questions

some questions I’ve been working through, pondering, dealing with recently…

How is it that I’ve forgotten so much of Eli’s childhood already? We’ve never had a video camera, and for his first two years, we didn’t have a digital camera either, so his baby years aren’t extremely well documented.  But even now as I try to think back to his first crawl, walk, words, etc…it’s all so fuzzy.

How can I love God so much, yet at times be such a wretched person? And knowing that David, Jacob, Solomon, and the like did bad things doesn’t help.  There are times when I can’t believe the mean, selfish, thoughtless things I do, and question my true love for God.

Do people REALLY get sent to hell? I worked for a couple of years with a guy (he was 50 yrs old at the time) who was a man of faith, and truly believed that all mankind would be in heaven, that God was a God of such deep, fierce, unimaginable love, that He would bring all peoples, past, present and future, to live for eternity with Him.  He didn’t share this thought much, because other people would break into arguments with him.  But when he and I talked about it a couple of times, I have to say he made a convincing argument.

At what point will scientific breakthroughs and discoveries cease? Is it possible, that at some point, we will have discovered and invented and researched all there is in the world of science?

God, can you please help me fathom the reaches and intricacies and awe of the universe?

Is God actually still active in the lives of humans today…..or does life just happen as it happens, and we sometimes attribute things to the hand of God?

What will my son be like when’s he’s 20 years old? Will he still believe, and have his own faith?  Will he be a good person or a bad person, and how much of that will have to do with my fathering?

Why is my left foot about 1/3 of a size larger than my right foot? It’s not cool, because it makes finding a good fitting pair of shoes more difficult.

Is it possible to do anything in life without some type of selfish motivation involved?

I’d really, really love to know if it was 7 literal days, 7 geological eras, 7 “God” days, or maybe even a big bang.

How old would Michael Jordan have to be before I could beat him in a game of 21?

What were some of Jesus’ favorites? Favorite food?  Color?  Time of day?  Season of the year?  Old Testament story?

Will my questions really be answered in heaven, or will I really not give a crap once I’m there?

an evil trick

My small group is reading / discussing the Donald Miller book Blue Like Jazz on Monday nights.  I realize that this is by no means the new must-read in the world of Christian faith….it’s been out for several years, and I’m not sure if there’s  a pastor on earth who hasn’t read it.

But only 2 of us in small group had ever read it, and for me it was nearly 3 or so years ago, so I’ve forgotten most of it.  And whether you like the content or not, it makes for great discussion.

In chapter 2 – which we discussed last night – Miller writes…

“I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man’s mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God.”

Reading this again impacted me profoundly.

By my estimation, I am awake approximately 120 hours each week, give or take an hour.  I spend about 9 of those hours driving to and from places, including work.  I spend most of those hours listening to sport talk radio.  I spend 45 – 50 of those hours actually at work.  About 6 of those hours are spent cooking, cleaning, doing chores around the house.  Typically about 9 – 10 hours each week are spent at Crossings and/or at small group.

At this point, there are at least 45 hours leftover.  Let’s safely assume that at least 10 of those hours are spent watching television….some weeks as many as 18 hours.  A couple of hours each week to travel to Walmart and do grocery shopping, and we’re still left with 20-25 hours remaining.

Now let’s ask the tough questions. How many hours each week do I spend engaging God – including time at church and small group?  (Answer – maybe 3 hours?)

How many hours do I spend truly engaging my son, reading books with him, playing with toys, taking him to ride his bike?  (Answer – probably another 3 hours?)

How many hours do I spend engaging my wife, talking, turning off the tv, and just being attentive to her as a husband and friend?  (Answer – another 2 – 3 hours?)

This sh*t has to stop.  The truth is, each week I probably spend more time driving in my car, listening to sports talk, than I spend in authentic relationship with God, my wife, and my son COMBINED.  I spend 5 times more time watching television than I do reading a book.  I’ve spent nearly as much time drafting this blog post as I have in one-on-one prayer with the Father in the last few days.

The devil has had an evil trick up his sleeve, and he’s caught me hook, line and sinker.

God help me.

Brett Favre is Calling Your Mom

Not really, I just was reading about the Brett Favre scandel earlier, and that headline (not real, my own made up one) was stuck in my head.

I went for 2 months with no caffeine or soda of any kind.  Then I went on an 8 day work trip to Wisconsin and Indiana at the very end of July.  On that trip, I drank some authentic Wisconsin brewed Root Beer (Sprecher’s) that was amazing.  That ended my streak.  Then, for some odd reason, I started drinking an occasional cappuccino from the Pilot gas stations.  So, over the last 6 weeks or so, I’ve had several cappuccinos, and I’ve consumed a few Coke’s and sweet teas.  However, I can tell I’ve already gained back about 4 pounds, and the caffeine is noticeable in ways I do not care for, so I’m trying hard to rid myself again before it get worse.

Went camping two weekends ago with some guys from my small group.  It was our 2nd annual guys small group camping weekend.  Weather was amazing.  Ryan and Chris brought enough firewood for 2 weekends.  And I only consumed 5 hot dogs this year….as opposed to the 8 or 9 that I ate last year at the camp out.  For some reason, all I want to eat when I go camping is hot dogs.  And then all I want to do for the 2 days after camping is wish that I didn’t eat all those hot dogs.

Eli lost his first tooth (pictured).  I remember pulling loose teeth as a kid.  Don’t really remember my first, but I remember a few.  And I remember always wanting them just to dry up and fall out on their own.  I was scared to death to actually pull them out.  Eli was no different.  His little tooth was so loose I was afraid he would choke on it in his sleep.  Luckily, it fell out at home one evening while he was eating some crackers.  Fell right into his hand.  Awesome.  (I remember eating tater tots at school one year, and one of my teeth crunching in my mouth as it fell out while I was eating the tater tots)

Crossings went to three services a month ago.  9:00, 10:30, and noon.  My mind and spirit are very happy about this.  My body is not.  Spending 6 – 7 hours at church on Sundays (roughly 6:45am to 1:30pm) is more taxing than I was anticipating, especially since it’s only about 1 hour longer than I used to be there each week.  It’s sort of like eating that 9th hot dog on a camping trip, after having downed 8 already.  1 more never “sounds” that bad, right?

I’m not on Facebook.  But Threds is on Facebook.  And I’m responsible for keeping up with it.  So if you want to follow me (sort of) on Facebook…go HERE and become a fan.

I absolutely love all the hay ride / corn maze places you can go to in October!  We’ve already spent time at the Oakes Farm, Maple Lane Farms, and the Mayfield Farm….major fun!

(FYI – the picture to the right is basically an inverted bounce house at the Oakes Farm – it’s called a Bounce Pillow.  Awesome fun, and can definitely get more air-time than you can in a standard bounce house!)

Dilemma

Every person – you included – faces many dilemmas over the course of their lives.  What type of person do I want to be?  Who do I marry?  Do I take the job offer that requires me to move to a new city?  My parents are aging…what is my responsibility in helping them?  A long time friendship is failing, what do I do to rekindle it?  When do we start having children, and how many do we have?  How do I begin saving for retirement?

Our dilemmas are shared, but unique.

I’ve been facing one of my greatest dilemmas for the last 16 years.

Hair?  Or no hair?

It began innocently enough my 2nd semester, freshman year of college.  The universal “guy down the hall who knows how to cut hair” agrees to cut my hair.  One bad turn leads to another.  Soon enough, the only logical solution is to shave it down to 1/8″ length.

