Movie Ratings – Part III

Posted: June 30, 2008 in humor, tv & movies

As much as I liked my movie rating scale, I’ve already come to find it too limiting.  So, since this is MY blog and MY movie ratings, I’ve decided to rate the movies however I see fit.  If you don’t like it, tough.  But please keep reading anyway, because I don’t want you to leave.  That would suck. 

Kung Fu Panda.  “Skadoosh” is my new favorite word.  Did you know that Beauty & The Beast is the only animated movie EVER to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Picture?   Now that animated movies have their own Oscar category, that just doesn’t happen anymore.  With movies like Kung Fu Panda, Wall E, Cars, and other incredible animated movies, it’s time to change that rule.  My Rating:  Did you like Cars, Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Ratatouille, & Monsters Inc?  Then you’ll definitely like this.

Juno.  I’ll be honest.  I liked it, but I sort of expected it to be even better.  Ellen Page was good, but I had a hard time seeing her as a 16 year old.  She looks young, but she acts SO old.  Almost like a 1990’s Natalie Portman, but even MORE adult-like, if that’s possible.  Jason Bateman was great, and the overall story was really good.  Wanna see Ellen Page in an incredible role?  Check out Hard Candy.  That one will shock you.  My Rating:  If you watch it because you noticed it was nominated for Best Picture last year, it’s about a B.  If you watch it because you love those lower budget films with a great cast, good stories, and believable characters, then it’s more like an A–

Fool’s Gold.  If you’ve already seen this movie, there are probably 2 reasons for it.  One, you think Matthew McConaughey is hot and will watch any movie he’s in (not a bad reason).  Two, you’re a guy and your girlfriend or wife thinks Matthew McConaughey is hot and wants to see any movie he’s in (again, not a bad reason).  My Rating:  ESPN, mowing the yard, The Neverending Story, baking a cake, Dazed and Confused, vacuuming, and Secret Admirer would all be better choices.

Funny Games.  Spoiler Alert….it’s not funny.  Not at all.  It’s mean, scary, hard to watch, weird, gruesome, odd, and kooky all rolled into one.  Problem is, it just isn’t really  that good.  And what’s up with Naomi Watts’ career?  My Rating:  If you need something different to watch, try it out.  But ultimately, you’d be better off renting The Ring, and once again be reminded at how freaking scary THAT movie was

Jesus Camp.  Okay (with a straight face), how you can you not wanna watch a film that features 10 year old kids speaking in tongues and rolling around on the floor in the Spirit?  I don’t know what to say about this film.  Honestly, I just don’t quite understand why it was made and released mainstream.  Was it to make fun of the Jesus Camp?  Was it to shed some kind of light on something?  Was it an honest promotion?  I don’t get it.  My Rating:  If you’re a Christian, and you’ve seen the promos, you know you wanna see it, just to see if it’s as ridiculous as it looks.  So do it.  You may not like it, but at least your curiosity will be served.

  1. Kristin says:

    I’m glad you expanded your rating system. It makes me laugh!

  2. Jason says:

    anything I can do to encourage you to actually comment is well worth it! =)

  3. bill says:

    you thought the characters in juno were believable? i did not. well, maybe most of the characters were believable. but i didn’t like the movie because i COULD NOT believe either ellen page’s character or her best friend. maybe i’m too out of touch, but i don’t believe high schoolers actually say things like “honest to blog”. i just thought a lot of the dialogue was way over written.

  4. Jason says:

    i thought dad, step mom, boyfriend, and jason bateman/jennifer garner were all good, funny, believable, real characters. But i agree….juno and her sleeps-with-teachers best friend were not. again, my main problem with the movie is that ellen page simply acts too old for the role. i think she’d be better playing a 26 year old than a 16 year old. and, yeah man, the dialogue was really crazy. too many “inside” phrases with cliche statements and cultural references I just didn’t quite get. however…i don’t have a clue was skadoosh means, but i totally love that word!

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