Movie Ratings – Part XI

Posted: June 3, 2009 in tv & movies

At some point, I’ll become unsure of the Roman Numeric values of the movie ratings, which will force me to quit this series.  But I’m pretty certain that XI = 11, so we’re good for now.  Enjoy.

Terminator Salvation.  First impression – I realize this is partly the control of the movie theater, but this was the loudest movie I can remember seeing in the theater since the storming-the-beach scene in Saving Private Ryan back in 1997.  Second impression – Christian Bale basically acted like an even meaner version of Batman, which is to say he didn’t do much acting, just mean looks and a growling voice.  Third impression – some of the coolest special effects I’ve ever seen.  My Rating:  I can hardly remember anything about Terminator 1, Terminator 2, or Terminator 3 and still wanted to see this movie.  That’s weird.

Step Brothers.  Tea bagging.  Nuff said.  My Rating:  Will Ferrell, you’re a legitimately funny person.  You really are.  Will you please, please, please, please, please stop acting in every ridiculous dumb ass movie that comes your way, and start making more lasting choices.  And John C Reilly, you’re an awesome actor.  You were in Magnolia, one of my favorite movies ever.  Why are you getting dragged into this crap?  Help me understand!

Role Models.  Did you laugh at American Pie, Superbad, Napolean Dynamite, Dumb and Dumber, or the 40 Year Old Virgin?  Then, chances are, you’ll laugh at Role Models.  This movie was pretty much as vulgar as the previews made it out to be, but it ended up being MUCH funnier than I expected.  Sean William Scott is definitely a type cast actor, but he’s come a hell of a long way since Dude, Where’s My Car?.  My Rating:  It’s one of those movies you kind of feel guilty for laughing so hard at….just like American Pie, Superbad, Napolean Dynamite, Dumb and Dumber, and The 40 Year Old Virgin.

The Bucket List.  Two old guys keep getting older.  And before they die, they want to accomplish some things in life.  It stars Jack Nicholas and Morgan Freeman, so you kind of want to see it regardless.  And it made me think of my own bucket lists in life…things I wanted to accomplish before I turned 25, before I turned 30, before I turn 35.  Like those fellas, I’ve done almost none of it.  So I’m hoping that when I’m 70 and have a little more expendable income, my list will become a reality – skydiving, owning a jet ski, seeing Michael Jackson in concert, smuggling illegal immigrants in from Mexico, eating REAL Chinese food, and playing golf at Pebble Beach, just to name a few.  My Rating:  Sorry, I got so caught up in the thought of seeing Michael Jackson in concert, I forgot what the movie was about.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Guys, if you watch it just to see Kristen Bell or Mila Kunis spend half the movie in a bikini, then it’s worth watching.  Ladies, if you watch it just to see Russell Brand nearly naked on several occasions, it’s worth watching.  Fortunately, you’ll have the added bonus of seeing a movie that is legitimately funny, entertaining, fairly original, and absolutely worth enduring as far as chick flicks are concerned.  My Rating:  Maybe you didn’t see the earlier part … Kristen Bell and Mila Kunis very often in bikinis.  Russell Brand often nearly naked.  And Jason Segal pretty much doing what he does comedically, which becomes slightly tiring after a while but mostly works.  Just see it, already.

  1. jeph says:

    you felt bad laughing at napolean dynamite and dumb and dumber?

    i’ve begun a rule of thumb the last 2 years: NEVER see an R-rated comedy. “something about mary” changed everything and we’ve gone downhill since.

    now get out there and see the new trek and tell me what you think.

  2. Michael Cody says:

    I would totally see the Dracula musical if it were real.

  3. Jason says:

    I felt bad laughing at Napolean Dynamite because it was so ridiculously dumb…yet funny. Dumb and dumber – the blind boy, the dead bird, and the toilet scene made me feel bad.

    If the Dracula musical were real, I’m sure you’d probably be in it as opposed to just watching it.

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