I’m a little perturbed.  But it’s college, and you do dumb things, and they are funny.  Soon enough, I become used to the shaved look.  I realize how easy it is to wake up 5 minutes before class, throw on some deodorant and clothes and go….no worries about the hair.  I discover that a pair of clippers only costs about $20.00 and will last for a year.  My roommate faithfully buzzes my hair for me every Thursday night, so it always looks freshly cut.

Then I graduate and get a job at a church, and decide it might be more professional to have hair, so I begin to grow it back out.  Then I realize what a hassle it is to have hair, so I shave it again.

Then, a couple of years later, when I begin selling cars….again, I think that most car buying adults would be more comfortable speaking to a person with hair.  So I grow it back out.  Then…I shave it again.

Then I grow it back out again.  Then I meet Erin.  Then we get married.  And I keep the hair going for about 4 years.  She has only known me WITH hair, not without it.  Then in 2007, I suddenly decide to shave it again.  She hates it.  I grow it back out.

August 2009.  Shave it again.  Welcome it back with open arms.

April 2010.  Shave it freshly before heading to Arizona on a work trip.  Proceed to grow it back out upon my return, and have been letting it grow ever since, with only a couple of trims to make sure it grows out nicely.

I’m 34 years old, people.  I need to make a decision here.  It’s one thing to have a short hair cut versus a medium length hair cut….the one where most people say, “Oh, you cut your hair a little shorter this time.”  It’s another thing to have hair.  Then shave it.  Then grow it.  Then shave it.  Then grow it.

The picture on top is from September 2009.  The picture on the bottom is from 15 minutes ago.

Tell me what to do.  (I already know my wife’s vote, which carries significant weight)

PS – the look on my face in the bottom picture has no bearing on my feelings toward hair-vs-no hair.  I took a couple of pictures with a smile, and they looked really fake.  So I did my impression of “The Rock” instead.

Small Group, Back Again

3 years ago this week, I went to the first meeting of the first Crossings guys small group.  There were four of us….me, Scott, Chris and Aaron.  That first meeting was Aaron’s last meeting.  So, for the next four months, there were just the three of us (pictured here).

3 years later, there are now 3 guys small groups, encompassing about 20 – 22 guys total between the 3 groups.  I’ve admitted in front of Crossings, as well as to other small group leaders, that our first small group “reproduction” last year was a difficult one for me.  Our original small group had been together, and grown together for 2 years.  Some of my greatest current friendships were forged in that group.

But growth is good, right?  So last year we reproduced, and I gladly assumed the leadership of the 2nd group.  This year, my group remains mostly in tact, as it’s the other group that has reproduced into 2, making the total of 3.  And it continues to grow, as 2 more guys have joined the newest group, just within the last week or so.

If you don’t know this already, small group has been life changing for me.  I’ve prayed and contemplated much over the last few years about how God might use me to serve and minister both now and in the future.  My history will certainly leave many doors shut.  But at least for now it’s clear that small group is the way in which God has called me to serve.

And not just by way of serving and loving the guys in my group….but also to help lead the groups as a whole in service to others.  I’m so proud to say that in the last 2 1/2 years, the guys group has been involved in at least 23 different “3rd leg” service opportunities.  20 of those have been helping people in our community (and guys in our group) move to a new place.  And a few of those moves have been so clearly a God-given ministry that it has brought me to tears at times.

Now, can we continue at that pace?  I don’t know.  We’re trying to be more selective in these opportunities, to make sure that we’re assisting in moves that truly need our help, that don’t have other friends or resources to call upon first.  Regardless, these opportunities have been a blessing to me, to our group, and to those we’ve helped.

Even more importantly (to me at least) is that small group has given me a reason to enjoy living in Knoxville again.  My wife and I have developed deep and wonderful friendships through small group that we know will last for a long long time.  We’ve watched friends get married, have new babies, go back to school, move to new homes, get new jobs.

This is something that you just can’t get on Sunday mornings at church.  Sundays are fabulous for connecting with God…but rarely for connecting with others.  At Crossings, that happens through small group.  And I thank God for mine.

Dolly…The Mistress of Chucky

Here at Threds, we are slowly on our way to becoming an online merchandiser for Dollywood apparel and merchandise.  Never in Dollywood’s 25 years have they offered any type of merchandise for online sales.

Of the many odd and hillbilly items to be offered, one of them is a 3 or 4 foot tall doll, apparently crafted to resemble Dolly Parton herself.  In my book, the doll is not quite top-heavy or collagen-ed enough to pass the test, but whatever.

We only have 1 doll in our facility at this moment.  And everyone is scared to look at it, touch it, or even be in the same room with it.  We all think that being near the doll may inspire Chucky himself to come storming (waddling) out of the bathroom with a bloody knife in his hand.  And considering that another Dollywood product is a knife crafted from railroad ties, he wouldn’t have a hard time finding one.

(PS – in honor of the start of football season in Tennessee, I’ve selected a shade of orange for my blog that is not even close to Tennessee orange, but would easily blend in with all the other non-shades of Tennessee orange that can be seen around Knoxville on game days.  People in these parts really love their Tennessee orange….they just don’t seem to agree on what the hell shade Tennessee orange really is.)

Email Redo

I just read today that Google’s gmail offers an opportunity for an email re-do.  You know, when you send that email that you wish you could take back…..either because it was too angry, dirty, or just didn’t quite say what you wanted it to say?

It’s a limited window.  Each email you send through gmail basically stays in limbo for 30 seconds before sending off.  So, if in that 30 seconds, your heart drops, and you realize your mistake, you can delete the email before it goes out into the virtual world.

I don’t use gmail at work…we have our own company account set up through Outlook.

But that feature would have been nice back in February when I sent an angry email to my boss, where I briefly bitched about a customer of ours (a marketing manager with one of the large website accounts that I oversee), and accidentally copied the said marketing manager on the email.

Humility, fear, and deep grovelling apologies ensued.

Yes, a redo would have been very nice.

Spiritually Unbalanced

(Does one post a month qualify as blogging?  It will have to for now.)

It has occurred to me recently that Christian Spirituality (to quote Don Miller) has become more and more difficult for me to flesh out on a daily basis.  By this, I am not referring to things like daily devotions, extended prayer times, and listening to worship music every time I’m in my car.

The greater struggle has been more foundational.  Things like….Taking small moments to remember God throughout the day.  Being a more loving, accepting person.  Desiring to spend time with close friends, being in community.  Looking forward to opportunities to help others.  Intentionally inviting God’s presence into my family’s life.  Remembering the big picture, of who God is and who I am and how I fit in this world.

It feels a lot like I just need my life to slow down, but I’m not at the wheel and can’t make it happen.  Problem is, God isn’t at the wheel half the time either, because I’ve shoved Him in the trunk, thinking we’ll just have to have a talk when the car finally stops for a bit.

I have the occasional “high”, sometimes during worship on a Sunday, or maybe in a random moment with Eli.  But they are temporary, and pass quickly.

It’s been easy to make excuses like “I leave home each day at 7:00am to go to work, and usually don’t get home until 6:00pm (exhausted and stressed), and by the time we have dinner, do some laundry or dishes, get Eli cleaned up and ready for bed, there just isn’t time for anything else, just busy-ness.”

