. If I’m lucky, maybe she’ll start using it as a way to shoo me away if she’s mad at me for some reason…”I’m mad at you right now. Why don’t you just go play disc golf or something!” On second thought, that may not be good logic.

Interested in playing? Check out this database of courses. I’m sure it’s not 100% complete, but it lists over 2400 courses, so maybe there’s one near you! In a way, it’s kind of like tennis….all you’ll need to do is invest about $30.00 in 3-4 discs, and go play as much as you want. It’s great. (yeah, right) Seriously, go find some discs. You’ll thank me. (you do realize all it is..) Yes, I know it consists of throwing weird, hard plastic discs at chain linked baskets. If you haven’t tried it, you just don’t understand. (yeah, just like I don’t understand soccer or hockey or Big Brother 8 on CBS) Fine. I get your point.

take me out to the ballgame

Last night Eli & I went to a Tennessee Smokies baseball game (AA affiliate for the Cubs). Eli actually got to throw out one of the first pitches – although the friend from work using my camera didn’t get a shot of the actual throw. Eli actually threw the ball from about 10 feet in the front of the pitchers mound, and it made it all the way to the catcher on a straight line, about half in the air and half way on the ground. It’s really a fantastic ballpark for a AA team. We left after the 6th inning, although we probably only watched about 1 inning of actual baseball. Sort of a slow game for a 3 year old to focus on, I guess.