There are times when I wish we lived out in the country somewhere, worked at a bank or office or grocery store in a nearby small town, and could simply get away from the urban sprawl that seems to suck time right out of my life, and sit on a porch with glasses of lemonade and simply enjoy God’s beauty.  It sucks to feel like we have to drive 90 minutes through ridiculous traffic to enter the mountains and enjoy it now.

The thing is, God is here, now, in everyone and everything.  He’s there to meet, to enjoy, to converse, to know.  I just have trouble seeing it, and my vision keeps getting more blurred.  I have expectations about life or friendship or balance or spirituality that come from a selfish place but feel real and justified.  In short, I feel out of balance.

Do Christian bookstores sell tightrope poles?

Caffeine & Soda Free

Thanks for the comments after last month’s post.  I was shocked that anyone was still actually checking this old thing out every now and then.

Now the good news.

For last 6 weeks, I have consumed no soda, no tea, and no caffeine.  Yes, that’s right.  Caffeine, soda, and tea free for 6 weeks.  I have been a Crystal Light fiend.  Or, more specifically, a Great Value Walmart brand of Crystal Light fiend.  Fruit punch and lemonade keep me going.

The better news.

Because of this purge, I have now lost anywhere from 10 – 12 pounds in the last 6 weeks, depending on what time of day I weight myself.

I’ve tried this before with some success, but for the first time I feel like I might actually be “over the hump”.  The cravings are very mild, and I haven’t really been tempted to cheat.  I’ll keep you updated.

6 Months the Wiser

Hello blog world.  At least the 2 of you who occasionally still blog or read blogs.  Let’s get started.

As much as I enjoyed blogging, and still would like to more regularly, I know it’s like riding on a train that’s half way off the tracks.  People slowly stopped blogging about 12-18 months ago, and it’s steadily declined since then.  Quite frankly, technology moves too fast for us to keep up anymore.

On that note, I give Facebook and Twitter about 18 more months of popularity.  Many who were active Facebook-ers have now become casual Face “look” ers instead.  How many people can possibly afford the time and attention to these things at the frantic pace in which our lives project?  Now, if you could simply “speak” into your phone and update them that way, that could change things.  But now, typing things out is simply too much effort.  Anybody remember having actual pen pals?

Neil Young was in concert in Knoxville recently.  It was somewhere around one mortgage payment per ticket.  I could not tell you the name of one Neil Young song.  But as I read the local papers regarding the concert – both before and after – I decided to give him a try.  Went to McKay’s, found two scratched cd’s for about $3.00 each, and so far am REALLY enjoying the first one.  Don’t even know the title of the album.  Hoping the second one is just as good.

I recently downloaded Scrabble on my phone.  In terms of the attention I give my family, my spiritual growth, and the time it takes me to use the boys room, it’s turning out to be one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made.

In the last 6 months, Eli turned 6 years old, graduated Kindergarten, his hair is growing back out, he’s now learning to swim, he’s winning trophies on Mario Kart Wii, and he says things that are way smarter than I give him credit for.  I turned 34 years old, am also growing my hair back out, have noticed a much more visible bald spot on my crown, have already burned out on Mario Kart Wii, and am really no smarter than I was about 12 years ago.

I’m still a huge Tiger Woods fan.

In late April, I spent about 4 hours in Las Vegas with my friend Robert.  He came to Arizona with me on a Threds event trip.  In 6 days we worked about 85 hours.  But on our only short work day, we finished at the event, changed clothes, drove 2.5 hours to Vegas, spent 4 hours there, and drove 2.5 hours back.  Neither of us had ever been, so it was totally worth it.  I just can’t tell you anything about it.  Sorry, it’s the rules.

I love my wife.  She makes great meatloaf, gives generous back rubs (only to me, don’t be asking), folds the laundry with more patience than I could muster in a year, loves Friday Night Lights almost as much as I do, gives so much of herself to Crossings and her small group, watches with a smile while Eli and I act-a-fool on the kids rides at Dollywood, and looks so totally cute when she wears this certain colorful headband she got recently.

This may be it for another 6 months.  Who knows.  Be good.

overwhelmed

This moment is truly the first time I’ve even thought about blogging in the last, what, 3 weeks?

(pause – receiving a phone call at my desk…)

And, 3 minutes later, I’m back.  That’s the problem.  I’m overwhelmed at work.  I quite simply don’t have time to do anything else.  I haven’t updated by Blockbuster online queue in about a month.  Haven’t seen anything on You Tube in who knows how long.  Haven’t been on Erin’s Facebook in probably 2 weeks or more.  Have barely even had time to glance at ESPN and SI.com during the 15 minute lunch breaks that I take at my desk.

What do know….getting paged to go to my owner’s office for a conference call….until next time….

Rest

Today, I’ve returned to work after having 10 consecutive days off of work (December 25th – January 3rd).  That’s the most consecutive days off from work that I’ve experienced in about 6 years … and the last time was because I didn’t have a job.

In fact, in my 5 1/2 years at Threds, up until last week, I had never taken off a full 5-day work week for vacation.  All of my time off has been 3 day and 4 day weekends, or a random day here or there.

I’m not sure what to think about this extended rest thing.  Sure, I enjoyed most of it while it was happening.  Played a lot of Wii, spent 3 1/2 days in Kentucky with family, saw a couple of movies, ate a bunch of food.

But last night.  Oh man, last night.  The dread I felt last night at the prospect of returning to work was the worst I’d experienced since I was selling cars back in early 2004.  It’s not just work.  I like my work okay.  It was the knowledge that the month of January is going to be one of the busiest, hardest, most overwhelming months of work I’ll probably have experienced in my time at Threds.  Long story as to why – short version is that we’re taking over a pretty large merchandise account from another company, that company is going to be sending us a very LARGE amount of inventory (at least 1, maybe 2 full size 18-wheeler truck loads full), and we’ll have to unload it, count every last piece of it, enter every item into our computers, organize and inventory every bit of it, then frantically begin developing and ordering new products to build the line back up.  It’s a good long term thing for our company.  But it’s going to make January feel like hell frozen over.

And in all of this, my soul says to my mind, “Work is good.  It’s a person’s responsibility in the world to work, to earn his place, to add something, to build something, to contribute to the community and earn a living for your family.  Work is rewarding, and necessary.”

My mind responds to my soul, “That’s crap.  I have to work because Adam and Eve ate the fruit.  Lots of people have plenty of unearned money and don’t work.  Work keeps me away from home an average of 10 hours each day, when you add in the travel time to and from.  It stresses me out.  It never pays quite what you think it should.  It sucks.”

And so, at 4:28pm, I’ve taken 8 minutes to blog, even while things are piled on my desk and I’m very behind on the things I need to accomplish.  And I can’t wait for the next 22 minutes to go by.  And I’m normally not a can’t-wait-for-5:00pm-to-get-here kind of person.  I blame that feeling today on all the rest.  The glorious rest.  The addictive rest.  The God-honoring rest.

A Few Things

This will certainly not be the deepest of posts.  I’ve not even thought about this blog for the last 2 weeks.  Christmas season at work is overwhelming me….at work each day 15 – 20 minutes early, eating a 15 minute lunch at my desk, staying 30 minutes late many days.  Whew.

The new Romans t-shirt for Crossings – The Manifesto of Freedom tee.  Definitely the coolest looking one we’ve done so far.  The front of the shirt is on the left – the four boxes – representing what was laid out as the “Four Moves of Romans”.  What a Mess, What a God, What a Story, and What a Difference.  The back of the shirt – on the right – follows the pattern we’ve set up where we lay out each week’s teaching date, passage, and big idea in a concert tour style print.

On Sunday, Erin/Eli/Me went to the Live Nativity Show at the Knoxville Civic Coliseum.  Family friendly, real animals, huge choir, big production, they’ve been doing it for like 30 years.  It was AWFUL.  We left before it was even half way over.  It was free, and I still felt jipped (spelling?).  If the actual events of the Nativity were as boring as that show was, maybe that’s why only two of the four Gospels talk about it.

Over four weeks sugar soda beverage free now.  The cravings are still there, no doubt about it, but I’m holding on.  The way my body feels reminds me a lot of when I went vegetarian for a couple of months back in 2008.  I’m not as thirsty or hungry all the time, I don’t have to drink a beverage just to satisfy an urge, and I’m pretty sure it’s helping me sleep better to, since I’m consuming MUCH less caffeine now.

Eli is SO very much into Christmas now.  The kid is singing Christmas songs all the time – Rudolph, Frosty, Silent Night, Jingle Bells, you name it.  We’re told he’s singing them to himself at school, he sings them in the shower, sings them laying in bed.  It’s great.  Wanna know what he’s asking Santa for Christmas this year?  Gold and money.  Not toys, not games, not movies.  Gold and money.  This, my friends, makes Christmas shopping very difficult.

(PS – in the Christmas spirit, the kids at church got on stage and sang a song during both services this past Sunday.  Eli, during the 1st service, sitting right in the front, went full-finger deep on a nose pick, pulled the sucker out, and ate it right in front of about 130 people.  Wow.)

Tiger Woods?  No comment.  It’s a private issue that remains in my family.  My wife knows how I feel, and it should remain that way.  We simply ask for privacy during this difficult time, as I deal with my conflicting emotions, and look forward to the upcoming 2010 PGA golf season.

Good Bye Soda

For about as long as I can remember, I’ve been an active consumer of Coke, Mountain Dew, Mellow Yellow, Sunkist, Dr Pepper, etc … the entire family of high fructose corn syrupy goodness that is the American soft drink.  In high school, when I went to church camp, I couldn’t wait for canteen time to roll around, so I could buy a Kit Kat bar and a Mountain Dew.  In college, when I would drive to a ministry on the weekends, I would stop at the local Super America gas station in Grayson, KY and purchase a 20oz Mountain Dew and a honey bun for the road.  For the last couple of years, Coke has been more my drink of choice.  From the can.  From the bottle.  From the fountain.  I love it all.

In the past 19 days, however, I’ve consumed 1 (one) 12oz can of Sprite.  And that was 14 days ago.  Other than that, it’s been UNsweet tea, water, water with Crystal Light lemonade packets added to it, orange juice, grape juice, and milk.  I’ve consumed 2 diet-orange soda drinks.  They were okay, but I didn’t care for them much.

By my estimates, over the last few years, I’ve consumed an average of 2000 – 3000 calories a week from soft drinks or sweet tea.  Roughly a pound worth of calories each week.  Tasty, delicious, craved calories, yes.  But, nutritionally speaking, empty calories.  Calories that do nothing for me but pep me up for a bit, then bring me down, and leave me craving more.

My attempts to cut out soft drinks in the past have been futile.  Partly because I’ve been addicted to them for so long.  And partly because I’ve not had a worthy “substitute” drink to satisfy me.  I’ve always HATED diet soft drinks, and I just don’t enjoy drinking water that much.

This time around, I’ve turned most of my attention to unsweet tea.  It takes a little getting used to.  I’m sure it’s a lot like drinking coffee or beer in that regard (I assume, since I don’t drink coffee or beer).  But I’m getting more used to it, and the presence of caffeine certainly helps.  The orange juice and grape juice have calories, yes.  I’m drinking them in moderation, only at home, mainly for the extra Vitamin C during the cold season.

I’m pretty sure this is my longest non-sugar-soda stretch in many years.  At this point, I’m feeling much better about my chances of long term change.  Ultimately, I would love to simply eliminate carbonated drinks all together, diet or non diet.  I’m doing it partly because of the calories, partly because it will save me money, and partly because of the challenge, just the idea that this is something I should be able to exercise some control over.

Wish me luck.

A Few Questions

I have this feeling that once Heaven is my reality, I won’t really care about those questions I’ve always wanted to ask God.  Sort of like trying to wrap your brain around how the Egyptians built the pyramids, then when you see them in person, you don’t really care….you just want to admire them for what they are.

However, if curiousity is still a valid response upon entering the pearly gates, here are just a few of the questions I would like to ask God.  I’m assuming He’ll continue to be all-present at that time, so that I won’t have to make an appointment or stand in line.  That would make this much easier.

Questions:

Which is it, really?  Nature or nurture?  And if both, what’s the percentage breakdown?

Did you allow me to break my left arm 3 times in elementary school for a purpose?  Does that purpose have anything to do with me being afraid to do anything that might cause injury ever since that time?

When my sister was in a car wreck that might should have killed her, did You actually intervene, or was it just pure luck?

Do You ever truly intervene, or do You allow things to happen the way they happen, and leave us to ponder the difference?

7 days of creation, or 7 eras/ages of creation, or instantaneous creation, or none of the above?

Why not make Your inspired Word a tad more black and white?  Wouldn’t that have made faith more attainable for all?  Why so many mysteries and grey areas?

Who really killed JFK?

Are we actually experiencing global warming in the 21st century?

If I had chosen one college over another when I was 18, how would my life have been different?

When my best friend’s heart failed and he collapsed and practically died right in front of me at the age of 25, was there anything I could have done at that moment that might have saved his life?

Did Jesus ever have a girlfriend?

Could you please quantify the size of the universe, and tell me whether or not it actually ends at some point?

Once saved, always saved?

In Your eyes, was Dennis Miller the worst Monday Night Football hire ever?

Why is life such a struggle?

Now that I’m in Heaven, what exactly do we do for the next trillion years?

Moving Crew

About 18 months ago, after our guys small group had been meeting for about 6 months, had grown in numbers just a little, and were starting to gel, we kept having conversations each week about how we wanted to serve more consistently, both as individuals and as a small group.  We wanted to be involved with helping people.  Problem was, we just didn’t know how, and we didn’t want to just default to serving meals because that seemed like something lots of people were doing already.

Over the last 18 months, God took it upon Himself to figure this out for us.  He has effectively placed in our path NINE (9) opportunities to help someone either in our small group, or in the Crossings community, move from one home to another.  We are now, as we like to call it, the Moving Crew.

Two of these opportunities have come in the last two weeks.  Last Thursday night, about 9 of us helped a single female in another small group move from one apartment to another.  The ENTIRE move, beginning to end, took about 50 minutes.  That’s what happens when you have a reasonably small amount of furniture to move, 9 guys, and a 20-foot box truck that Threds lets me use.

Then, last night, another move.  We were excited to help Kristin, a great friend and a super-awesome person, in her move as a first-time home owner!  (Refer to picture…not pictured is China Matt, who I think must have been using the bathroom while this was being taken.  Sorry man.) She had significantly more stuff.  But again, with 10 guys, a 20-foot Threds box truck, and 2 other pickup trucks, the entire move took about 2 hours.  Then we were treated to home cooked BBQ, chips, brownies, and sweet tea!

It can be hard work.  It can be frustrating.  But it’s so amazing to get to step into the lives of people in our community and help them in a tangible way, in what is usually a sort of overwhelming time.  I’m so thankful God heard our conversations and prayers, and helped us find a way to serve.

In fact, our small group is so pumped up about our ministry, we’ve taken the obvious next step.  We’re getting t-shirts!  =)

The Shoreline

Over the last 8 years of my life, debt has been a constant reminder of my terrible actions and stupid decisions.  The terrible actions and stupid decisions, well, I won’t get into those today.  As for the debt…

It feels much like jumping off of a sinking about about a mile from shore.  You’ve got on a life jacket, so you’re staying alive, but you’re a mediocre swimmer, and the current proves too strong.  You swim hard, kick, fight, make progress, and can see the shoreline.  The shoreline full of debt-free people who enjoy less stress, take vacations, save for the future, and drive paid-for cars.

Then you stop to catch your breath, and the current does its thing.  And 8 years later, instead of being a mile from the shoreline, you’re now .85 miles away.  Closer, but a long ways away and struggling.

I know the situation is about 97% my fault, but it’s so much easier to be mad at the system, the credit card companies, ridiculous health care premiums, and the untimeliness of certain costly events.

Dave Ramsey has been a good guide and a reasonable voice, but his methods alone can only take you so far.  Selling every unessential item you own, taking on three jobs, and never spending a dime on anything unnecessary sounds inspiring when you read it.  Until, of course, you realize every unessential item you own is probably worth about $100 total, you care more about the sanity of your family than about working three jobs, and that never spending a dime on anything leads to hermitism, social depression, and never doing anything with friends.

So you make an airtight budget that pays your bills, gives you a small weekly allowance that gives you at least some freedom to grab an occasional lunch or see a movie once a month, and then hope to God that the car doesn’t break down, that a bone doesn’t get broken, and that you’re lucky enough to keep your job.

And, then, squeezed somewhere into there, you give back to God.  You tighten the small weekly allowance, just to make it possible.  And you go through a mental battle that wages a war on whether or not that God-money is optional.  “Bought too many groceries this week?  Just take it out of the God money.”  (no, no, no)  “Donated money to a third party cause of some sort?  No problem, just take that out of the God money.”  (ahhhh, can’t do that)  “Have to buy a pair of shoes this week, because yours are 2 years old and falling apart.  You gotta do it, gotta have shoes.  Just take it out of the God money.”  (crap! stop!)

And so you swim.  And hope.  And pray.  And say thanks for forgiveness for stupid decisions.  And you give.  And work hard to accept what you have as a blessing from the Giver.  And you squint even harder, trying to see the light in the tunnel.  You dig harder, trying to see that ray of sunlight coming through the dirt.  You swim faster, seeking the joy of the shoreline.  And you enjoy family and friends.  You worship.  You trust.  You live.

Creating Moments

Having been a part of my guys small group now for over 2 years, I sometimes find myself feeling bad for churches that try to do small groups, and it just doesn’t work.  I don’t even really know who these churches are, I just know they’re out there.

Coming from a fairly traditional church background, up until just a few years ago, I can totally understand how small groups just don’t work in many places.  It’s hard to describe, but not so hard to understand.

At the same time, it’s hard to describe exactly why they DO work at Crossings.  Granted, not every small group is always flourishing.  Some have growing pains.  Others end.  Still others have consistency issues.  But, as a whole, our small groups are thriving and are truly providing the life blood of our church.

Because each group is different, does different things, and are led by different personalities, I can really only explain MY view as to what makes a small group work.  How do you build community among people who may not know each other?  How do generate a spirit of loyalty and camraderie?  How do build a small group for the long term?

For me, it’s by CREATING MOMENTS.  What do I mean?  Think back to your youth group (if you were in one).  Do you remember the lessons or what you prayed about?  I don’t, and you probably don’t either.  But do you remember the mission trip, the CIY conference, the service project you did in the cold of winter, or the crazy experiences on the church van?  I do.

Think back to high school.  Do you remember any individual class session or a conversation with a friend?  Probably not.  But do you remember your prom, going to the state competition in something, participating in a special event, or your graduation party?  I do.

Are you a parent?  Think back on your child’s first year.  Do you remember much about individual days or moments spent with your child?  Probably not.  But do you remember the birth?  The first time they smiled or crawled?  Their first birthday party?  I do.

So now, I think back on my small group.  We’ve studied about 15 books of the Bible, spent hours in prayer for one another, eaten lots of great snacks, and spent time talking about our weeks and what’s going on in our lives.  Do I remember much of that over the course of 2 years?  A little bit, but not much.

But what do I remember?  …….  our very first awkward small group meeting at Scott’s apartment, helping the Restoration House with a work project, laughing our asses off at IHOP, going to see The Dark Knight, helping people in our community move to new places, welcoming Mark to our small group with a customized banner, spontaneously deciding one night to go see midget wrestling, only to end up at Sundown in the City, celebrating the glorious revolution from England together, going camping on a wet and rainy weekend, gangsta posing with the BVD, leaving a stack of potted meat cans on one guys doorstep, going to see our new friend in the hospital after he had a wreck, then helping him move to a new apartment a week later, pissething on the wall, going tubing on the Pigeon River, going to see our buddy’s band perform, volunteering at Prom of the Stars, watching a guy in our small group get baptized.

For me, this is what makes our small group great.  Clearly, we are grounded in seeking Christ together, studying His Word, and praying for each other.  But what has made it last, what has built true friendship and loyalty and a spirit of togetherness, has been creating moments.  Moments that build, that serve, and that endure.  To me, without these, we are basically a Sunday School class that meets on Thursday.  But by creating moments, we become a small group.

Death to TV

This is something I share with people often.  I do it because I like to sound frugal, and because it helps me seem like a person who has his priorities straight in the world.  I also share it out of arrogance, because it somehow helps me feel better than those to whom I am sharing.  Yes, I recognize these things, yet I do it anyway.

You’re asking…What is it you share?  I’m so glad you asked, because that way it makes it much easier for me to project my false morals on you.

The statement:  In my entire life, the only time I’ve ever had cable TV was during my 4 years of college. Yep.  Truth.  33 years old, and I’ve enjoyed cable TV for only 4 years of it.

Growing up, we had the huge outdoor antenna that usually sometimes got us the big 4 or 5 stations out of Louisville, KY.  Usually.  College – cable.  Enjoyed it.  The early years of Sports Center with Dan Patrick and Keith Olberman, movie reruns on TBS and USA, getting to watch the Bulls play more than 3 times  a year.

Ever since – no cable.  At least, not REAL cable.  For several years, I simply used an amplified tv antenna that normally got 4 or 5 stations.  For about 5 years now, we’ve had the “basic cable” package, which gets us anywhere from 6 – 9 watchable stations and cost us about $15.00 a month.

** Watchable stations do not include QVC, the local Knoxville brainwashed preaching programs, or the 24 hour a day local community news feed that updates me on things like Parents Night Out at Rockwell Baptist Church and Free Gummy Bear Day at Ace Hardware Store.

Now, if we really wanted to, we could scrounge up some money and afford regular cable.  We would need to cancel our monthly Blockbuster Online account, but it would be doable.  But here’s my issue….why give myself even MORE opportunity to watch TV, when I already watch more than necessary already?

Lately, we haven’t even really watched a ton of  TV.  We always watch The Office and 30 Rock, but everything else is hit or miss.  I watch sports occasionally on Saturday or Sunday, but rarely more than a couple of hours, and I rarely if ever watch an entire game of any sport from beginning to end.

We still use Blockbuster Online, but more sparingly than in the past.  It seems as though we’ve finally watched about every movie we would ever want to see, and most new releases just don’t pique our interest as much.  We keep Blockbuster Online mainly for the TV series that are sometimes harder to find in the stores.  Just this week we finished Season 3 of Dexter (amazing!).  And it’s cool to have access to older movies online that the stores don’t stock, like Cool Hand Luke or Chinatown.  One of which I haven’t watched yet, and one of which I didn’t really like.  That doesn’t matter though.  What matters is they are available.

But again.  Why do we need more TV?  We typically only have about 2 hours of actually family time together in the evenings before it’s time for Eli to go to bed.  On the weekends we go to church, grocery shop, run errands, and try to do something fun every once in a while.  I’m older now, so I typically go to bed around 10:30 instead of midnight.

Why do we need more TV?  Most shows are set up now so that you MUST watch every week to know what’s going on.  If you miss a week, you’ve got to catch it on Hulu before it’s too late.  We have no DVR, so we can’t just set up to record everything we like.  And why would we?  So we can send Eli to bed even earlier, and veg out even more on the weekends, just to get caught back up on How I Met Your Mother or Parks and Recreation?

No, I say.  Not more TV.  Less TV.  Admission – the pull is still there.  I want ESPN so bad I want to cry sometimes.  But I also know that 1 hour of Sports Center just doesn’t suffice.  For some reason, it’s necessary to watch it 3 times in a row, just to see if they deliver their lines differently the second or third time around.  So I fight the urge.  I fight Erin’s urge.  I fight Eli’s urge (Disney, Nick, Cartoon Network).  And we suffer through life with basic channels, an analog VCR for recording purposes, and Blockbuster Online for everything else.

And in some ridiculous and warped way, in my mind, that makes me seem better than you.  Unless of course you don’t have a TV at all.  Which simply makes you strange and out of touch.  =)

The Old Testament Blues

I don’t quite understand how to read the Old Testament.  Do I read it for historical purposes, to understand the lineage of Jesus?  Do I read it for life application, comparing my life to the up and downs of the Israelites, realizing that I stray and turn my back on God as often as they did?  Do I read it just to get an understanding of how bad things were, and why we needed a Savior?

Example.  We just studied the 10 Plagues in Exodus at small group last week.  We doing some studies of the Essential 100, and that’s just where we are at.

Now, the plagues are an amazing story, just in terms of story value.  Makes for an amazing movie.  Shows the power of God in a frightening way.  The things that happened are unfathomable and so epic that we could never understand their affect.

But I don’t really understand what to take from reading about the plagues.  In fact, it makes me shake my head about God maybe more than anything else in the OT.  The plagues were cruel, terrible, sort of over-the-top punishment rained upon an entire nation or people group.  It’s hard for me to be believe that ALL the Egyptians were deserving of this punishment, that many of them were simply suffering because of the hard heart of the Pharoah.  Their water supply was ruined, their land turned to filthy, odorous ruins, their livestock obliterated, and thousands of firstborn children killed.  Sure, the end game was to make it possible for Moses to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt and off to their own lands.  But was all that really necessary?  In fact, the flood makes more sense to me than the plagues.

Over the last 2 years in small group, we’ve studied Genesis, some of Exodus, and most of the minor prophets.  And I’ve continued this struggle of knowing how to read these books and what to gain from them.  I’ve struggled with the fact that so much is missing, chunks of time go by in a story and you have no idea what happened during those times.  Sometimes God is a provider, sometimes full of wrath, sometimes elusive, and sometimes is even coaxed by a prophet to change His mind about something.

So many Old Testament laws and practices no longer apply and were really abolished by the new covenant.  The person of Jesus made so many OT laws seem ridiculous (an eye for an eye).  So, why read parts of Exodus or Deuteronomy or Leviticus where so many of these laws are laid out, which no longer mean anything to me, and only serve to make me more confused?

So.  How do you read the Old Testament?  What do you gain from it in personal life application?  Do you get as confused as I do?  Do you read it just as a surface story, or do you like to dig deeper into the meanings, the culture, the background?  Ultimately, I know it’s important for me to read these books of Scripture, I’d just like to figure out the best reason why.

By The Way…

Gotcha.

Go ahead and hit yourself in the arm for me.  Suckaaa!!

Come On In, The Water’s Fine!

For me, one of the nice things about growing older – both in age and in my faith – has been the opportunity to wrestle with faith questions in my life.  Over the years, one of the most important of these questions has been the role of baptism in salvation.

Background – I grew up in a church tradition, and went to a Christian college, that both viewed and taught baptism as being a necessary, final step to being saved.  There was a specific salvation process – you believe, you repent, you confess, and you are baptized.  All four of these steps were necessary, and the omission of any, at the very least, put your salvation at risk.  It was looked at sort of like changing the tire on your car, but forgetting to tighten the lug nuts on the spare.  Yeah, the tire is there, but it’s probably going to fall off as soon as your drive away.  Then you wreck and die.

I had often questioned this view of baptism, but had neither the depth of faith nor the moxy to dig into it further.  I had asked myself questions like, “If you saved a person in the deserts of Africa, and the nearest “dunkable” water source was 5 miles away, and this person simply could not make it to the water source, would they really die and go to hell?”  Scriptural references aside, this simply did not make sense to me.  It was contrary to the loving and relational nature of God.

A turning point began for me around 1997, when I heard Bob Russell, senior minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Ky, do a sermon series on these 4 steps of salvation.  Long story short, he spoke of baptism in this way…..baptism isn’t necessarily required for salvation, but it is required for the “assurance” of salvation.  God is not a legalistic God, so it’s not in his nature to make us do things to earn his love.  But read the New Testament, especially Acts – Jesus was baptized, and everyone who came to know and believe in Christ was baptized.  If it was good enough for Jesus and the first Christians, shouldn’t we naturally follow that example?

This made sense.  It left open the possibility that a person was saved upon belief and repentance, even if they couldn’t immediately get to a baptistry, creek, or lake.  It helped me see baptism as a celebration of salavation, rather than the final exam.  Since that time, I’ve viewed baptism as a wedding ceremony to Christ….when you fall in love and commit your life to your future spouse, you don’t have to just run out and immediately get married.  At the same time, it’s not necessary to have a full blown wedding with 100’s of people and a fancy ceremony.  Yet couples like to do this, because it’s a celebration.  It’s a way to celebrate their love with others, to make it public, to create a memory that will last forever.

You don’t have to get baptized immediately….accordingly, nor should you wait 2 years to do it.  You can be baptized in front of 2 people or 10,000.  The point is, it’s a celebration of your love for Christ.  It’s your wedding to him.  Maybe – MAYBE – you don’t have to marry Christ.  Maybe God’s love reaches wide and long enough to hold you in, even if you ignore this important step.

But why would you?  Why ignore the example of Christ and the early believers?  Why explain away its importance?  Why sprinkle when Christ was immersed?  Why baptize babies when people in the Scriptures made this decision on their own?  Why roll the dice and take the chance?  In this way, baptism as the “assurance” of salvation has always made great sense to me.

Yesterday, we had another Crossings baptism celebration.  As always, it was great.  At Crossings, we have baptism celebrations every 3-5 months.  In most cases in our community, new believers in Christ are not baptized immediately.  I have old friends who would have a great deal of issue with this, so much so that they would probably not attend our church because of it.  I can understand this, I just don’t agree with it.  You just can’t imagine how special it is when we plan these celebrations, invite the entire community, have dozens – even hundreds – of people show up, and all celebrate wildly together when each person is raised from the water.  As a result, our baptisms are less of a hurried requirement (and even sometimes annoying to those who are ready to leave church and get to lunch before the crowd arrives)….and more of an anticipated party.

I’m so grateful for the depth of God’s love.  And I’m thankful that the waters of baptism are not a hoop, a jump rope, a high bar, or a 3 point line.  Rather, they are 2 open arms, a kiss on the cheek, a thousand hugs, and enough “woo hoo’s!” to last a lifetime.

Assisted Death

Last night we were watching some episodes from the season 3 DVD of Dexter – one of the best TV shows I’ve ever seen.  Check it out sometime.

Anyway.  A character in the tv show is dying of lung cancer.  It’s terminal.  There’s no way to treat or cure the cancer at this point.  Dexter has known this lady for many years and visits her in the hospice care center a few times.

One day he goes in, and she’s in a terrible mood.  Why?  Because the doctor told her that her tumor was actually slowing down it’s growth rate.  Meaning she probably had another month to live, instead of another week.  She began to cry and choke, completely torn up over the fact that she now had to endure the pain, the difficult breathing, the vomiting, and, as she put it, s**tting all over herself at night, for another month.  She just wants to die and be done with it.  She’s ready to go.  Her husband had died a year or two before, and she was simply ready to join him.  And, in the end, she begs Dexter to help her die.  To pull the plug.  Smother her.  Anything to make it all be over with.

If I’m ever in her shoes, will I feel the same way?  I’ve never had to endure prolonged and terminal pain, so I can’t say for sure.  But it really made me start thinking about assisted death and, apart from religious or spiritual views on the matter, whether there was a place for it in the world of health care.  Sure, guidelines and legal protocols would likely be a mile long.  Lawsuits would run rampant.  But might there be a place for it, really?  Would it be ALL that different from the do-not-recessitate laws that are already used?  Was Jack Kavorkian on to something?

Crap, I don’t know.  I feel sort of sacreligous for even thinking it.  At the same time, it seems right, almost kind and merciful in many situations.  To allow a person who’s scientific hope for physical relief has reached its end the personal option to end their suffering.  My head is sort of spinning on this one.  I’ll need to think it through.  Thoughts?

Health Care

I am completely torn on the health care debate.  Over a year ago, after watching the movie “Sicko”, it was clear to me that health care for all was the only clear path for a moral nation.  How could you allow people to be sick, to live with disease, or to die.  And, maybe even worse, how could you stand to send millions of people into financial shambles if they are forced to have problems or injuries treated with no health coverage.

Here’s the thing.  I haven’t changed my stance on health care.  I still think it should be provided to all, somehow, someway.

It’s the “somehow, someway” that I’m torn over.  I understand capitalism and economics enough to know that free health care isn’t the answer.  But how do you federally regulate the system so that it’s fair to everyone.

Sure, we could regulate the cost of all procedures down to the bare minimum.  But don’t hospitals, insurers, and doctors have at least some right to earn a good living?  Sometimes I think it’s criminal for a doctor or surgeon to make $500,000 to $1,000,000 per year, knowing that money comes from inflated insurance costs and expensive procedures that most people just could never afford, but are forced to undergo just to live.  At the same time, I think, “well, that doctor or surgeon went to school and worked his or her ass for about 10-12 years to learn how to heal the human body, so they should be entitled to make that kind of money.”  You get my dilemma?

Both fortunately and unfortunately, long gone are the days of the town doctor that shows up to your house with a little satchel and does what he can to help and might accept a side of beef for payment.  Fortunately, because today people don’t have to battle illness on their own.  They don’t have to automatically assume that the flu might take their life.  They don’t have to have their broken bones set by a family member and then braced with a couple of pieces of wood and some string.  We have a plethora of doctors, clinics, and hospitals.  We have prescription medicines that help us breathe better, sleep better, hurt less, fight off bugs, regulate our blood, and battle fevers.  We have procedures for all types of injuries and problems that have been studied, practiced, revised, improved, and repracticed over the years, such that procedures that may have been impossible 100 years ago are now common and routine.

But, unfortunately, because all of this comes at a price.  We feel we have a right to be treated immediately and effectively for our respiration problem, but forget that the machine that just x-rayed our chest cost about $350,000, and someone has to pay for it.  We sue surgeons and hospitals for any procedure that doesn’t go quite right, and they in turn charge that much more for the service because of their rising insurance costs.  We eat fast food, drink sugar, and barely exercise, yet wonder why in the world we keep getting sick 3 – 5 times a year, and why our joints hurt so much when we turn 40, and why we’re so sluggish all the time, in need of more coffee or Coke.  We can’t believe the hospitals would charge $20,000 for a simple surgery, yet we forget that the surgeon studied for many many years, and probably deserves to be very well paid, considering that his/her job is to help people live longer.

So, now, I no longer really know where I stand.  Free health care, but at who’s expense?  Subsidized health care?  But again, at who’s expense?  Can, we, as a nation, adjust to longer waits and only-as-truly-needed procedures?  Are we capable of taking some responsibility for our personal health habits?  Is it any more fair to federally mandate the cost of a surgery than it would be to federally mandate the price of a large pizza?

Yes, the health care industry needs to be held more accountable.  They need to be consistent.  They need to be more open.  It should be far less difficult to find out how much something costs, and why.  It should not be common practice to charge two different patients two different costs for the same procedure.  These types of things make me sick.  But I know these things happen in other industries as well.  The only difference is that the other industries aren’t necessarily enlongating my life, or the life of my friends or family.  So I just don’t care quite as much.

I don’t know the answer.  I only hope there is one.  Because any nation, whether Christian or Muslim, wealthy or third world, should truly and actively care about the physical well being of its citizens.  To me, that is the one unshakable fundamental to this debate.

Ground Rules

At least for now, I want to continue blogging.  But for the sake of purpose and clarity, I’ve tried to think through some ground rules, a sort of blog-filter if you will.  The blogs that have lasted are the blogs that matter and have a point.  The days of everyone starting a blog and posting nothing but personal updates and you tube videos are over.  Partly because we get tired of that.  Partly because Facebook offers a much better way to communicate personal-life details.  I’m even getting a weird feeling that Twitter is going to die out soon.  Anyone who has enough time on their hands each day to keep a consistent Twitter feed going needs to re-evaluate what exactly they are doing with their time each day.  And those are are Twittering consistently are simply going to get tired of it.

So a blog needs to be thoughtful, meaningful, and provide an actual reason for a reader to return.  I know most of you that read, and you can simply become friends with Erin on Facebook to find out that Eli had a good day at kindergarten, we went on a camping trip, or that work has been rough.  So for you to stay interested, and to attract possible new readers (which I admit I want to do), there has to be more.

With that in mind, here are a few ground rules I’m going to establish.  They’re not necessarily hard and fast (and if you just said “that’s what she said” to yourself, shame on you), and I may occasionally allow myself a guilty humorous pleasure or two, but they’re ground rules nonetheless.

1. If I can create a post in two minutes or less, it’s not a post, and never deserves to be a post.

2. Blog posts shall be well thought out, and written to the best of my ability.

3. I will try to focus my content on issues, opinions, challenges, questions, admissions, hypothesis, and general diatribes that are important to my faith, worldviews, and overall life experience.

4. Because of ground rule #3, anonymous comments are both welcomed and encouraged if the commenter feels it necessary.  This gives you the freedom to question my views, give truly honest feedback, or simply bash me.

5. There shall be no established guideline to the frequency of posts.  It’s easy to post frequently if such posts are not well thought out (see ground rule #2).  That shall not be the case here.  Posting frequency shall coincide only with the time and ability I have to post thoughtfully and effectively.  Therefore, any comment asking where I am or did I disappear shall be ignored.

6. Reader comments are not only welcomed and encouraged, but shall serve as a litmus to the quality of the posts, and the overall health of the blog.  An equation might look like this:  Comments = good post & healthy blog …(or)… No comments = crappy post & dying blog.

7. The total number of “views” on this blog shall no longer mean anything (much like a pitcher’s winning record when his ERA is actually 5.23).  It is apparent that most of my 27,000 views to date have come from people who have Googled the following search terms:  “Hillary Clinton’s cankles”, “Toyota Corolla”, “Michael Jackson History”, “BVD underwear”, and “Best Worship Music.”  None of these Google searchers have either read or contributed to the blog in any way.  They are dead to me.

I hereby announce that the official Ground Rules are established.

since my last post…

I spent 4 days in Elkhart, Indiana on a work trip.  Felt amazement at the vast expanse of corn fields along the interstate.  And partook of an almost live pig while there.

Went on a “stay-cation” in Pigeon Forge with Erin & Eli in early August for 4 days.

Took a 2 day golfing trip to Richmond, Kentucky with a great friend of mine who I had not seen in three years.

Saw Eli off to his first days of Kindergarten.  He’s doing rather well, I think.  Most days, his favorite part of the day is getting to choose what he wants to eat for lunch.  The choice is the key.  When I was growing up, they served what they served.  But he gets to choose between two main dishes, and can pick 3 of 5 side items.  Heaven for a 5 year old who loves eating.

Began shaving my head again.  I can’t help it.  It’s who I am.  I like it this way.

Saw our first ever sunflowers grow to be 6 – 12 feet tall.  Soon after, they got too top heavy for their own good and began to fall over.

Went tubing down the Pigeon River twice, once with 3 guys from small group, and once with Erin and our great friends Reid and Sarah.  I nearly broke my finger swinging from an old rickety rope swing on the side of the river.

Joined my first ever fantasy sports league of any kind.  And won my first matchup.

Celebrated my 5-year anniversary with Threds (today, in fact).  The longest I’ve ever been at one job in my life.

Saw my guys small group nearly double to at least 16 guys, maybe 18.  Sadly – and happily – we’ll soon be “reproducing” into two separate groups.

Heard the loudest singing from our community at Crossings that I’ve ever heard in my over-2 years of being there.  Tear jerking.

Rearranged my office at work.  Come visit me sometime.  You can see.

Spent 3 days in Charlotte, NC at the annual Salsarita’s franchisee convention.

Went camping for 2 1/2 days in Cades Cove with my good friend Chris.  My first time camping in about 10 years.  We saw 4 deer walking through the campground, saw 3 bears while driving the Cades Cove loop, did a 5 mile round trip hike to Abrams Falls, ate 4 fire roasted hot dogs each, and went through an entire bag of marshmallows.

Helped a new friend from small group move to a new apartment just days after he had a terrible motorcycle accident, broke his pelvis, busted his hip, and tore his leg up pretty good.  I’m so grateful to be in community with guys who are ready and willing to help.

Was thrilled to see my wife, Erin, be awarded the Golden BVD award at the last Crossings Leadership Community.  Congrats, honey!

Have thought often about the future direction of this blog.  I’ll get into that more at another time.  For now, please enjoy a sampling of pictures that help encapsulate some things I’ve just mentioned in this post.

I’m taking a break

for a while.  Can’t say exactly how long.  Been blogging about three times a week for over 2 years now.  And this whole Facebook and Twitter are taking over the world, blogging is growing obsolete, and if you’re not posting from your qwerty keyboard phone your a social geezer shift continues to weigh on me.  Therefore, it’s break time.

Talk to you again sometime in the not so distant or immediate future.

limerick

I’ll tonight work from six until eight
With other brains to speculate
Efficiency plans
That down to a man
Will give us more work and less breaks

This weekend we’ll drive to the state
Where bluegrass and coal mining mate
To hang with the crew
Both Edelen and Booe
You need me to elucidate?

Last night watched a movie so wack
With Keanu the thespian hack
Where he Stood Still the Earth
Not a crap was it worth
Can I please have my two hours back?

In the comments I’d sure love to see
A writer who eloquently
Can write such a prose
As me, I suppose
On my part it’s wishful thinking. =)

haiku

Too busy at work
To write anything at all
On this silly blog

Twelve minute lunch break
Can’t stand to leave my office
Or I’ll get behind

Need a vacation
But those things require money
Money me no have

Back to the grind now
Maybe I’ll opine again
In a day or five

In the Year 3000…In the Year Three Thousaaaaand

Mountain Dew, Red Bull, & Amp will form a partership to combine their technologies into one drink….it will be called “OH HELL YEAH I’M TWEAKING BABY!”  It will be a hit.

People will still speculate whether or not Elvis and 2Pac are still alive.

All of Europe will have transitioned into a nudist continent.

Blogging, Facebook, Twitter and the rest will be replaced by ThinkWarp.  You simply think something, in your mind, and your friends will hear it in their ears.

People will think of the A-Bomb, Napalm, and Nuclear Missles the way we think of spears and slingshots…as in, “Wow, I can’t believe people back in the 21st century had such primitive means of battle.  What woosies.”

Braveheart will still stand as the movie to which all other movies are compared to in terms of overall greatness.

Cows, pigs and chickens will no longer need to be raised and killed.  All meat products will be expertly grown in labratory-factories with giant petrie dishes.  All humans will have become lactose intolerant because of 21st and 22nd century steroid enhanced milk, making dairy products obsolete.

Bill Clinton will be looked upon as one of the greatest presidents in our nations history.  George W Bush will still be the butt of presidential jokes.  Barack Obama will have paved the way for future black presidents, hispanic presidents, and eventually a gothic teenage president.

Because of increased fear and crime, Trick or Treat will devolve into “Knock and I’ll Shoot”.  Of course, shoot is such a present day term, as guns won’t exist as we know them in that time.  It will probably be more like, “Knock and I’ll Say Intruder”, at which point the voice activated home protection system will active the magnetic field under the porch (all people will be required to wear lightweight magnetic shoes, enabling law enforcement to stop an individual at any time by activating the magnetic field under the area in which they stand), causing the person to be stuck in that spot.  It will then automatically alert the local law enforcement agency with a detailed report of the both the person (through use of a retinal information scan, or RIS) and the incident.  Police will arrive within seconds through an underground tunnel system (sort of like a hyperspeed roller coaster with protective tubes that you travel in), and take the person in question to jail, where their punishment, which will actually be the uniform punishment system, will be to sit in a room for 48 hours, where they will have nothing but bread and water, and be forced to watch all 12 Seasons of the early 21st century version of ABC’s “Wife Swap”.